Thursday, December 29, 2005

Do they have fireman in Canada?

After today I would have to answer a resounding YES!!!

So a few days before Christmas my dad turned on the wrong burner and burnt a decorative stovetop covering. Oops. He quickly went to the store, bought a new set, wrapped them and put them under the tree for my mom. All was well in Canada.

This morning Cster decided to use the stove. Turned it on and left while the kettle boiled. (A watched pot doesn't boil you know) My mom walked in a few minutes later and started yelling. Oops. Smoke billowed everywhere and this time we got flames. Real flames. My parents have an alarm system that calls you if an alarm goes off. They called and my mom said "we put it out, no problem". Not 5 minutes later a firetruck pulled up and two firemen jumped off the truck in full gear. "Nothing to see here folks". He did his investigation and didn't even roll his eyes once or make fun of us. While the firemen were coming in my uncle pulls up too. Apparently when they couldn't get a hold of us the alarm company called every emergency contact on my parents list. My aunt, my uncle, my dad at work. Oh the drama.

Alas we are fine. A little cold from having to air out the house all morning but fine.

And no more decorative stove top covers again. Ever.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005


I once shared an entire box of turtles with a friend. Mmmm...I love turtles.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Tis the Season...


I'm one of those crazy people that think we need more Christmas in our lives. We should do as much as possible. I LOVE IT ALL!!!! (That being said I am posting instead of wrapping Christmas presents...oops)

Our Christmas season has been so great so far. We took the much dreaded 12 hour drive to the In-Laws and Mster was fabulous. She got 5 stars. I sat in the back with her for the whole trip which helped dramatically. Much singing. Much reading. Much tickling. Much of everything and then repeat but we arrived and all was well. Well, all was well except our stupid cold and Msters crazy sleep patterns but no need to get into that. The in-laws are great. We are saddened to not partake of their traditions this year. No pots and pots of clam chowder followed by cranberry blows on Christmas Eve. No opening presents in our pajamas.

We arrived at my parents yesterday and the trip was AWESOME!!! My mother got us business class seats (yeah points) and I don't think I can ever go back to coach. The airport was a ZOO and yet we just walked up to the ticket counter and got our boarding pass. The security was a mile long and we just walked up to our "special" security area and boom we were ready to head to our gate. We boarded and realized that 2 business class seats are equal to 10 regular seats. Aaah!!! It was great. Much beverages were consumed along with warm nuts in a bowl, an edible meal (including a warm chocolate chip cookie). Heaven!! The flight attendant even came over while we were changing Mster to take away her diaper. (Now hopefully all of you know me well enough to know that I am not a snob nor do I expect those in the service industry to do demeaning stuff such as take away a nasty poopy diaper but I have to admit it was nice not to have to figure out what to do with it afterwards. And for those that are currently disgusted that I would even think to change Mster in business class and not in the bathroom I would encourage you to take another look at the size of the bathroom next time you fly.)

We arrived save and sound. Canada is great, albeit lacking in snow. Cster has yet to wear a jacket. Crazy Cster. In fact, Cster has yet to wear a shirt with long sleeves on it (and we've been outside on numerous occasions). Mster loves the lights and loves blow up outdoor Christmas decorations. Today has been a day full of "NO" (snow) and "NOMA" (snoman) and "pdee" (pretty, as in pretty tree, or pretty lights) and "more" (as in more slides, more blow up snowman, more running, more tickling)

Happy holidays to all!

Friday, December 16, 2005

Monday, December 12, 2005

A rose by any other name...

This past week Mster has decided its time to start calling me Mama. Its awesome. Now its not used all the time but its used. At first we had a little confusion and Cdawg was also Mama but I think she's got us differentiated now. Yeah Mster!!!

It was very sweet today to pick her up from a friends house. The door opened and the look on Msters face when she saw it was me was so precious. Then the little Mamas that came from her mouth could have melted my heart.

Can anyone translate this?

Wada...wada...waga...walalalala repeated over and over again on the way to pick up Cster from school.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Has it really been 4 days?

It was brought to my attention that I haven't posted in awhile. So here goes:

1. I wasn't going to post anything about this for fear that the perpetrator would one day read my blog and I would feel bad but the story needs to be said. A little over a week ago I babysat for a sick baby. (not the 4 year old) His mama was desperate and had to go to work so I reluctantly said yes. She swore that her kid wasn't sick. It was obvious only 5 minutes after she left that yes, her kid was sick and I spend the next 4 hours wiping his snot ridden face. I felt for the little guy. I wouldn't want to just sit there and have to wait for somebody to wipe the snot dripping from my nose. A few days later Mster started showing signs of sickness and it was also soon apparent that she was ill also. Then friday I woke up and realized that I had contracted the dang thing too. Erg!!! I hate being sick and I was just sick. Why are the sick people out to get me?

2. In my sick induced daze that was yesterday I received a lovely package in the mail from Immigration. It seems that it is time for another interview. This time I get to go to Montreal. My brain could not handle this yesterday. I was flipping out. Somehow I was responsible for getting myself to Montreal on Jan. 25 at 9:30 AM. Erg!! Yeah for my mama who is going to rearrange her schedule and meet me there to help with Mster. Yeah for mini-vacations.

3. I didn't realize it was possible but the Cster broke his toothbrush approximately 30 minutes after I came home from the store on friday. The head broke off. Stop brushing so vigourously Cster.

4. I've gotten lots of questions regarding this cold. Seems people are a little interested in its possibilities. Here are some comments/questions I've heard today:

a) So you have a cold?
Is it just a cold?
Is it just a cold that you have?
b) After announcing that I wanted to throw up.
c) Is it the same thing Mster has/had?

So for all you nosy people out there (and I say that with the utmost regards :) ) I have a cold, period. I may have experienced significant sickness for 9 months about 16 months ago but this is a cold. Period.

5. In my drug induced state on friday night while lying in bed I talked myself into thinking that the duet betwee Ernie and Peabo Bryson on Sesame Street that morning was one of the best songs I'd ever heard. I still kind of believe myself. I'm still sort of drugged up.

And now I bid you adieu to escape to my bed o'blankets and pillows. Aaah.....

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Show Me the Poo!

Today I babysat a 4 year old girl, I'll call her G--. Mster needed a diaper change and so I started to tell Mster that we needed to go to her room. Here is the conversation that ensued.

G--: does she have a stinky diaper?

Burrito: Yes, she does.

G--: What's it full of?

Burrito: What?

G--: What's it full of?

Burrito: Poo.

G--: No, its Poop.

Burrito: Okay, poop.


Burrito: Huh?!?


Burrito: If you really want to see we're going to her room to change the diaper now.

Exodus to the bedroom. Mster is on the change table and I'm in the midst of changing her.

G--: (climbed on the first shelf of the change table) SHOW ME THE POOP!! SHOW ME THE POOP!! SHOW ME THE POOP!!

Burrito: Here it is.

And that's the end of that story. I was so disappointed in its anti-climatical ending. She got down off the change table and went back to playing with toys. But when she was talking earlier it had the exuberance of Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry McGuire.


Wednesday, December 07, 2005


Mster's big thing to say right now is "stuck". She gets herself into situations where she can't move and then looks at me and says "stuck". I always answer "are you stuck?" To which she answers, "uh, duh, mom, that's why I just said stuck". Well that's what I envision her saying but really she just repeats stuck. I mean lets be honest she can't even say mommy yet.

So right now I'm stuck. I have given all of my gift ideas for Cster away. And now I'm stuck for an idea for him. I finally got a great idea from my neighbour and I went out the next day to purchase it only to have Mster dig it out for all to see. So, now I'm back to square one. Help!!! oh and he reads this so anything you say will have to be in code. I guess a better idea would be to just have the Cster not read the comments.


Now many of you will say, "silly burrito, of course he will read the comments and you will remain at square one forever". But you would be wrong. I have faith in the Cster. I know he loves surprizes and he will not read them.


