Introducing...

I'd like to formally introduce everybody to Lsters first tooth and to our new dog "Woohoo*". One of them is pretend.

*I'm not sure of the spelling. Is it just one name like Madonna, or Cher or is it Woo Hoo as in Mrs. Hoo, first name Woo.

You can't really see this but this was where I had to get my official "don't park in front of our house or else" signs.

I almost died laughing when I read the police stations slogan.

For those that can't see it says:

St Louis Police Department - the "Real Police"

Congratulations Doo Doo...I think

A few weeks ago Mster informed me that Doo Doo had a baby in her tummy. I told Cster and he brought it up at dinner time.

Cster: So I hear Doo Doo has a baby in her tummy.
Mster: Uh Huh
Cster: When is it coming out?
Mster: In about a half of an hour. She's going to the hospital.
Cster: Wow. How is she going to get to the hospital?
Me: Maybe Bah Bah could take her.
Mster: No. She's going to take herself.

There have been no other mentions of Doo Doo's baby. So I'm not sure how it all went. Doo Doo has come with us to some outdoor activities so its nice to know she's up and able to do some stuff.

Just when you think she gets the world

Me: Mster, Grandma said that she asked 2 girls at church if she could take them and us to the park when we move there.
Mster: (very excited) What are their names?
Me: I don't know. I'm sorry.
Mster: I know their names.
Me: Really, What are they?
Mster: Amy and the Kindergarden girl
Me: Huh
Mster: Do you know the Kindergarden girls name?
Me: No, Do you?
Mster: yes
Me: What is it?
Mster: the kindergarden girl (exasperated as if we've already gone through this already)
Me: Well, where does she live (trying to get a little more info to see who she's thinking of)
Mster: in the Hundred Acre Woods with the 3 bears.

Cute vs. Annoying

Cute: Mster telling me she wants a "smackeral of something"* yesterday morning
Annoying: Mster telling me she wants a "smackeral of something" 20 times yesterday morning and afternoon.

*"Smackeral of something" is from a Winnie the Pooh book that refers to having a snack...for those thinking why don't you just give her something, snacktime has cutoffs or else dinner/lunch won't be eaten. We aren't a free for all eating in this house.

Aspirations

Today as we left a friends house we saw a man mowing a lawn.

Later on during the drive home:

Mster: When I grow up I'm going to be a man so that I can lawnmower.
Me: Mster, Ladies can mow lawns too. Ladies can do anything they want to do.
Mster: (silence)

To Bah Bah, Doo Doo and Baby Jack

To Bah Bah, Doo Doo and Baby Jack*:
I can't see you yet you seem to be an important part of the Burrito life. I'm just writing to let you know it would be of great help if you could help out around here.

Bah Bah, you're in elementary school, you should be able to play with Mster a little bit. Don't always be conveniently gone when Mster wants you to play.

Doo Doo, you may love pre-school, but it doesn't' mean you have to be there all day. Come home and amuse Mster while I get some dishes done.

Baby Jack, you are Mster's baby. You are not my baby. For that reason I refuse to change you, carry you, feed you or any other task Mster tells me you want me to do. Mster's a big girl. She can help you. I will however reprimand you when you take Lster's toys. That is unacceptable behaviour, even for a baby I can't see.

Sincerely, Squishy

*Names have NOT been changed for anonymity. I don't think their are any imaginary friend stalkers out there and if there are, by all means, take them.

Who's Nina?

Mster made a new friend today.

With temperatures well in the 70's we were in no way going to miss out on some outside playtime. Outdoors we met a neighbour with a 5 year old girl also playing outside. The 2 girls became fast friends. The only issue was that Mster refused to call her by her real name. She would only refer to her as "Nina". I told her over and over again her name. I used her name in numerous sentences. Mster conversed with "Nina" that entire time and "Nina" understood what she was saying. And yet the poor girl was Nina.

Even as we were heading into our house you could hear the yells of the two of them.

"Bye Mster"

"Bye Nina"

Potty Humour

Mster sitting on the toilet...

Mster: What noise is coming?
Me: Uh...I don't know.
Mster: Its yucky and you can't eat it.
Me: (thinking) oh no
Mster: PEE!!! (followed by her body producing appropriate sound effects)

Our Snowman

Check out our bathtub snowman.

