Monday, October 31, 2005

My Attack Against "the Man" - the Saga Continues

For those of you familiar with my rantings on "the man" you will be interested to note that at 9AM this morning Mster and I were interrupted by a knock on our door by the contractor. Strange, thought I, since "the man" told me the environmental people were coming tomorrow and they were not allowed to do anything to the basement until testing was done. Hmmm...interesting. Yet, here was another man (not 'the man") claiming he was called to rip up our floor. I was flabbergasted What should I do?

1. I first called my neighbour. Her husband does shift work and so he might be home to come over and inspect the work. Rats he wasn't home.

2. Call the Cster. Cster said to call "the man" and let em' have it. Oh I really did not want to do this. I hate calling "the man". "The man" is never there and inevitably I get "the front woman". so I opted for...

3. Go downstairs and tell the workers to send their boss my way when they were done. Of course ma'am they said. And so Mster and I aborted our plans and hung out at home all morning. After awhile I realized I could not hear any noises downstairs. Surely they didn't finish and not come see me, thought I. I went down to investigate and the basement was...EMPTY!!!! There were however noticable signs that somebody had been there.

a) the randomly placed objects around my basement that were taken from the room.

b) the dehumidifier that was left down there, unplugged and nowhere near the now torn up room.

c) the torn up floor

d) the smell of mud

e) the remaining mud that they could not get off the floor and stairs.

f) a disposable coffee cup sitting on the table

This led me to believe I had no choice but goto option 2. Erg!!!

2...continued...Ring Ring Ring...How may I direct your call? moment...Hello, you have reached the voicemail box of "the front woman"...hang up.

Second try
Ring Ring Ring...How may I direct your call?, click, click...dial tone.

Third try
Ring Ring Ring...How may I direct your call? moment...
Hi this is "front woman"...hallelujah (not spoken) - hi this is the burrito calling from address about the mold in the basement

oh yes...well I'm calling because I don't understand how a man could come and tear out the floor when you told me that nothing could be done till the environmental guy came and that was supposed to be tomorrow

hold on for a sec, (I hold on much longer than a sec)

ma'am the environmental guy did come and everything is fine so we went ahead with tearing it down... (hmm, something seems fishy) when did he come?

this morning...well I never saw him and I didn't let him in

well he must have done his testing outside ma'am...why would he do his testing outside when the mold is on the basement floor?

hold on one sec - our guy let him in and they found nothing and so we went ahead... how did your guy let him in when you can only get in through the apartment and I didn't let him in?

our guy let him in ma' you don't understand I was here all morning nobody came in

he let him in the back...ugh!!!you can't get to the basement from the back

well they did and the testings done...fine. what about the basement. there's a dehumidifier and other things down there what am I supposed to do with them?

hold on a second ma'am - you don't do anything we will come back and doing stuff with it, (That was me doing the clicking).

What is going on? Am I crazy?

What Candy?

This will be my answer to Cster's question "Where is the Halloween candy?" when he gets home today.

Simple Pleasures in Life

It is the simple pleasures that get me through my day.

For instance today I pleasure in my perfect stacking of the clean dishes to dry.

Did you notice my next pleasure. Dinner!!! Its made and cooking. All done. At 6:30pm I will not be asking myself what should we have for dinner. Aah simple pleasures.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

I made the Coolest Pumpkin

I really did. But first off I have to apologize to all of my readers for fishfrogmonkeyman's blog. Please be forewarned there is a very disturbing picture on the site. (I realize you now feel obligated to go check it out but I really did warn you Fishyman is scantily dressed.) I have to admit I was at the party where said costume was worn. But he did wear shorts most of the night and when he took them off I averted my eyes. To be honest most of the night my nose was busy focusing on this...

Its a little difficult to see what it is but its a castle. A haunted castle.

But before all of this funfilled activity I got a tatoo...

Mster, feeling the need to do everything I do, got this one...

Let me tell you it was a very exciting night.

Could Somebody Please Explain DST to the Mster?

While you are all snuggled up in your warm bed the Mster and I are hanging out. She woke up at 4:30 AM and hasn't gone back to bed. Now you may think that putting her down an hour later (not b/c of DST but because of a Halloween party) would make her sleep in an hour therefore eliminating DST issues but no, this isn't so. See, more often than not (read everytime) Mster goes to bed later than her 6pm bedtime, she wakes up at some horribly early hour. And so now we are off to read more books, eat more cheerios and tear up the house.