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Holiday Eating Tips

I got this in the mail today and realized that maybe we do need a few tips for mass Christmas food consumption

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

I always eat the carrot sticks. In fact, once at Denny's when I was a wee lass I asked for a side of carrots instead of fries. Bring on the carrots.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

The idea of drinking anything with egg in it sounds repulsing. I hate eggnog purely for the fact that it does have egg in the name. Well, I think I have drank it once (maybe twice) and I'm sure I didn't like it. Maybe it has something to do with my white dairy issue*.

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

I do like gravy. mmm...

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

I do like mashed potatoes too. mmm...I would prefer not to know either way if there was whole milk or skim. (Back to the white dairy issue) because I would rather eat my potatoes in ignorant bliss.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your neating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

I think that you shouldn't stop yourself from eating at all during the holidays. If your hungry before you go to the party, eat. If not, don't. If you're eating so you don't eat as much at the party lets get real, you will still eat lots. mmm...carrot sticks.

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll nee after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

Whatever, carrying around a 10-pound plate of food is exercise.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.


8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

Well, I can think of lots of time I get good desert and can't think of lots of time when I get turkey and mashed potatoes and yummy gravy and stuffing. You can have my dessert, just leave the plate o'turkey in front of me.

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it\'s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.


10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.


* Since I can remember I can not eat white dairy in any sort of creamy or solid form. Its disgusting. This includes but is not limited to: plain yogurt, cottage cheese, sour cream, anything but skim milk, cream cheese. Now as soon as these items are mixed with other food I'm okay. So strawberry yogurt, (cottage cheese is just out), onion dip, etc. I'm fine with. I think it all stems from my idea as a youngin that white dairy reminded me of fat. I thought it was like eating fat directly. Now I just can't eat it and I know that there's no fat in it. (ie fat free plain yogur, sour cream)

Monday, December 05, 2005

Brr...Why is it so Cold?

Dear Maintenance Workers,

Its nice that you come to my house and fix broken things. I do appreciate it. I'm not sure what exactly you are doing with the backyard but you came on friday (after a weeks absence) and dug more of the sidewalk up. Perhaps you noticed while working that it was chilly. I think you did because when I went to take out the garbage in my sandals and no coat you were bundled up really well. This is why I was shocked this morning when I went to take the garbage out again to notice that you left the back door open and the lights on in the basement. Now I have to admit I thought our back door was a bit chillier than I remembered it getting last year but I just chalked it up to a bad memory and put a pillow to block the cold air. i can understand forgetting to turn off a light, who hasn't? But, why wouldn't you close the back door? I don't even know when you are coming to be able to keep a watch out for when you may or may not close it in the future.

So please, its all I ask you, SHUT THE DARN DOOR when you are done!!!


Saturday, December 03, 2005

I love the Botanical Gardens!

I do not love the crazy fish that are at the Botanical Gardens. I call them mutant fish. People can feed them from a 25cent vending machine and everybody says "well, its only 25cents and I got in for free so why not?" and so these fish live to be fed. They are MONGO HUGE and there are tons of them. There are also ducks that eat right out of the fishes mouth. CRAZY!!!

photo curtesy of

Friday, December 02, 2005

Its time to elect a new Prime Minister

Canadians are going to the voting booths sometime in January (I can't remember the exact date and I'm too lazy to go back and find out). So here is a great opportunity to learn a little bit about government in Canada.

Federal electorates are called ridings. In the riding where you reside you are responsible for voting for which candidate you want to represent you in parliament. They are called members of parliament (mps) and are usually affiliated with a party. At the end of voting day they count up all the ballots and determine who will lead each riding. The leader of the party with the most ridings becomes the Prime Minister.

Elections occur whenever the current Prime Minister decides they are going to happen but they have to occur at least every 5 years. The last election occurred sometime between August 2004 and June 2005 (again I remember voting but I'm too lazy to go back and check exact dates). In that election the winning party (the Liberals) gained the most ridings but still had a minority in the government making any sort of effectiveness impossible. Amidst scandal and a growing lack of confidence the other parties bullied the Liberals into calling a new election.

There are 4 major parties right now in Canada. The Liberals, the Conservatives, the NDP (National Democratic Party) and the Bloc Quebecois (free Quebec). I find it fascinating that a party whose main goal is to have Quebec separate is a major part of parliament. We have the pothead party and other side ones too and independents but they rarely get in.

So there you go. Elections are a coming. I can't wait to get up to Canada this Christmas and hear all the campaigning while chestnuts roast on our fire (note sarcasm).

Cster found a blog that seems to be giving a running commentary on the Campaigns. Check it out here.

A side note on our elections:
Last election I was registered to vote in my parents riding. I did not want to drive all the way down there so I went to my local riding voting place showed them my drivers license and they registered me right there to vote (with no computers, just a little white haired woman with a ruler, a pen and a highlighter and a big wad of paper with everybodies name on it.) They hadn't me my card and I went and voted. After the process I realized that Cster while not Canadian had a valid drivers license and if we weren't such good law abiding folk he probably could have gotten a voter card too. And if I so desired I probably could have gone to my parents riding and voted there too. Hmmm...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I want a Hippoptamus for Christmas

I just sent out our family Christmas list to the family and plan on writing my dream list on the blog shortly but I thought while you wait you might enjoy this.

And then there were 4...NO!!!!!!!!

So I'm pretty sure I found another tooth today. Holy teethcutting Mster. Where are you finding the time to do everything else you do in a day.

Conversation with Mster yesterday:

Me: Can you get your hat?

Mster: No

Me: Do you want your ball?

Mster: No

Me: Do you want some water?

Mster: No

Me: Let's read a good book.

Mster: No

Me: Its time to change your diaper.

Mster: No

And then the ultimate test to see if I could get her to say it one more time...

Me: Mster, do you want chocolate cake?

Mster: No

She does impress the Cster and I with her amazing going to bed abilities. As soon as I say the magical words "Mster its time for bed/nap." she jumps up from whatever she's doing (sometimes gives a little cheer), runs to Cster and gives him a kiss than proceeds to her bedroom where she reminds of all the things I may forget that are involved in bedtime. ie: blanket, soother (binky), heater, etc.

She also cracked me up yesterday when she picked up some old food on the floor. I said "Mster that's garbage give it to me" and she said "No" walked to the garbage can in the kitchen, took the lid off, put the garbage in, put the lid back on and then proceeded to try and lift the garbage can to the deep freezer. (I often do this after I put garbage in the bin from Mster since she likes to play with it).

Its very interesting to see the little neurons working away and remembering our repetitive patterns.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Interactive Wednesday - Mmm. Mmm. Good!

Tell us a recipe.

Now I realize this may be a little to domestic for you but I could use some change up in our kitchen so bring it on. The rules are prep. time can't be more than 30 minutes long (the shorter the better). That is the only rule.

My first recipe is:

Chocolate Chip Cookies (the best ever)

1. 3/4 cup granulated sugar
2. 3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
3. 1 cup butter, margarine, or like, softened
4. 1 tsp vanilla
5. 1 large egg
6. 2 1/4 cup flour
7. 1 tsp b. soda
8. 1/2 tsp salt
9. 1 bag (12 oz) semisweet chocolate chips

1. Heat oven to 375 (F not C)
2. Beat 1-5 in bowl.
3. Stir in 6-8
4. Add 9
5. Drop dough onto ungreased cookie sheet (about 1 1/2 inch balls)
6. Bake 8-10 minutes*
7. Cool 1 to 2 minutes, remove from cookie sheet to racks

*here is Squishy's secret to all that is great with cookies, NEVER cook cookies for the entire amount. DO NOT bake them for 10 minutes or they will NOT be the best ever. Cook your first sheet for 8 minutes and take them out. Even if they don't look done, they are. The next sheet should be no more than 8 minutes but maybe even 7 1/2 minutes. This is the way to get them soft. I promise.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


Mster has cut 3 teeth in the past week. I don't need sleep really. I like getting up for my day at 3AM. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Parallel Parking

To: the lady whose husband knew I was going to parallel park in front of them yet they didn't move their car backwards at all and then got out and watched me park to make sure I didn't hit your car.