This is what happens when it is too cold to play outside but Mster really really really wants to play in the snow. So much fun...

Hurray!!!

This will not mean much to some of you but we are 100%potty trained house for 3/4 of our family. Oh the excitement!!!!!

Memoirs of a 3/4 Potty Trained House

I find it slightly ironic that the day after the M&M's ran out there were 2 accidents.

Its a Surprise!!!

Mster came into our room this morning from waking up to this question:

Mster: Guess what's in my diaper?
Me: I don't know. What's in your diaper?
Mster: Its brown and BIG!
Me: Mmm...does it smell bad
Mster: It smells YUCKY!!
Mster: ITS A SURPRISE!

It made me wonder if anybody else woke up to such a wonderfully yucky surprise this morning.

Crap, Dang, Erg...

Today while on the phone with another "the man", Cster taught Mster "fo'shizzle". I heard it while I was on hold, being rerouted and pleading with stupid insurance people for over an hour and there was nothing I could do but give Cster evil death stares from across the room.

His response as we discussed it over dinner was that I have to stop saying "crap", "dang", and any other noncuss cuss words around her first. To this I reply...fo'shizzle.

Disgusting

Seen earlier today...

Mster picking at her toes and eating the findings.

and then later on...

Mster: Daddy you want my nail cut?
Cster: Uh...
Me: What would he do with them?
Mster: eat them.

Back Seat Drive

On the way home from Church. Cster driving. Important to note is that there were no trees in any different places than on any other drive home from church.

Mster: LOOK OUT FOR THAT TREE!!!!!
Cster: I'll do my best not to hit it.
Mster: DONT hit it Daddy
Cster: Okay, I won't hit it.
Mster: LOOK OUT for that Church!

Play toys...

Driving home from dropping Cster off at his clerkship:

Mster: I want to go back downtown
Me: No, we have to go home
Mster: I don't want to go home. I want to go back downtown
Me: What are you going to do there?
Mster: Play toys.

Same drive home:

Mster: I want to ride in the back
Me: You are in the back
Mster: No, that back (meaning trunk)
Me: hmmm...well what would you do back there
Mster: Play toys.
Me: What kind of toys?
Mster: Wah Wahs and Poh pohs (I'm glad she cleared that up for me)

I dropped

With the return to the normal life (hahaha) from Christmas vacation we decided to let Mster sleep in her big girl bed (aka a toddler bed). Oh the excitement to be had by all. Oh the excitement not had at 3:47AM when I woke up to the wails and crying of a 2 year old who "dropped" from her bed.

Thankfully last night (night #2) was dropfree.

I also find it humourous that Mster sits on her bed until we come get her. She hasn't quite figured out that she doesn't have to scream at the top of her lungs for us to come get her when she wakes up. She can just crawl off the bed and come find us.

Christmas Eve

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Picture this...Christmas Eve. Tons of family. Children running in circles everywhere. Adults mingling and stuffing their faces. A momentary break in the chaos.

Mster: Hey Arfanser*, I want some cake.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nothing like the Christmas spirit to walk down to the tree and find out that Santa brought everyone (incl. your 2 yr old) a nerf gun. Presents were delayed a good 1/2-3/4 hour while WWIII broke out.

and nothing like dodging mounds of Christmas presents when WWIII resurfaced after everthing was open.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Let it Snow. Let it Snow. Let it Snow.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh the fun of conquering, one sheep at a time.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've never had to bribe for friends, BUT who's my friend now.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What did you say?

Perhaps your daughter is crying for any attention when she says "tell me to stop hitting my toy against her potty", while hitting her toy against her potty.

_______________________________________________________

Cster: Mster did you go poop?
Mster: no
Cster: hmm...maybe its just dinner

This is my life...

I've been pondering my choice to stay at home with my kids a little more this past week after reading this book. I've never doubted my decision, I've just been thinking about it and how it effects and will effect (or is it affect) me, my husband and my children. I found it somewhat humourous when this conversation ensued this afternoon.

Mster: (holding Sven on the couch) Hi Sven. I'm Mster, your big sister. This is my mommy. She makes me breakfast every morning.

Of all the things she could tell him, that is what she could think of at that moment. (It was hours after I'd poured her cereal too)

And on a similar mommy note.