PS - I even broke the house rule of no TV on Sunday. (When its 5AM you struggle for anything to amuse the child) Do you know that the only think on during Sunday morning are 2 paid programs and a gospel program. This makes me more sad that it is so early they haven't even started the cartoons.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Grade 10 Social with Mr. T.

This post was inspired by Daring One's confession that she misses me in person. Aaah. I miss her too.

I met Daring One during Grade 10 Social (translate - junior year social studies) with Mr. T. I can't believe we only had 1 year together Daring One but oh what a year. Mr. T. was a great teacher. I really loved his class.

Reason #1:
Daring One was there (along with a few others one I will name, hair flipper). There was copious amount of note passing. Passing between each other. Passing for others in other classes. Passing for others in other schools. Just a stupid amount of notes. I wish I had kept them for our reading enjoyment. But a main topic of our notes within class is my Reason #2.

Reason #2:
Poor Mr. T. had a very large BO problem. He stunk. It was soooo bad. We trembled when he made his way over to our desks and when he leaned over to help us out with a problem all we could do was hold our breath and nod or shake our heads. I remember when he left the room once and a plan was devised. Somebody said they would bring in a glade freshener for the classroom the next day if somebody offered to distract him so she could plug it in. Because, when you have a stinky man in a room all day with 100's of other stinky highschoolers you have the rankest room possible.

Reason #3
The Alberta Education people devised a way to segregate classes by academic ability. If you just wanted to graduate highschool and didn't really care about college you took the "Subject" 13, 23, 33 route. If you wanted to go to college you took "Subject" 10, 20, 30. I don't know why the smarties got the lower number. Maybe its because they wanted the others to feel more important. Thing is unless you were obviously not going to college everybody took "Subject" 10. So our Social 10 class was filled with such an eclectic bunch of people ranging from ultimate geek to ultimate class clown. After the first year (10) a lot of people get weeded out and put in 23 instead of 20. I hope this makes sense. All of my 10 classes were pretty crazy. So much class chaos. But Social 10 was the best. Mr. T. was so easy going. Although I do remember a few red faces. (Daring One back me up)

So those are my reasons for loving Social 10.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

And the Winner is...

Well, this was the hardest choice ever. Seriously. Then I got to thinking about the spirit of Interactive Wednesday and a solution slowly began to form in my mind. I really want EVERYBODY to enjoy Corner Gas and I really want people to enjoy the free giveaway.

So here's what I'm thinking. (Remember its the spirit of Interactive Wednesday. Aren't we all winners? I mean your comments were fantastic)

Miss Maverick gets the original free giveaway. She views it. She loves it. She shares with it with Firefly boy and she wins the "who's cooler" contest. Here's where we break the giveaway rules a little bit. Instead of keeping her free gift she brings it back to me (no stay with me for a minute) when we both participate in "The Mother of All Brains 2005 Conference". I then take it to GG during the yuletide season whilst I travel to the land where this all started. GG watches it and when I return she gives it back to me. I then mail it to Daring Young Mom.

Now Jess, Amanda and Teddo, fear not I have NOT left you out. You see the only reason we could have said contest was because Cster owns the actual full season one and season two dvd sets (those are really his) and we would love to have you over to enjoy our "well kept house" and marathon with Brent, Lacey and Hank all night long. Teddo you can pour the DCs. Amanda and Jess can bring the tasty refreshments (along with myself) and we will supply the coveted entertainment and blankets and pillows and couches.

I realize this is not what people expected when free giveaway started. A gift was promised. A gift you could keep. But, I think and feel that this is the ultimate best solution. Everybody would get to see it and what more could anyone ask for.

PS - Maverick, I'm sure you have DVDR capabilities what with your connections. Need I say more?

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Hodge Podge

The contest is still on but I thought I would add 3 humourous things that happened to me to my blog whilst the competition continues.

1. I saw who may be the least smartest person in the world at the Social Security office yesterday while applying for a # for the Mster. You walk in. You get metal detected and then you go to a button, push it and magically a number appears. This is the number that they will use to call you. (I'm sure many of you have seen this system before. It is fairly common). After taking my number, Mster and I began to walk around the office waiting "198" to be called. I saw a woman who kept pushing and pushing the button. Finally a guard walked over and said, "Ma'am. They are in sequential numbers. You aren't going to get a better one." She looked at him and said, "Are you serious? Man, this is going to take forever" and then proceeded to take the last number she took out and sit down leaving all the original numbers she pushed for still sitting there. True Story.