You are very rude.

Fist clenching Squishy

Sunday, November 27, 2005

MOABC 2005 (aka Smart People Talking)

As a followup to my cry for help on Thanksgiving Eve here is a summary of our Mother of All Brain Conferences 2005.

Intro - Explanation of Name - relating to Eve, DNA and mitochondria.

1. Dster - Compases
An excellent presentation for numorous reasons mainly that we all got our very own compass. Let the record show that Cster chose the only pink one leaving me stuck with a black/navy blue compas. Much fun was had by all learning how to make perfect circles.

2. Maverlous - Stem Cell Research...its Not Your Brother's Kidney
An exploration of the stem cell debate with a gripping ending...YOU DECIDE! A question answered with the terms floaters and swimmers.

3. Mr. Kent - Computers and what IS going on in there
We all became different computer components and after 15 minutes of miscommunication we made a space. Not surprizingly we stopped after the space and thanked the computer geeks of the world for making a faster computer than us. (Of course we did not use the term geek so as not to offend)

4. Master (so as not to confuse with the Mster) - DNA Sequencing
Another power point presentation and more DNA discussion.

5. Moi - the Squishy Burrito - I just found a pancake in my pocket
I wrote the title a month earlier when surprize surprize I really did just find a pancake in my pocket. I discussed what a job description for a parent would look like. I was not impressed with my performance but was much glad when it was over.

6. Cster - Law...what is it good for..absolutely nothing.
Why talk about law when you can talk about the big bad government? How much power do they have anyway?

7. Milster - My life as the Mother of all Brains
Every child really is different and they each teach us different things. Apparently the Cster likes praise, 2 others like love, 1 proved that beyond a trial is a great blessing and 1 showed that God truly is looking out for us.

8. Filster - Top Secret
I was told a long time ago what the Filster was working on but that I couldn't tell a soul. Nobody ever told me it was okay so I'm not sure I can devulge his secrets. But its cool. Canada, you won't know what hit you.

9. Tster - The wonderful world of A/V
So I was wrong and he had 190 slides. It was awesome. Who would have guessed 190 slides would be so entertaining.

Oh the Memories...

The inlaws are home. The house is quiet. The leftovers have been eaten. Sadly the house is losing its trace of the great Thanksgiving 2005 of our family so here are some memorable moments for posterity.

1. Cster feeding 3 pieces of pumpkin pie to the Mster while I was taking a nap.

2. Mster vomiting pumpkin pie on my jacket (whilst I was wearing it).

3. The 24 gallon container they used to make stuffing.

4. The stuffing that was the first to get all eaten.

5. The 22 lb turkey that is already gone.

6. The attempt to incorporate my family's tradition of toothpicking link sausages to the turkey in the final hour.

7. The porcupine turkey that came out of the oven as the sausages were put on perpendicular. (on purpose)

8. Cster's indecent comment to only me about our turkey's need for some happy blue pills.

9. MOABC 2005 (more to come)

10. The Turkey Bowl and Cster's derriere that finally stopped oozing this morning. Road burn sucks.

11. Mster's need to follow the young Dster around the house constantly yelling Dihdih.

12. The Mster's quick acceptance of 7 new people in our home.

13. Apples to Apples hehehe

14. Mster's odd choice of which Thanksgiving feast item to enjoy.
Yeah - Stuffing (so that's wear it all went), shrimp cocktail sauce, cranberry salad, pumpkin pie (see number 2), leftover turkey
Nay - Mashed potatoes, whipping cream

15. 5 pies

16. The need to outvocabularize each other at the dinner table. (Is it syllabuses or syllabi?)

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

I have less than 24 hours and I'm flipping out!!

My in-laws are smart. Period. No need to explain. They just are. One of them who shall not be nameless (maverick, maverlous) thought it would be a great idea for everyone to present 10 minutes on what they are doing and learning about after our Thanksgiving feast. Believe me its a great idea. They are all doing super interesting and smart things. The only problem is that I am included in the 10 minute presentation each. AAHHH!!! And I haven't even started to put anything together. One of them has 119 slides. My milster is also in a bit of a panic and we thought we could combine our time and do a 20 minute dance medley. But I know she's humouring me and in the end she'll come out with something fabulous. She also stated that she figures that hers and mine will be the comic relief of the conference so now not only am I supposed to come up with something, its supposed to be funny. AAAHHHH!!!!!!

HELP!!!! Any ideas? Please, Pretty Please.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

9:00pm Baby!

Every morning the only thing that gets me out of bed (other than the yells and hollers of the Mster) is the promise that I make to myself that today I will take a nap while the Mster naps and tonight I will go to bed at 9pm. this happens almost everyday. At least one or the other options but usually both. Usually everyday neither happens and yet the next morning I still get myself up with this false hope.

Well. Today is different. I've got 10 minutes left and by golly (yes, by golly) I am going to do it.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

I Got Free Stuff in the Mail!!!

Everyday I patiently await the mail. I get so excited to open the door, look to the left and see if Mr. Mailman has dropped wonderful goodies at my door. A few days ago I looked out my window sadly to see nothing. (This actually happens a few times a week so no need to rally the troops against the post office) I went back to my daily duties of book reading, tickling and singing. Later in the day Mster and I got ready to leave. We opened the door and much to our amazement and glee Mr. Mailman had delivered a wonderful surprize that didn't even fit in our mailbox. Daring One, YOU ROCK!!! I wish I could take a picture (the batteries are kaput) but its a one of a kind (at least that's what I'm telling myself) JUMBO tape dispenser. I know its JUMBO because the package tells me so. There will be no need to hunt for the tape this festive season. This tape dispenser will be impossible to lose. Its awesome and I do plan on taking pictures of me using it in the future.

I also enjoyed Mster "tickling" me whilst I tried to put on her pajamas in her crib. She was lying down in the crib, hand out the railing swiping at my leg while giggling uncontrollably. It actually took me a second to realize what she was doing. But then I played along. "Oh Mster your tickling me. Stop. Stop. Its so ticklish. Your making me laugh". To which she giggled more and swiped more.

I caught Mster stealthily hiding her dinner sometimes right before my very eyes. Guerrilla warfare is definately not her strong point. Here's how it works (well doesn't work):

1) take piece of food you don't want to eat.
2) maneuver your arm so you can get it under your high chair.
3) drop it.
4) look the other way.
5) repeat steps 1-4

Funny thing is there is a ton of food right under her high chair but she can't see it. Funnier is when she does it while looking at me.

Happy Birthday Matt.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

I am a Terrible Mother and Other Musings of My Day

1) I tucked Mster in for her nap, left to do groceries and returned only to find Cster asleep in the rocker with a very bundled Mster sleeping in his lap. I later found out that Mster woke up 45 min after I left shivering to death. I had not turned the heat in her room. I am a terrible mother. Public Flogging in 15 minutes.

2) Mster and I listened to Popcorn Popping a recorded 21 times today (by Mster's boisterous request). You can listen to it here if you want to partake of the fun.

3) Cster wore his winter coat for the first time this season. Cold has become us.

4) We have NO heat. :( Workers are still "slaving" away in our basement and the heat can not be turned on. We are living off of space heaters (refer to note 1).

5) Mster is petrified of space heaters unless they are in her room. If we try and hook one up in any other room she freaks out and starts crying.

6) I did all the Thanksgiving shopping (well, almost all) this afternoon. Check out the load.

7) Because I was cold I decided to wear my warmest clean socks which happened to be white. My outfit however was only condusive to black shoes so today I committed a fashion faux pas.

Luckily I looked like this for most of the day.