This is what I deal with on a semi-daily basis.




I case you can't tell that's vomit.

The Awkward Stage (verbalizing everything)

At church last Sunday there was a lady in front of us in a halter top. Her entire back was bare and she had 2 tattoos on each shoulderblade. Mster didn't get it. Here's the conversation that I tried to stop.

Mster: "Mommy that lady's naked and has stickers."
Me: Shhhh...look there's A---, your friend.
Mster: Why is she naked. She has stickers on her back.
Me: Looking at Cster, trying desparately not to laugh.

Yesterday in her highchair.

Mster: (grunting)
Me: do you have to go to the potty?
Mster: No. My bum's wiggling.

Being the mother of 2 kids

Always enjoyable is looking over at your daughter (in her high chair) "washing" herself with jello while your 3 week old baby vomits all over you.

Exorcist

I would like to introduce you all to the latest addition in the Burrito household.




















His name is Exorcist. Yep, you read correctly. Mster's halloween horse (a lovely assessory to her "heehaw girl" outfit) is named, thanks to Cster, Exorcist. When the name was proposed it was met with great opposition by Cster's mother and myself but sadly the name caught on. I tried without any luck to change Mster's mind on the name but Exorcist stuck.

I guess that's what I get for not letting her be a stroller.

update

1. Sven slept by himself in his crib the whole night yesterday only to wake up for feedings. YAHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2. The bruise on my right forearm the size of Manhattan is starting to go down finally.

Just plain wrong

I don't see the difference. Can you see the difference?

Observations and Thoughts

#1 - perhaps when you hear that you should pack a bag prior to needing to go the hospital you should listen. perhaps when you feel that you should pack a bag everyday for a week you should listen. there's nothing like fumbling around at 2AM thinking toothbrush, toothpaste, what else?

#2 - you go into labour. the contractions hurt. the nice nurses and doctors offer you an epidural. you finish labour. you rest in the hospital. you still have contractions*, the nurses offer you ibuprofen. something isn't quite right.

* for those that didn't know contractions don't stop after you deliver and are stronger after birth if you're on a second+ child.

Halloween

I've been trying to explain Halloween to Mster. She doesn't get it. It is a wierd tradition. But I just don't know how to explain it to her. I've been trying to let her choose her own costume by slowly talking about it everyday. Here was today's conversation.

(After explaining the concept yet again)
Me: So Mster you could be a bunny
Mster: (eyes get wide)
Me: You could be a butterfly
Mster: (eyes get wider)
Me: You could be a princess
Mster: (Eyes go back to normal)
Me: You could be a cowgirl
Mster: yeah, a cowgirl
Me: Mster what do you want to dress up as for halloween.
Mster: A STROLLER!!!!!

Just Me.

Mster: I'm so happy to see Auntie M
Me: I'm so happy to see her too.
Mster: Not you, just me.

Mster: I'm really missing Auntie M
Me: I know Mster. I miss Auntie M too.
Mster: No you miss Auntie M, just me.

It just needs a little tape.

So my sister-in-law was supposed to fly in this morning. I checked the website and it showed it being on time. So off Mster and I went to go pick her up. Much, much excitement was going on with Mster. I was informed she was "so happy to see auntie (mavvy)". I was also informed after I said that I was happy too that I was not happy.

Mster: no your not happy. just me.

We arrived at the airport and drove around forever to find parking. Finally found parking and walked forever to get inside. Mster really wanted to go in so I figured we would actually make the trip in so she could see inside. I went to the computer screens only to find out that her flight was an hour and 40 minutes late. Erg!!! Very frustrating. I decided we could hang out at the airport and have lunch and Mster would just skip her nap. Then, I decided to check again just to make srue and low and behold the flight said it was ontime. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

So Mster and I spent the next 40 minutes walking back and forth from the gate to the baggage claim to the computer waiting. I finally walked up to the ticket counter waited forever in line to talk to a real person who informed me that the flight hadn't even left yet and was expect 3 hours later. (that would 4 hours later from the orginal arrival time)

I would like any suggestions on how to explain this to a 2 year old. How do explain to her that we now have to leave the airport (without her aunt), go home, take a nap and come back and get her. "I want to see Auntie (mavvy) now".