2. You know somebody does not have children when...
Today at the store I was trying to get cash back. The cashier was having trouble understanding the concept since she only had 5's and 1's and I wanted a 100$. While we were sorting this out a woman kept trying to get my attention. "Miss. Miss." Finally she got it when she said "your baby". I whipped my head around expecting to see Mster half out the cart, completely turned around teh cart, pulling candy bars off the shelve...etc. but she finished with "Miss. your baby has a bit of cracker in her hair." I assured her it was fine and continued on with the conversation with the cashier.

3. Just to illustrate how much I really love free stuff I wanted to share a story while walking into said store. There was a box. A brand new car seat box. I seriously thought to myself. "Wow look at that box. I should take that. Its in good shape." I then quickly remembered that I already have a box (just like it) sitting in my basement doing nothing. Aah free stuff.

Interactive Wednesday - FREE* Giveaway!

First off I must announce that Interactive Wednesday is my knockoff of Tip for Tuesday from Daring Young Mom. Good Idea and I wouldn't want anybody thinking I wanted full credit. (just partial)

Interactive Wednesday this week is a free giveaway. There is a great show created by the land of maple leafs and street hockey that has brought much joy to my life. I was saddened when I found out the major U.S. networks had not yet picked it up and went week by week slowly falling deeper and deeper into a Corner Gas withdrawal. Luckily my parents came to the rescue and taped a bunch of shows onto DVD. They also bought us 2 seasons. We now have duplicate episodes and its time to spread the Corner Gas love.

Corner Gas is a CTV program set in DogRiver Saskatchewan. Each episode is filled with the humourous and witty anecdotes of a small farming town although nobody really farms) brought to you by Brent the gas attendant owner, his parents, Hank the hangout guy, Lacey the diner owner and many more wonderful characters.

All you have to do to receive such a wonderful free gift is to write me a comment telling me why you want it. I will announce the winner by Noon on Thursday.

Disclaimer - By entering a comment you are placing yourself in the running and may or may not receive the above said DVD. There is only one DVD to giveaway.

* I LOVE FREE things. That being said this is truly a free giveaway. Free is free. There is no buy one get one free. You don't have to buy 5 collectible plates to receive your free gift. And you won't have to pay shipping and handling. Free is free.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

My Fight Against "The Man"

I have recently come to the conclusion that "the Man" may not be looking out for my best interests. Gasp! Shock! What??? you say. No, it's true. All my life I've believed that everybody is innately good and that goodness would prevail. Perhaps this comes from my Socialist background. The right thing should and will happen. But lately, I'm not so sure about "the Man".

First off who is "the Man"

1. BCIS and DHS (also known as the Immigration People)
When making a pact with my good friend to find each other mates from our perspective countries I never realized the amount of forms and beauraucracy in marrying those that are not your kind.

Here is how this "the Man" is not looking out for us. We had to live in my socialist state for a year while "the Man" slowly processed my visa. Please note that I am still waiting for that initial visa I applied for over 2 years ago*. And everytime I travel home to visit my family I get a little butterfly (lets face it, its a HUGE butterfly) in my stomach as I pass through Immigration inspection to get back into the States. Last time you made me stare at a lens and digitally took my fingerprints. I felt like a criminal. (and I never got a copy of the picture)

2. My Medical Insurance Company
I have decided not to name you for fear that you will cut my family off completely. Everytime I open one of your letters I tremble with fear that you will deny my claim. "Why is that?" you ask. Maybe its because you have denied 2 of my claims falsely and denied a very large claim using your sneaking and cunning "the Man" ways. (And don't tell me I need to read the Brochure more carefully. I am not an idiot. I read your stinking brochure). I know that in the end all our claims have been accepted but a loyal customer like ourselves should not have to call you and speak to your Customer Disservice Rep who treats like a child when really I'm right**.