8) Today I delivered homemade soup to my surgery recovering friend and she gave me oodles of Canadian chocolate. She rocks!!!

9) Mster likes to play with this toy at 6:30AM in the morning. It involves hammering a ball and watching it go through a maze of loud rows. She's gotten very good and fast at it. Thank you Fishfrog.

10) only 24 hours till I travel in our magic car to Hogwarts.

11) Today in the car Cster announced how he had worked hard on me and how happy he was with my progress. I now like Linkin Park and will listen to his hip hop station but then he said that sometimes he feels like he has so much more work to do. Coincidentally I was belting out a Leann Rimes hit at the time.

12) Somehow Mster had no problem when I dropped her off to play at a friends house so that I could prepare for the MOABC 2005 yet I can't go to the bathroom or take a shower without constant knocking and crying. Hmm...

That is all.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Landlord, you Crack me Up!

Here is the latest list of items finished in my house since 3 men in suits came to visit me.

1) 1 dug up sidewalk (our sidewalk looks like a bomb exploded)

2) all the drains cleared (supposedly)

3) a new waterheater for the neighbours

4) loss of water, return of water

5) caulking on the bathtub. caulking washed away on the bathtub

6) a big hole in the cement basement, pipes fixed, new cement in the basement

7) a fruit fly investation

8) Crazy tree in the front yard taken down

9) Coffee cup is gone

and last but not least the reason for all this "extra" work.

9) A ROOM TORN DOWN (I can not confirm this as I heard a ton of banging about an hour ago but I haven't had a chance to go down and make sure its really down.

Interactive Wednesday - Suspended

I'm sorry Interactive Wednesday but you are suspended. You didn't do anything wrong. You are a wonderful addition to my wednesdays and please know its not you, its me. I'm just kind of busy now and I have another cold and my idea for today involves getting out of this chair and going into the kitchen and my poor body just can't do it today. And so you will be suspended until the wednesday after thanksgiving where we will review the situation before re-initiating your comeback.

I am ever so sorry to Fishfrog who changed Tax Wedneday to Tax Tuesday just for me. I promise it was not in vain.

Monday, November 14, 2005

What is Wrong with My Blog?

Does anyone know why my template all of a sudden decide to shift my right column down a mile?

Does anyone know how to fix it?

Napoleon Dynamite Size Dilemma

For all you Pedro fans Daring One has a clutter and moral problem. Check it out here.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

I am Victorious!

Today was a NO yogurt day. I am Victorious!

I did however realize that in addition to teaching the Mster how to say spit that she was taught the actions as well. We now have a 15 month old that can spit on command. What mother wouldn't be proud?

Saturday, November 12, 2005

I lost again!

It looked like I was going to come out victorious but alas I lost my battle with Mster and yogurt today. It seems that Mster is obsessed with plain full fat yogurt. She must have it once a day. Preferably at dinner. Today I was armed and ready. I had leftover lasagna that I knew she loved. I had oranges. I had grapes. The lasagna went over well. The oranges even better. But it was while I was presenting the grapes that I believe Mster caught onto my attack plan. (namely to fill her up before she realized she hadn't had yogurt) She refused the grapes and anything else and I was forced to get out the tub of white dairy and fill up her measuring cup so she could happily slurp away.

A few days ago the Cster took Mster outside to play whilst I was putting away groceries. In the 10 minutes I left them alone Cster had taught Mster 2 new words.

Sti- stick
Spi- spit (followed by peels of laughter)

So now our 15month old daughter can say spit and not mommy. Ugh!!!!

Friday, November 11, 2005

My subconscious is SOOO Smart!

A few weeks ago while reading a friends blog I noticed she was in a book club. Always trying to find an interesting read and not yet initiating my Interactive Wednesday...I just read a great book I decided to check it out at the library.

Much to my amazing suprize it was a story about 2 Dutch women who were a part of the underground rescuers during Nazi Germany. I love learning about Nazi Germany. I'm fascinated by it. I'm obsessed with understanding the whole concept of annihilation and what would posess a race to do so. I had however not read anything about rescuers. (Actually thats not true I read the Diary of Anne Frank in 6th grade) I was hooked. I loved reading about rescuers and I found 2 other books of which I am on the second one.

Then, today, I took Mster to the library to return some books only to find it was closed. Its Veterans Day! This was great. Veterans day is the same day as Rememberance day in Canada. Ever since high school I have always watched at least one WWII movie with Nazi's on Remembrance day eve. I had totally forgotten the day was coming. But alas my subconscious is SOOOO smart and while we have no WWII movies here and I did not watch one last night I did read my book and I do plan on reading more of it tonight. I love traditions.

Happy Veterans Day! Happy Remembrance Day!

Way to go MSN Search!

I would like to take this moment to officially thank MSN Search for supporting my blog.

If you type any of the following search queries my blog comes up:

1) Squishy

2) Where is Thumkin (I guess it pays to misspell) :)

3) Larakeet

What shall I do?

Maybe I'll write a fantastic post today or maybe I won't.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

I've Opened Pandora's Box!

So far our home has been graced by 2 contractors and 4 property management maintenance personel on 2 different occasions.

1st Occasion: The Plumber
This suprized me because they never told me they were going to get a plumber. I think this also suprized the plumber when he eventually came knocking on the door asking what in the world was leaking and why was he there. (he had already been downstairs for 15 minutes) I told him the problem (nothing to do with plumbing, I thought) but suggested while he was there that he check out the pipes as we do have pools of water sporadically in our basement. He found some interesting stuff and property management people came.

So we may, or may not, get the following done: (in addition to the mold issue)

a) a new water heater
b) a new shower door
c) new faucets

2nd visit: A concrete contractor
Apparently the Environmental people did come and determined that our sidewalk needed to be fixed. The sidewalk guy talked to me for 1/2 hour (if anybody would like to know sidewalk guys life history, I know it) and toured the basement (I should start charging money) and found a bunch of other stuff. Crazy.

So tomorrow morning sidewalk guy and his workers are going to bring their jackhammers and sledgehammers and probably other hammers and tear up the entire sidewalk and put in a new one.

Let the construction begin...

Interactive Wednesday - Look Ma, No Hands!

I'm glad the last few interactive wednesdays have been such a huge hit. The first installment of Corner Gas was viewed chez moi (we missed you Fuzzy) and the DVD has already landed in the paws of Maverick. All is well in Saskatchewan.

Interactive Wednesday is going to be another show and tell this week. Well more of a tell if you must be so exact. There are so many things that I don't know about you. And so today lets share a little. Now don't panic. Your identities need not be revealed. And remember you write the comments so you have full say on what we hear.

I thought we could share a little about our accomplishments. Those things that make us proud of our past but then I started laughing and laughing. Who wants to hear about those things. We want the gruesome, funny details of your life. So do you have a talent? A stupid human trick by chance. Have you done anything rather odd?

Here's mine:

1) I can say the alphabet backwards in under 5 seconds. I am usually clocked at 3 seconds.

2) I did concert security for the Back Street Boys, NSync, Matchbox 20 and a big outdoor concert. For those that know me this is quite humourous considering the fact that I don't necessarily give off the "cross me and you die" aura. My entire orientation and training involved getting an id badge and being handed a black shirt with SECURITY written in white. I'm sure all my clients felt extremely safe. My favourite moment was watching the lead singer drive around in a golf cart while concert officials/admin tried to chase him down because he was supposed to be on stage. My least favourite part was when the Back Street Boys mean big bodyguard yelled at me backstage.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

You Go Girl!

While driving home today I looked at Mster only to see her digging. She was working it all the way up to her first little baby knuckle.

Reading Time at the Library

Today I took the Mster to the library for a baby (0-2yrs old) reading time. I've gone before. Usually it is a bunch of moms with their 1 or 2 children sitting on the floor listening to the librarian read stories. There is also music and clapping and lots of random walking about. Usually I would say 15 kids at the max.