I told her the plane was broken and they wouldn't let anybody on it will they fixed it so she was still at the other airport waiting for them to fix the plane. She then told me that somebody needed to give them some tape.

A Little Something Out of Ordinary

I try to spice up, no pun intended, (read article for pun) Csters life by sending odd stories that spring up during the week.

Here's one for all to enjoy.

I personally like the quotes the most:

"I eat mild salsa," Huang said. "But there's nothing like putting yourself through a lot of pain for no reason."

"I cant feel my face," he said when he was able to speak again.

and don't forget "the black widow" who had never even eaten a jalapeno before. Huh?

Special Pajamas

Tonight I was trying to get Msters attention while putting her to bed and so I told her she was going to get special pajamas. Immediately her eyes went wide with eager excitement.

These "speical pajamas" are also known as sleepers to the rest of the world and I was thinking it was getting cold enough to break them out.

If possible her eyes went even wider as she told "Mommy these pajamas have slippers." She then proceeded to stomp around to get the feel of them.

Simple pleasures my friends, simple pleasures.

Sven Update

I feel a little odd giving an update before the doctor's appointment (which is in 3hours) but here goes.

Contractions suck.

I think they suck for him too cause he fights them.

When he fights them, I'm the one that gets kicked and punched.

Maybe I should pack a bag? I think my baby calendar told me to pack a bag like 2 weeks ago.

Did I mention contractions suck?

37 weeks on friday.

Its not time yet.

I think I'll take a nap.

I'm tired.

Sassy Girl

Cster had a pair of socks on the floor of our living room. I was going to babysit in a few minutes and was trying to tidy up last minute.

Me: "Mster can you please pick up Daddy's socks and take them to my bedroom."
Mster: (picks up the socks and walks over to me) "Do it yourself"

Happy Birthday Arfanser!

Me to Arfanser: There is a surprize waiting for you at home.
Mster: Its a BOOKMARK!!
Me: No Mster, remember its a surprize.
Arfanser: Don't worry I didn't catch what she said.
Mster: A BOOKMARK DADDY!! A BOOKMARK!
Arfanser: Is she saying bookmark?
Me: Um, its a surprize.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Our library is about 800 square feet. I love it. Before, when a walk to the end of the block didn't cause me shocking pain I used to take Mster there 2-3 times a week. We'd take the stroller and I'd let her out once inside to pick out whatever 1 or 2 books she wanted (when you are going 3 times a week you don't need a strollerfull of books everytime). She would pick one out and hand it to me while I was searching for my own literary find(remember the library is only 800 sq. feet).

On our last trip Mster picked out a book of lego interpretation of Genesis. I try hard not to bias her choices and so even though it looked incredibly crazy I said okay.

I find the book hilarious on 2 counts.

1) Mster refers to it as the Adam and Steve book. This, I kidd you not. She mixes the words together and it comes out Adam and Steve. It cracks me up everytime.

2) How exactly to you explain pictures like this, this and this, to a 2 year old. I would also like to note if you are checking out his website that not all pictures on the website are in the book. I promise I'm still a good mother.

Not quite so hilarious is that Mster at first thought the "author" was Jesus. (sidenote: everytime you reload the page you get a different picture.

Jesus Hopping

(looking at a picture of Jesus with Mster)
Me: Mster, what did Jesus do?
Mster: hop
Mster: (hopping all over the room) hop. hop. hop.
Me: What are you doing?
Mster: Jesus hopping.

Thanks Mster

Lady at church: You have a big belly Mster.
Mster: NO, Mommy has a big belly.

Its only September

Yesterday Mster and I had a discussion about Christmas. She wanted to see some family members and I told her she had to wait until Christmas. I've been using that word a lot around here "wait till Christmas" so I decided I better explain what it was.

So, yesterday at dinner, I began to talk about Christmas. Needless to say Mster is very excited about Jesus' birthday. She was also excited that he would get to blow out birthday candles and have birthday hats. We had to have another discussion about the fact that Jesus would not physically be present for his birthday to which she ever so graciously informed me that she would help blow out the candles.

Its Raining!!!

Today Mster and I had playgroup at the greatest park ever built. Its gated. It has 2 different age specific parks. It has a water fountain. It has benches. It has lots of grass. It has shade. Its not a dark colour so the kids burn their legs going down the slide. Its the best.