3. My Landlords
You, my landlords, I will also not name publicly. I do not fear you but I just can't bring myself to "out" you. But recently you have been added to my list of "the Man". It has been almost 6 weeks since I called you about the ever growing mold in our basement and the positively vomitous scent that forces me to hold my breathe till I think I am going to pass out stench. You were so nice on the phone. You said you would send someone over. And I was so happy when just a few days later a worker man came and looked. I followed him down (usually I let them go about their business but I think I had a premonition). Your worker told me I should bleach it. ME!!! I told him he was crazy (or maybe I just thought the crazy part) and that that room needed to be torn down. Perhaps it was the gleam in my eye but he agreed. He left and I waited. I waited and waited and waited. Finally I called back and got the voice mail of the supervisor. I left a lovely message and sat and waited for her to get back. I waited and waited and waited but she did not call. I called back again and spoke with your front woman***. I spake with her 3 times in 4 weeks. She always said "let me call you back". She never did. I finally called my leasing agent. She was not happy and suprisingly it seemed that things were starting to happen. Contractors were supposedly called and appointments scheduled. And I waited and I waited and I waited. I called your front lady again. She put me on hold. She said you needed to get it inspected by an environmental company. I asked the name and then proceeded to call that company to find out when my appointment was. They hadn't heard of my property. "Front Lady, how do you sleep at night knowing you are lying to the mother of a 15 month old who is breathing mold?" I called my leasing agent again. She was getting a little upset with me and rightly so. A leasing agent is not supposed to deal with maintenance she is supposed to rent your properties. And so today your contractor finally came. I was so happy. I however was not happy to hear that he was called to spray down the room. TEAR IT DOWN!!! He agreed and I was also very happy to hear he had the power to summon a mover and shaker of "the Man". He ordered supplies. He booked appointments and he measured and he inspected. He left with more promises.

And so now I wait....

I sure hope that my list of "the Man" does not grow. I hope I have found you all. I say that I have lost faith but I'll be honest its still there. I still have faith that goodness is out there. But if you screw me over one more time I swear I will turn my husband and all his supersmart lawyer clan on you and you will wish that you had shown more good faith and good business.

*If you are BCIS people I am here legally on a K3 visa. Please don't come take me away.
** For future notice to all of "the Man"s, I am always right.
***Its usually always a woman. She makes comments such as "I understand", "I will call your supervisor", "We are working on it as we speak".

Monday, October 24, 2005

I'm Good Enough. I'm Smart Enough and Doggone it My Daugther Loves Me!

I am super impressed by Mster's ability to grasp new words and concepts and sounds. I think its great.

What sound does a ___ make?

monkey = ooh ooh
dolphin = eeh eeh
tiger = clearing of the throught
dog = wroogh wroogh
cat = beow
owl = hoo hoo
ghost = boo
sheep = baa

She can even say Daddy, Num Num Num (when she's hungry), mmmmm (when she especially enjoying dinner or her snack), Doggy, Ducky, Hi, Bye.

What a smart girl we have. But wait where is Mommy?
"Mster can you say Mommy?"
"No, Mster that's Daddy (point to Cster), what about Mommy?"

I play with her, love her, feed her, tuck her in, change her diapers, wipe her tears away. What am I? And it wouldn't be so bad if her latest word didn't happen to be another name. The culprit from taking my daughters love...

comes from this lovely book she received for at her 1st birthday party.

So we can now add "bobo" to the list of words and still no Mommy.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Did Einstein Eat Paste?

So yesterday we had a great visit from our Parents as Teachers educator. She oohed and aahed at how well Mster was doing. She gushed at how well she followed my instructions (hahaha). And she informed me that Mster would be talking more and more and more than we could possibly imagine because she did understand so many words. It really was a great time. I mean who doesn't love a little gushing?

I was quickly brought back to reality when we walked into Mster's room and I was reminded of our little issue.

Mster has been having a little trouble with waking up in the night. Because of sickness and guests I've been pretty lenient about going in and soothing her back to dreamland. This week, however, I said "Enough!" and so began the crying it out ritual. After night #1 I went into Mster's room and discovered teeth marks on the crib. I thought to myself "lovely" and proceeded to put it in the back of my mind. After night #2 I went into Mster's room only to notice a few more teeth marks. I have to admit I again thought to myself "lovely" and proceeded to put it in the back of my mind. (secretly hoping that night #3 would do the trick and there would be no more wakings). After night #3 I went into Mster's room and noticed she had hit wood. We now had a problem and there was no back burners. After consultation with the Cster and M.I.L.ster we decided that a pepper paste would do the trick. I felt horrible. I had visions of Mster waking up in the middle of the night screaming in pain from rubbing it in her eyes. What was I thinking, pepper. But on the paste went. I also put some toys in their too so she could have something to gnaw.