But, today was a little different. Another group came in. They were either preschool or daycare group with 40 kids. 40KIDS!!! It was very crowded. But here is where the situation got interesting. I started to observe the difference between these 2 groups. The daycare kids sat there quietly. Some with blank stares just hanging out. Some obviously enjoying the entertainment but still sitting. Almost all of the other babies (with their moms there) were much more active. They stood up. They wandered. They clapped when they weren't told to clap. They danced when the music came on. (The daycare kids did get up and clap when the music came on bu their leaders quickly told them to sit down, which they all did magically).

So, why the difference? And which is better? The kids were obviously well behaved. My mster rushed the librarian and had a complete conversation with her including pointing feverishly at the book. None of these kids rushed the librarian.


Monday, November 07, 2005

Goodbye Diapers!

Today Mster and I got rid of all her old diapers. (not dirty, but old diapers) We had a big farewell party with Mster waving madly to her old chums and repeatedly telling them bye.

Don't go thinking we're into potty training already. Its not that big a day. Today Mster moved up to size 4 diapers and we were bidding a grand farewell to the size 3. You see for the past few weeks we've been noticing a lot of plumbing* going on around the house and I knew it wasn't my diapering abilities this time and finally just realized they were too small for her.

So off we went to purchase bigger diapers. (a big conspiracy is that the bigger the diaper you get the less diapers you get in the container) and now Mster is decent.

*plumbing: from the Cster's dictionary, "to plumb". To show one's butt crack while bending over.

Mster's Dictionary 1.1 (and a small bit on "the Man")

Mster's Dictionary:

Bahble: bubble
bahday: banana
baw: ball
doodee: cookie, I honestly don't know how she knows this. I would never give my 15 month old cookies. :)
Dahdee: Elmo


I really thought I might be overposting on "the Man". I figured people were probably at the point that if I wrote one more ranting post without actually taking anybody's advice they would revolt and boycott. But alas, I recieved a request for an update and by golly just a few short hours ago an update was experienced to be written about.

First off, thanks to all those who gave suggestions. Really I'm a wimp at heart and the thought of calling a tv news people consumer report scared the guts right out of me. I mean I don't want my tv debut to be me, unbrushed hair, holding a baby, crying about my basement. My tv debut shoudl be me singing a Christmas special with famous musicians*. A thanks also goes out to Annonymous, who although will not reveal himself/herself (which drives me absolutely crazy with a little syndrome I like to call "I NEED TO KNOW!!!", gave a great suggestion of government health people. And I looked into it I really did but it looked like I would be involving myself in other "the Man"s and I was frightened.

So I decided over the weekend to write a letter to the company and copy it to the University since we are in offcampus housing. I called up the U and asked who I needed to send it to and was told to just talk to him instead. It was el presidente of the company. Not el presidente of the U (although that would have been an interesting phone call). After talking to el presidente I was told that he was disturbed and would call me back by the end of the day. Yeah, said I. (I know I'm a sucker) 15 minutes later there were 3 men in suits in my basement. Another 15 minutes later and I was shaking hands with el presidente himself, the head maintenance guy, and the maintenance supervisor of my area. They told me all the things they were going to do and then gave me their info so that I could call them directly for followups if I needed to. Hallelujah!
Production/destruction commences early next week.

*oh wait, I already did that. Winter of 87'88 baby. Me, my 4th grade choir, and Air Supply singing Christmas Carols in Olympic Plaza for the whole nation.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

If I Was Your Tour Guide in Banff!

We would arrive in Banff and immediately hike Suphur Mountain. It is not too long (maybe 2 hours), we'd have lunch and then we would take the Gondola down. (If you ride up its 20$CAN, if you ride down its free.) On the ride down or during the hike I would tell you about the sulphur hot pools that you can go in. You will tell me that you forgot your bathing suit and I will reassure you that you can rent them there. You will look at me like I am on Mars and we will never discuss renting bathing suits again, ever.

Then we would have lunch. I always say we'll have lunch at the top but its always windy. So we never do. Instead we will spend a total of 10 minutes on the top, realise how darn windy it really is and rush for the gondola. Then we will either eat lunch at some picnic table or go to Lake Minnewanka. I will tell you the story about the Elk that came charging towards us one time while I was there and the crazy tourists who did not take their kids and run but instead grabbed them and threw them closer to the Elk to get a good picture

After Lake Minnewanka I will assess your needs. Are you a shopper or an explorer? If you are a shopper we will go here:

You will be able to purchase anything your heart desires at only 200% the cost of buying it anywhere else. You will however get to see "the Candy Store" and "Lush".

If you are into exploring I would take you here:

The picture may be small but its the Banff Springs Hotel. Here we will try and get as far was we can into the hotel without getting caught. Its pretty fun. I will tell you about the haunted rooms and how I ate my first, and only, escargot there during a french field trip.

After our adventures in shopping or trespassing we would get in the car and head to Lake Louise. I love Lake Louise. The lake is green and amazing. I will dazzle you with my trivia knowledge that "the Shining" was filmed there.

Lake Louise doesn't take very long. So I would then surprise you and say while Lake Louise is awesome there is a lesser known touristy lake that is even better. We would take the short drive to Moraine Lake.

Then I would dazzle you with more of my trivia knowledge and tell you that it is actually Moraine Lake that is on the 20$ Canadian bill.

After Moraine Lake we would make the trip back to Calgary revelling in the Rocky Mountain beauty. I love it!!!!

Sidenote: I stole all these pictures off the web. They are not mine and you can't use them with my permission because I have none (permission, that is).

Saturday, November 05, 2005


It turns out that only about 12% of my readership is coming from Canada. I feel that this number could definately be boosted. And so I have decided that I'm going to try initiating a little CanCon on my blog.

What is CanCon?
For those who want an official answer you can go here. But the gist of it is that I need to put 33% (or is it 30%?) of my blog full of Canadian content. This will make Candians more likely to read my blog because I will have more things that they can relate to. I don't know how it works but the Canadian government says it will and who am I to argue.

How will CanCon be implemented on my blog?
Very carefully. (well not really) Everyonce in a while I will randomly pick a Canadian topic/person/location/etc. and discuss.

How will CanCon be measured on my blog so that it is at least 33% (or 30%)?
It won't.

Good Night, eh!

Is that Purple or Indigo?

I just wanted to say that I definately think I detected an indigo aura around Mster this morning? Eerie...

Friday, November 04, 2005

The Webster and Mster Dictionary

Websters Dictionary:

Pronunciation: pr&-'bä-s&s, -'bäs-k&sFunction: nounInflected Form(s): plural -bos·cis·es also pro·bos·ci·des /-'bä-s&-"dEz/Etymology: Latin, from Greek proboskis, from pro- + boskein to feed

1 a : the trunk of an elephant; also : any long flexible snout b : the human nose especially when prominent2 : any of various elongated or extensible tubular processes (as the sucking organ of a butterfly) of the oral region of an invertebrate

Mster's Dictionary:

Tees: toes
Bahday: banana, bagel
DaaaaaaDeeeeeee: daddy
Duhdeee: ducky
B'Dahdee: bye daddy
Bye: bye
Hi: hi
Why: I want that. I want to give you this.
No: I am done eating and you have less than a second to acknowledge me before I start throwing food on the floor.
Uh Oh: I fell. You fell. I almost fell. You almost fell. I dropped something. You dropped somthing. You pushed a little hard on the brakes.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Where is Tall Man?

Not to be confused with "the Man".

A few days ago I was sitting in a circle with a bunch of other moms and their tots. It was sing-a-long time. After a great rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star the leader suggested Where is Thumkin. Here's how it went:

"Where is Thumbkin? "Where is Thumbkin?" (hands are behind your back)
"Here I am." (Right hand comes forward revealing the thumb)
"Here I am." (Left hand comes forward revealing the thumb)
"How are you today sir?" (right thumb speaking and moving in an up and down motion)
"Very well I thank you." (left thumb speaking and moving in an up and down motion)
"Run and hide" (Right hand goes behind back)
"Run and hide" (Left hand goes behind back)

This sounds harmless doesn't it? Well the song goes on with pointer. And then the song moves on to Tall Man.