While there it started to rain. Out came the umbrellas. We do not own an umbrella (much to Msters dismay. She LOVES umbrellas!) and so Mster was forced to scam some cover from a friend of ours while I stood nearby soaking. It was pretty fun.

After a few minutes we decided it wasn't going to stop and started heading to the car. At this point Mster found an umbrella and began to take cover. She continued to take cover inside the house.

Here is Mster's umbrella. Apparently it even has a button.

Popsicle Joke of the Day

What did the lawyer name his daughter?

Did she just say breast pump?

Mster walked up to me on the couch today and asked to see my stomach. (open your stomach) I did and she told me that baby brother had woken up and was hungry. Then she ran off to presumably get food. I was interested in what she was going to bring her brother. She brought him a breast pump.

Also...I asked Mster if she wanted to feel baby brother kick. She looked at me, looked at my stomach and started forcably telling him to not kick and that kicking was mean. Over and over again.

On a different note...

A friend of mine posted an interesting post about male childcare workers and I am interested in the opinions of those who read my blog.

Interested for 2 reasons:

1. Many of you have legal knowledge that might shed some light on the topic.

2. Many of you have opinions.

Countdown

In case anybody wants to know I have 7 weeks to the Svevent.

Repetition is so funny

Arfanser: I have a good wife.
Mster: I have a good wife too.

Can you get any lower?

Yesterday I caught Mster half out of her crib. She was straddling the edge and leaning more outside than in. A little scary although I do realize that every child has to figure out how to climb out of their crib at some point and every child probably did a header in the process.

But I am not ready for any head trauma injuries yet so after a botched attempt on my part to fix it alone yesterday (if by alone I mean having Mster crawling all over me with her own screwdriver "helping") Arfanser and I successfully lowered it to its final notch. This is it. She figures this out and its onto the toddler bed. While it would be nice to get the toddler bed out of the computer room, I am not ready to ditch the crib yet. I have some definate separation anxiety.

Squishy?

Today Mster started referring to me as "Squishy". Well, not really Squishy but the real name behind the cybersquishy. She thought my reaction was hilarious and I've been doing damage control since this afternoon. I've finally gotten my response to a point where I don't smile and can actually look at her in the eye and tell her to start calling me Mommy.

Baking Day!

In an effort to start getting ready for Sven, Mster and I spent the morning baking goods for our freezer.

I made muffins and banana bread.



Mster made muffins too...



I gave her the yellow bowl and some ingrediants. It was her brilliant idea to get the ice cube trays and fill them.

A Nice Boy!!

For the record these people are considered nice boys by Mster. The list was thought up entirely on her own and spontaneously revealed to me during our drive to the grocery story yesterday.

In order...

1. Uncle D
2. Uncle M
3. Grandma (retracted after a brief discussion the gender of grandma)
4. Matt
5. Fishfrog
6. Daddy

Here's the proof...

Discussions held by some friends tonight sparked questions that I could not answer.

Here are some sites to help clarify:

1. Man stuck in chocolate

2. Garbage disposals in New York City

Literal Translation

I was at a friends house yesterday. Mster decided to play the piano. She wanted to turn the pages to the music book to get a new song but the book was old and I was worried that it would tear. I said: "Mster, we have to put these books away. You are just going to have to play songs out of your head." To which Mster started banging on the piano with her forehead. Oops.

Families

Me: Who is in your family?
Mster: Mommy, Grandma and Cinderella.

The Concept of Pretend

I'm trying to teach Mster the concept of pretending. Its not really working but we're getting there slowly. She will pretend to eat pretend food and say its delicious.

However today she took my purse, put it over her shoulders and announced she was going to the hospital to see baby brother. I told her that sounded fun and I hoped she had a good time. She responded by asking me to open the front door.

She also cracked me up when she told Cster to tickle me. Once he started tickling me she ran over to an area of the room she isn't allowed to be in and started to get into things. I almost died laughing. When we stopped to ask her what she was doing she responded by looking at Cster and telling him to tickle me more. What a little sneak.