I awoke the next morning eager to see what happened. I looked at the crib and found...nothing!!! There was not a trace of pepper paste to be found. There was more wood showing and Mster had pepper flakes all over her face. SHE ATE THE PASTE!!! (oh and all her toys were jammed up against the opposite side of her crib)

I was at a lost till a very smart woman suggested I tie a towel onto the crib. She's the genius. It worked like a charm. Mster has a towel to gnaw. (which she did)

But back to the original question. Did Einstein eat paste?

Thursday, October 20, 2005

And The Winner is...

a tie between Danielle and the Mster.

The first toothpaste was clearly near the toy box and since nobody picked near the toy box, Danielle wins.

Mster got us all on the second one. Who would have guessed under the bike? Especially since she is not allowed near the bike. Mster, what are you doing disobeying your parents?

Mster also through us all for a loop when she added a bonus round. Clearly with this move she steps ahead as the winner. So young and already playing us all.

Thanks for playing and tune in for more Interactive fun next Wednesday.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Interactive Wednesday

I decided Wednesday will now be Interactive Wednesday on my blog. There may be games, opinions asked, the possibilities are endless.

Today is a GAME!!!!

Where is the Toothpaste?

Almost everyday I go to brush to my teeth only to find that the toothpaste is missing. At first I thought we might have toothpaste trolls but then I soon discovered my daughter running around the house with it. Silly Girl. Toothpaste isn't for Kids.

So, here are rules. Make guesses. That's a simple as can be. You have till 10:30AM Thursday and the winner gets a huge cyber high five. The toothpaste has been found pretty much anywhere in my house so the options are endless. Also in a moment of weakness I opened a new tube of toothpaste instead of finding the old one so there are 2 toothpastes to be found.

Good Luck!

Oh, and if anyone writes and tells me to solve the problem by not letting M have the toothpaste, you are disqualified automatically.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

The Horrors of September 23, 2005

On September 23, 2005 I sent this email out to some of my family and friends. It was requested that it be my first blog.

I was attacked at the zoo today. To fully appreciate this story I must start it from the beginning at 4:30AM this morning when M woke up and would not go back to bed. Needless to say, I decided we needed to make a field trip. Because she woke up so darned early I gave her an early morning nap enabling us to make the free Children Zoo hours at the Zoo. So off we went. Our first stop was rather enjoyable. M petted lots of goats. She seemed to enjoy it (or humour me, I'm not sure which one). Next stop is a bird cage that you walk through and there are a bunch of larakeets (larakeets not parakeets) flying around. You can even buy bird seed to feed them (I opted out). So M and I push through the double doors. I take her out of her stroller to see the birds. There is one really close to this stool so we sit on it and watch it. Very colourful bird. Red, yellow and blue. After awhile it starts to get a little boring so I decide its time to go. Meanwhile a bunch of people just came in in front of me. Now I don't know if this caused it but all of a sudden out of nowhere I am smacked on the side of the face by a flying larakeet (I'm still holding M). And this is not just a small smack but a full on the bird ran into me smack. I am very upset. I panic and flail my arms around like a madwoman. I try and rush out of there but the lovely group of people in front of me has decided to take a family picture. No one seems to notice the mad woman with the small child in her arms. What is wrong with these people. Finally, I escaped. I have no physical damage but I still feel emotionally traumatized and I will NEVER go in there again.

And so it is now 1pm and I have been up for 9 hours and been hit by a bird and...

last night while putting M to bed I could hear the sounds of helicopters. I roll my eyes and pray that she will still fall asleep and not think much more of it. Cster has just left for class and I am looking forward to my nap while he is gone. Then, a few moments later, Cster returns and comes into the room. If you can believe it somebody 2 blocks down has taken their family hostage. So, for 15 hours our street was in chaos while the cops tried to negotiate with the guy. Apparently he was mentally ill and had his 70 year old aunt and 2 year old nephew hostage. Needless to say I didn't take a nap and had my eyes glued to the tv. Bless all those people dealing with the hurricane but the news stations only gave a 5 second clip on the sit. and then jumped to some guy surfing in the gulf coast and getting arrested. Shouldn't a larger portion of the news be on local news? Specifically when there is a madman on your street?

My Debut (take 2)

My lovely friend send me her blog and I have so enjoyed reading her fun, witty posts about her life and family that I just felt I had to jump on the bandwagon and set one up for myself. I can't promise fun or wit but I'll sure try to update and entertain.