When its Tall Man's turn you have a bunch of mom's with children in their laps giving each other the finger. Some mom's hold up two fingers to try and eleviate the awkwardness. Some mom's proudly raise Tall Man and, I think, sing just a little louder and other mom's just glance back and forth to their neighbours cowering as they wish this verse was over.

Aah good times at play group...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Interactive Wednesday - I just read a GREAT book!

Well I really just reread a book that I LOVED!!! I think that everybody should read it and so Interactive Wednesday is finding out what other books people loved and feel that others should read too.

Give the name of the book.
The Author.
A short synopsis.
Why you like it.

Here's mine: (I know a lot of you have already read it but I really want everybody who hasn't read it to hear about it):

Life of Pi
by Yann Martel
A young indian boy finds himself floating on the Pacific on a raft with a Bengal Tiger, a Zebra, an Orangutan and another animal I can't remember.
First, of Martel is Canadian. Yeah!!! Second, the book made me think like no other. In fact a year later I am still thinking about it. That's what a good book does.

I look forward to getting a new library list from everybody.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Propaganda and Torture

I spent many minutes today explaining to the Mster why putting our fingers in other people's noses is not fun. It was usually interupted with her putting her finger in my nose. The Cster witnessed it all.

Shortly thereafter the Cster decided it would be hilarious to pin me down and encourage the Mster to poke in my nose with her finger. She loved it. I did not.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!

I realized what a lucky girl I am today. I get applause almost daily. Other than some entertainers how many people can say that?

Almost every day Mster gives me an enthusiastic clap for different tasks that I accomplish. Today it was wisking the egg in preparation of pancakes. Yesterday it was my amazing dancing moves. I tell you this girl knows talent.

Monday, October 31, 2005

My Attack Against "the Man" - the Saga Continues

For those of you familiar with my rantings on "the man" you will be interested to note that at 9AM this morning Mster and I were interrupted by a knock on our door by the contractor. Strange, thought I, since "the man" told me the environmental people were coming tomorrow and they were not allowed to do anything to the basement until testing was done. Hmmm...interesting. Yet, here was another man (not 'the man") claiming he was called to rip up our floor. I was flabbergasted What should I do?

1. I first called my neighbour. Her husband does shift work and so he might be home to come over and inspect the work. Rats he wasn't home.

2. Call the Cster. Cster said to call "the man" and let em' have it. Oh I really did not want to do this. I hate calling "the man". "The man" is never there and inevitably I get "the front woman". so I opted for...

3. Go downstairs and tell the workers to send their boss my way when they were done. Of course ma'am they said. And so Mster and I aborted our plans and hung out at home all morning. After awhile I realized I could not hear any noises downstairs. Surely they didn't finish and not come see me, thought I. I went down to investigate and the basement was...EMPTY!!!! There were however noticable signs that somebody had been there.

a) the randomly placed objects around my basement that were taken from the room.

b) the dehumidifier that was left down there, unplugged and nowhere near the now torn up room.

c) the torn up floor

d) the smell of mud

e) the remaining mud that they could not get off the floor and stairs.

f) a disposable coffee cup sitting on the table

This led me to believe I had no choice but goto option 2. Erg!!!

2...continued...Ring Ring Ring...How may I direct your call? moment...Hello, you have reached the voicemail box of "the front woman"...hang up.

Second try
Ring Ring Ring...How may I direct your call?, click, click...dial tone.

Third try
Ring Ring Ring...How may I direct your call? moment...
Hi this is "front woman"...hallelujah (not spoken) - hi this is the burrito calling from address about the mold in the basement

oh yes...well I'm calling because I don't understand how a man could come and tear out the floor when you told me that nothing could be done till the environmental guy came and that was supposed to be tomorrow

hold on for a sec, (I hold on much longer than a sec)

ma'am the environmental guy did come and everything is fine so we went ahead with tearing it down... (hmm, something seems fishy) when did he come?

this morning...well I never saw him and I didn't let him in

well he must have done his testing outside ma'am...why would he do his testing outside when the mold is on the basement floor?

hold on one sec - our guy let him in and they found nothing and so we went ahead... how did your guy let him in when you can only get in through the apartment and I didn't let him in?

our guy let him in ma' you don't understand I was here all morning nobody came in

he let him in the back...ugh!!!you can't get to the basement from the back

well they did and the testings done...fine. what about the basement. there's a dehumidifier and other things down there what am I supposed to do with them?

hold on a second ma'am - you don't do anything we will come back and doing stuff with it, (That was me doing the clicking).

What is going on? Am I crazy?

What Candy?

This will be my answer to Cster's question "Where is the Halloween candy?" when he gets home today.

Simple Pleasures in Life

It is the simple pleasures that get me through my day.

For instance today I pleasure in my perfect stacking of the clean dishes to dry.

Did you notice my next pleasure. Dinner!!! Its made and cooking. All done. At 6:30pm I will not be asking myself what should we have for dinner. Aah simple pleasures.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I made the Coolest Pumpkin

I really did. But first off I have to apologize to all of my readers for fishfrogmonkeyman's blog. Please be forewarned there is a very disturbing picture on the site. (I realize you now feel obligated to go check it out but I really did warn you Fishyman is scantily dressed.) I have to admit I was at the party where said costume was worn. But he did wear shorts most of the night and when he took them off I averted my eyes. To be honest most of the night my nose was busy focusing on this...

Its a little difficult to see what it is but its a castle. A haunted castle.

But before all of this funfilled activity I got a tatoo...

Mster, feeling the need to do everything I do, got this one...

Let me tell you it was a very exciting night.

Could Somebody Please Explain DST to the Mster?

While you are all snuggled up in your warm bed the Mster and I are hanging out. She woke up at 4:30 AM and hasn't gone back to bed. Now you may think that putting her down an hour later (not b/c of DST but because of a Halloween party) would make her sleep in an hour therefore eliminating DST issues but no, this isn't so. See, more often than not (read everytime) Mster goes to bed later than her 6pm bedtime, she wakes up at some horribly early hour. And so now we are off to read more books, eat more cheerios and tear up the house.

PS - I even broke the house rule of no TV on Sunday. (When its 5AM you struggle for anything to amuse the child) Do you know that the only think on during Sunday morning are 2 paid programs and a gospel program. This makes me more sad that it is so early they haven't even started the cartoons.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Grade 10 Social with Mr. T.

This post was inspired by Daring One's confession that she misses me in person. Aaah. I miss her too.

I met Daring One during Grade 10 Social (translate - junior year social studies) with Mr. T. I can't believe we only had 1 year together Daring One but oh what a year. Mr. T. was a great teacher. I really loved his class.

Reason #1:
Daring One was there (along with a few others one I will name, hair flipper). There was copious amount of note passing. Passing between each other. Passing for others in other classes. Passing for others in other schools. Just a stupid amount of notes. I wish I had kept them for our reading enjoyment. But a main topic of our notes within class is my Reason #2.

Reason #2:
Poor Mr. T. had a very large BO problem. He stunk. It was soooo bad. We trembled when he made his way over to our desks and when he leaned over to help us out with a problem all we could do was hold our breath and nod or shake our heads. I remember when he left the room once and a plan was devised. Somebody said they would bring in a glade freshener for the classroom the next day if somebody offered to distract him so she could plug it in. Because, when you have a stinky man in a room all day with 100's of other stinky highschoolers you have the rankest room possible.