My 10 Books of the Summer

I recently told Arfanser that I was going to post the 10 books that I read for the summer reading program with our public library and a little blurb on each. Unfortunately, I didn't finish before him and he posted first. Not that I'm competitive or bitter.

1. The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd) - This was for my book club. I novel about life in the 60's in the south with a runaway girl and her black nanny that escape to a bee farm run by a family of black sisters. good book.

2. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Jeans (David Sedaris) - I read the book review on an inflight magazine so got it but sadly I found no mention of corduroy or jeans in this book. The author is supposed to be a comedic writer but his musings/anecdotes on life as a gay man in a supposedly disfunctional family were not that amusing. not good book.

3. Galileo's Daughters (Dava Stovel) - This nonfiction read is based on letters written by Galileo's illegitamate daughter (written from her convent) to the astronomy genius. I was looking forward to the social and familial aspects of the book but struggled to get through the initial pages of scientific star stuff. But I did it. I thought the book would be more about the letters but the author more uses the letters to give a chronological account of Galileo's life and life in the area at the time. good book.

4. Myths, Lies and Downright Stupidity (John Stossel) - I watched some 'news' show on a friday night based on this book so got it out of interest. It's only worth was that it was a quick read to add to my list. The book is set up as this is the myth and then, this is why its a myth. Simple concept but some of the myths he was apparently disproving I know for a fact to be true. If you lie about my religion I find it hard to find credibility in anything else you say even if everything else is true. not good book.

5. Not Buying It (Judith Levine) - This book had so much potential but was not at all what I hoped it would be. A lady convinces her partner that they shouldn't buy anything they don't need for a year and then chronicles it month by month. The concept sounded good to me. They didn't go out to dinner. They didn't get magazines. They didn't buy packaged food or alcohol. They didn't buy gifts. Again an interesting concept. I thought it might be thought provoking but instead the author spends a good portion of her time talking about daily life and political and social views that have nothing to do with consumer spending. There was a whole chapter on how she specifically she lobbied during the 2004 presidential elections. And there was no real conclusion. No big moment that she captured well to really solidifiy what she had just gone through. not good book.

6. The Five Lessons a Millionaire Taught Me About Life and Wealth (Richard Evans) - another easy read with nothing too earth shattering. not a good book for me but it might be good for someone else.

7. Jpod (Douglas Coupland) - I was first introduced to Mr. Coupland with Microserfs a great fictional novel and have read a few of his subsequent books too. I enjoy his writing style and story telling. This novel was interesting but nothing spectacular. I guess after awhile I hope that authors improve and grow in their writing but I feel that this is the same old Coupland. The book is about a bunch of videogame coders who are working on a game for a big company. Its style is definately interesting. I mean what novel do you know that has 12 pages of prime numbers with one non-prime number randomnly put in for you to find (odd games that the coders played with each other). I'm going to say good book for someone who feels that a book about game coders might be interesting. and there is a lot of swearing which I was not fond of. good book.

8. Confederates in the Attic (Tony Horwitz) - Nonfictional account of the author's journey through the South (capitalized for a reason) and the people he meets particularly in relation to the Civil War and Civil Rights. good book.

9. The Second Time Around (Mary Higgins Clark) - brain candy alert. I did not enjoy this book. I was looking forward to a silly novel and was thoroughly disppointed. Stupid storyline. Stupid characters and stupid ending. not good book.

10. Magazines - so I sort of cheated a little. I needed to get my book club book read and it wasn't going to happen before the library deadline and magazines counted so they became my 10th but I read a lot of magazines this summer so I don't feel too bad. I monthly read: Reader's Digest (not as good as I remembered it being when I was younger), Parenting (probably the best parenting magazine out there in my opinion although the 2 I read this summer were not my favorite) and the Ensign (a church magazine, always a good read)

Telling it like it is

Yesterday Mster and I picked up Cster from the church where he had been at scout camp. Here is the conversation which took place in the car afterwards.

Cster: What's Daddy going to do when he gets home?
Mster: Take a shower.
Cster: That's right. Daddy is stinky.
Mster: Daddy smell poopy.



On a non Mster note - Cster and I were watching tv last night when a commercial for a man who could train us and help us get a license for a concealed weapon came on the air. This was his slogan: Concealed weapons mean less crime.

Happy Birthday to You!!

or as Mster would say it...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAKE MSTER*!!!