Reason #3
The Alberta Education people devised a way to segregate classes by academic ability. If you just wanted to graduate highschool and didn't really care about college you took the "Subject" 13, 23, 33 route. If you wanted to go to college you took "Subject" 10, 20, 30. I don't know why the smarties got the lower number. Maybe its because they wanted the others to feel more important. Thing is unless you were obviously not going to college everybody took "Subject" 10. So our Social 10 class was filled with such an eclectic bunch of people ranging from ultimate geek to ultimate class clown. After the first year (10) a lot of people get weeded out and put in 23 instead of 20. I hope this makes sense. All of my 10 classes were pretty crazy. So much class chaos. But Social 10 was the best. Mr. T. was so easy going. Although I do remember a few red faces. (Daring One back me up)

So those are my reasons for loving Social 10.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

And the Winner is...

Well, this was the hardest choice ever. Seriously. Then I got to thinking about the spirit of Interactive Wednesday and a solution slowly began to form in my mind. I really want EVERYBODY to enjoy Corner Gas and I really want people to enjoy the free giveaway.

So here's what I'm thinking. (Remember its the spirit of Interactive Wednesday. Aren't we all winners? I mean your comments were fantastic)

Miss Maverick gets the original free giveaway. She views it. She loves it. She shares with it with Firefly boy and she wins the "who's cooler" contest. Here's where we break the giveaway rules a little bit. Instead of keeping her free gift she brings it back to me (no stay with me for a minute) when we both participate in "The Mother of All Brains 2005 Conference". I then take it to GG during the yuletide season whilst I travel to the land where this all started. GG watches it and when I return she gives it back to me. I then mail it to Daring Young Mom.

Now Jess, Amanda and Teddo, fear not I have NOT left you out. You see the only reason we could have said contest was because Cster owns the actual full season one and season two dvd sets (those are really his) and we would love to have you over to enjoy our "well kept house" and marathon with Brent, Lacey and Hank all night long. Teddo you can pour the DCs. Amanda and Jess can bring the tasty refreshments (along with myself) and we will supply the coveted entertainment and blankets and pillows and couches.

I realize this is not what people expected when free giveaway started. A gift was promised. A gift you could keep. But, I think and feel that this is the ultimate best solution. Everybody would get to see it and what more could anyone ask for.

PS - Maverick, I'm sure you have DVDR capabilities what with your connections. Need I say more?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Hodge Podge

The contest is still on but I thought I would add 3 humourous things that happened to me to my blog whilst the competition continues.

1. I saw who may be the least smartest person in the world at the Social Security office yesterday while applying for a # for the Mster. You walk in. You get metal detected and then you go to a button, push it and magically a number appears. This is the number that they will use to call you. (I'm sure many of you have seen this system before. It is fairly common). After taking my number, Mster and I began to walk around the office waiting "198" to be called. I saw a woman who kept pushing and pushing the button. Finally a guard walked over and said, "Ma'am. They are in sequential numbers. You aren't going to get a better one." She looked at him and said, "Are you serious? Man, this is going to take forever" and then proceeded to take the last number she took out and sit down leaving all the original numbers she pushed for still sitting there. True Story.

2. You know somebody does not have children when...
Today at the store I was trying to get cash back. The cashier was having trouble understanding the concept since she only had 5's and 1's and I wanted a 100$. While we were sorting this out a woman kept trying to get my attention. "Miss. Miss." Finally she got it when she said "your baby". I whipped my head around expecting to see Mster half out the cart, completely turned around teh cart, pulling candy bars off the shelve...etc. but she finished with "Miss. your baby has a bit of cracker in her hair." I assured her it was fine and continued on with the conversation with the cashier.

3. Just to illustrate how much I really love free stuff I wanted to share a story while walking into said store. There was a box. A brand new car seat box. I seriously thought to myself. "Wow look at that box. I should take that. Its in good shape." I then quickly remembered that I already have a box (just like it) sitting in my basement doing nothing. Aah free stuff.

Interactive Wednesday - FREE* Giveaway!

First off I must announce that Interactive Wednesday is my knockoff of Tip for Tuesday from Daring Young Mom. Good Idea and I wouldn't want anybody thinking I wanted full credit. (just partial)

Interactive Wednesday this week is a free giveaway. There is a great show created by the land of maple leafs and street hockey that has brought much joy to my life. I was saddened when I found out the major U.S. networks had not yet picked it up and went week by week slowly falling deeper and deeper into a Corner Gas withdrawal. Luckily my parents came to the rescue and taped a bunch of shows onto DVD. They also bought us 2 seasons. We now have duplicate episodes and its time to spread the Corner Gas love.

Corner Gas is a CTV program set in DogRiver Saskatchewan. Each episode is filled with the humourous and witty anecdotes of a small farming town although nobody really farms) brought to you by Brent the gas attendant owner, his parents, Hank the hangout guy, Lacey the diner owner and many more wonderful characters.

All you have to do to receive such a wonderful free gift is to write me a comment telling me why you want it. I will announce the winner by Noon on Thursday.

Disclaimer - By entering a comment you are placing yourself in the running and may or may not receive the above said DVD. There is only one DVD to giveaway.

* I LOVE FREE things. That being said this is truly a free giveaway. Free is free. There is no buy one get one free. You don't have to buy 5 collectible plates to receive your free gift. And you won't have to pay shipping and handling. Free is free.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My Fight Against "The Man"

I have recently come to the conclusion that "the Man" may not be looking out for my best interests. Gasp! Shock! What??? you say. No, it's true. All my life I've believed that everybody is innately good and that goodness would prevail. Perhaps this comes from my Socialist background. The right thing should and will happen. But lately, I'm not so sure about "the Man".

First off who is "the Man"

1. BCIS and DHS (also known as the Immigration People)
When making a pact with my good friend to find each other mates from our perspective countries I never realized the amount of forms and beauraucracy in marrying those that are not your kind.

Here is how this "the Man" is not looking out for us. We had to live in my socialist state for a year while "the Man" slowly processed my visa. Please note that I am still waiting for that initial visa I applied for over 2 years ago*. And everytime I travel home to visit my family I get a little butterfly (lets face it, its a HUGE butterfly) in my stomach as I pass through Immigration inspection to get back into the States. Last time you made me stare at a lens and digitally took my fingerprints. I felt like a criminal. (and I never got a copy of the picture)

2. My Medical Insurance Company
I have decided not to name you for fear that you will cut my family off completely. Everytime I open one of your letters I tremble with fear that you will deny my claim. "Why is that?" you ask. Maybe its because you have denied 2 of my claims falsely and denied a very large claim using your sneaking and cunning "the Man" ways. (And don't tell me I need to read the Brochure more carefully. I am not an idiot. I read your stinking brochure). I know that in the end all our claims have been accepted but a loyal customer like ourselves should not have to call you and speak to your Customer Disservice Rep who treats like a child when really I'm right**.

3. My Landlords
You, my landlords, I will also not name publicly. I do not fear you but I just can't bring myself to "out" you. But recently you have been added to my list of "the Man". It has been almost 6 weeks since I called you about the ever growing mold in our basement and the positively vomitous scent that forces me to hold my breathe till I think I am going to pass out stench. You were so nice on the phone. You said you would send someone over. And I was so happy when just a few days later a worker man came and looked. I followed him down (usually I let them go about their business but I think I had a premonition). Your worker told me I should bleach it. ME!!! I told him he was crazy (or maybe I just thought the crazy part) and that that room needed to be torn down. Perhaps it was the gleam in my eye but he agreed. He left and I waited. I waited and waited and waited. Finally I called back and got the voice mail of the supervisor. I left a lovely message and sat and waited for her to get back. I waited and waited and waited but she did not call. I called back again and spoke with your front woman***. I spake with her 3 times in 4 weeks. She always said "let me call you back". She never did. I finally called my leasing agent. She was not happy and suprisingly it seemed that things were starting to happen. Contractors were supposedly called and appointments scheduled. And I waited and I waited and I waited. I called your front lady again. She put me on hold. She said you needed to get it inspected by an environmental company. I asked the name and then proceeded to call that company to find out when my appointment was. They hadn't heard of my property. "Front Lady, how do you sleep at night knowing you are lying to the mother of a 15 month old who is breathing mold?" I called my leasing agent again. She was getting a little upset with me and rightly so. A leasing agent is not supposed to deal with maintenance she is supposed to rent your properties. And so today your contractor finally came. I was so happy. I however was not happy to hear that he was called to spray down the room. TEAR IT DOWN!!! He agreed and I was also very happy to hear he had the power to summon a mover and shaker of "the Man". He ordered supplies. He booked appointments and he measured and he inspected. He left with more promises.

And so now I wait....

I sure hope that my list of "the Man" does not grow. I hope I have found you all. I say that I have lost faith but I'll be honest its still there. I still have faith that goodness is out there. But if you screw me over one more time I swear I will turn my husband and all his supersmart lawyer clan on you and you will wish that you had shown more good faith and good business.

*If you are BCIS people I am here legally on a K3 visa. Please don't come take me away.
** For future notice to all of "the Man"s, I am always right.
***Its usually always a woman. She makes comments such as "I understand", "I will call your supervisor", "We are working on it as we speak".

Monday, October 24, 2005

I'm Good Enough. I'm Smart Enough and Doggone it My Daugther Loves Me!

I am super impressed by Mster's ability to grasp new words and concepts and sounds. I think its great.

What sound does a ___ make?

monkey = ooh ooh
dolphin = eeh eeh
tiger = clearing of the throught
dog = wroogh wroogh
cat = beow
owl = hoo hoo
ghost = boo
sheep = baa

She can even say Daddy, Num Num Num (when she's hungry), mmmmm (when she especially enjoying dinner or her snack), Doggy, Ducky, Hi, Bye.

What a smart girl we have. But wait where is Mommy?
"Mster can you say Mommy?"
"No, Mster that's Daddy (point to Cster), what about Mommy?"

I play with her, love her, feed her, tuck her in, change her diapers, wipe her tears away. What am I? And it wouldn't be so bad if her latest word didn't happen to be another name. The culprit from taking my daughters love...

comes from this lovely book she received for at her 1st birthday party.

So we can now add "bobo" to the list of words and still no Mommy.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Did Einstein Eat Paste?

So yesterday we had a great visit from our Parents as Teachers educator. She oohed and aahed at how well Mster was doing. She gushed at how well she followed my instructions (hahaha). And she informed me that Mster would be talking more and more and more than we could possibly imagine because she did understand so many words. It really was a great time. I mean who doesn't love a little gushing?

I was quickly brought back to reality when we walked into Mster's room and I was reminded of our little issue.

Mster has been having a little trouble with waking up in the night. Because of sickness and guests I've been pretty lenient about going in and soothing her back to dreamland. This week, however, I said "Enough!" and so began the crying it out ritual. After night #1 I went into Mster's room and discovered teeth marks on the crib. I thought to myself "lovely" and proceeded to put it in the back of my mind. After night #2 I went into Mster's room only to notice a few more teeth marks. I have to admit I again thought to myself "lovely" and proceeded to put it in the back of my mind. (secretly hoping that night #3 would do the trick and there would be no more wakings). After night #3 I went into Mster's room and noticed she had hit wood. We now had a problem and there was no back burners. After consultation with the Cster and M.I.L.ster we decided that a pepper paste would do the trick. I felt horrible. I had visions of Mster waking up in the middle of the night screaming in pain from rubbing it in her eyes. What was I thinking, pepper. But on the paste went. I also put some toys in their too so she could have something to gnaw.

I awoke the next morning eager to see what happened. I looked at the crib and found...nothing!!! There was not a trace of pepper paste to be found. There was more wood showing and Mster had pepper flakes all over her face. SHE ATE THE PASTE!!! (oh and all her toys were jammed up against the opposite side of her crib)

I was at a lost till a very smart woman suggested I tie a towel onto the crib. She's the genius. It worked like a charm. Mster has a towel to gnaw. (which she did)

But back to the original question. Did Einstein eat paste?

Thursday, October 20, 2005

And The Winner is...

a tie between Danielle and the Mster.

The first toothpaste was clearly near the toy box and since nobody picked near the toy box, Danielle wins.

Mster got us all on the second one. Who would have guessed under the bike? Especially since she is not allowed near the bike. Mster, what are you doing disobeying your parents?

Mster also through us all for a loop when she added a bonus round. Clearly with this move she steps ahead as the winner. So young and already playing us all.

Thanks for playing and tune in for more Interactive fun next Wednesday.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Interactive Wednesday

I decided Wednesday will now be Interactive Wednesday on my blog. There may be games, opinions asked, the possibilities are endless.

Today is a GAME!!!!

Where is the Toothpaste?

Almost everyday I go to brush to my teeth only to find that the toothpaste is missing. At first I thought we might have toothpaste trolls but then I soon discovered my daughter running around the house with it. Silly Girl. Toothpaste isn't for Kids.

So, here are rules. Make guesses. That's a simple as can be. You have till 10:30AM Thursday and the winner gets a huge cyber high five. The toothpaste has been found pretty much anywhere in my house so the options are endless. Also in a moment of weakness I opened a new tube of toothpaste instead of finding the old one so there are 2 toothpastes to be found.

Good Luck!

Oh, and if anyone writes and tells me to solve the problem by not letting M have the toothpaste, you are disqualified automatically.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Horrors of September 23, 2005

On September 23, 2005 I sent this email out to some of my family and friends. It was requested that it be my first blog.

I was attacked at the zoo today. To fully appreciate this story I must start it from the beginning at 4:30AM this morning when M woke up and would not go back to bed. Needless to say, I decided we needed to make a field trip. Because she woke up so darned early I gave her an early morning nap enabling us to make the free Children Zoo hours at the Zoo. So off we went. Our first stop was rather enjoyable. M petted lots of goats. She seemed to enjoy it (or humour me, I'm not sure which one). Next stop is a bird cage that you walk through and there are a bunch of larakeets (larakeets not parakeets) flying around. You can even buy bird seed to feed them (I opted out). So M and I push through the double doors. I take her out of her stroller to see the birds. There is one really close to this stool so we sit on it and watch it. Very colourful bird. Red, yellow and blue. After awhile it starts to get a little boring so I decide its time to go. Meanwhile a bunch of people just came in in front of me. Now I don't know if this caused it but all of a sudden out of nowhere I am smacked on the side of the face by a flying larakeet (I'm still holding M). And this is not just a small smack but a full on the bird ran into me smack. I am very upset. I panic and flail my arms around like a madwoman. I try and rush out of there but the lovely group of people in front of me has decided to take a family picture. No one seems to notice the mad woman with the small child in her arms. What is wrong with these people. Finally, I escaped. I have no physical damage but I still feel emotionally traumatized and I will NEVER go in there again.

And so it is now 1pm and I have been up for 9 hours and been hit by a bird and...

last night while putting M to bed I could hear the sounds of helicopters. I roll my eyes and pray that she will still fall asleep and not think much more of it. Cster has just left for class and I am looking forward to my nap while he is gone. Then, a few moments later, Cster returns and comes into the room. If you can believe it somebody 2 blocks down has taken their family hostage. So, for 15 hours our street was in chaos while the cops tried to negotiate with the guy. Apparently he was mentally ill and had his 70 year old aunt and 2 year old nephew hostage. Needless to say I didn't take a nap and had my eyes glued to the tv. Bless all those people dealing with the hurricane but the news stations only gave a 5 second clip on the sit. and then jumped to some guy surfing in the gulf coast and getting arrested. Shouldn't a larger portion of the news be on local news? Specifically when there is a madman on your street?

My Debut (take 2)

My lovely friend send me her blog and I have so enjoyed reading her fun, witty posts about her life and family that I just felt I had to jump on the bandwagon and set one up for myself. I can't promise fun or wit but I'll sure try to update and entertain.