(pictures of cake to come soon)

*do you think she knows her blog name?

Birthday Cake Party

Yes its another post about Birthday Cake. Yes I feel it should be capitalized. For the amount of time I spend everyday discussing this topic with Mster you should all be grateful all the posts aren't about Birthday Cake. We've been trying to come up with a good birthday cake idea since we are having an entire 1 hour open house party centered entirely around cake and ice cream. I can't come up with anything. I ask Mster what she wants on her cake and she says "birthday cake" and I ask her what she wants on her birthday cake and she looks at me like I've asked her to write a dissertation on Marxism. Erg.

And because I feel we need a little reminiscing. Here is the cake from last year:

Fun Game

Here's a fun game Mster made up this morning.

Mster stands in the corner facing the wall.
I say "Where's Mster?"
She replies "There she is"
I hold out my arms
Mster runs over and gives me a big hug and a kiss
repeat.

This must be done in exactly this order. Arms can not go out before she says "there she is". don't even try it.

Beaches?

As anyone seen the beach, Mster is looking for it?

The truth will set you free

I love this stage that Mster is in where she tells us everything. I have to admit it does get annoying when I have to hear a detailed play by play on absolutely everything that she does but its also nice to know that she wants to share. I also appreciate that she is not selective about what she shares, good or bad.

Here are some good ones of late:

1) I'm spitting
2) I'm down (after repeatedly being told she couldn't get down from the table)
3) I'm touching the barbecue
4) I have daddy's phone
5) I'm touching the computer

I know there will be a time when I am not so lucky in her revealing her misbehaviour.

On another note Mster has found her nipples. After every bath she looks in the mirror points to her chest with her two little fingers and yells "LOOK my have 2 nipples". I know she's doing it for a response and I have to admit I give her what she wants everytime. Who couldn't laugh at that?

Quirks of our Morning

We had to do some errands today and I just found some things quite odd or quirky. 1st was the post office that had a certified letter waiting for me (or so I thought). I've never been to my actual designated post office before and had no clue where it was. I'd like to say directions and maps are one thing I'm not too bad at so when the internet went down this morning I pulled out my trusty map and attempted to locate the address. Hmm...maybe mapquest has numbed my abilities but there were 3 streets with the same name in 3 different quadrants with no way of figuring out which was the right one (and Mster dancing on the spread out map on the floor, albeit a cute distraction, still a distraction). I finally succombed to calling the post office to ask for directions and got no answer. No automated person telling me to press 1 for English, nothing. What was an internet free girl to do? If you guessed go try the internet to see if it was up again, you're right. Mapquest did not fail me this time and we were off.

At the post office I was slightly amused by the HUGE mural on the wall. You see this post office is in a lower income neighbourhood. There were windows blocking me from jumping over the counter and attacking my post office employee (not something I've seen at any of the other post offices I've gone to). And yet, the mural depicted a very not lower class suburb of our metro area in the 1800's. Parasoled ladies being helped into horse drawn carriages by top hatted men on beautifully manicured lawns. Not one non-white person in the mural. Very interesting difference to the actual neighbourhood that was not filled with horse drawn carriages, well manicured lawns, but instead filled with boarded up houses and businesses and streets and sidewalks filled with gravel.

After leaving the post office empty handed (if you don't count Mster's sticky hands) as apparently the post office doesn't have my certified letter (although I am quite confident that the lady behind the metal and glass filled windows who wrote a small post it note to remind herself to go look again for hte letter and give it to my postman will indeed do so and I'll get my letter shortly) we headed to the Birthday Cake Store known to the rest of the world as Dollars R Us. Mster is still VERY excited by anything birthday related and calls everything birthday related birthday cake. There is: Happy Birthday Cake Birthday cake hats Birthday cake balloons Birthday cake cards Birthday cake party I think you get the idea. On the way Mster got a bit impatient and started repeating over and over again "Birthday Cake store, where are you, oh birthday cake store". I could not muffle a laugh when she enthusiastically pointed out her window and yelled "there you are birthday cake store". It was the most ghetto liquor store I have ever seen.

We finally made it to Dollar Store Mania and I promised Mster she could walk around the store herself and not ride in a cart. At this point I would like to apologize to everybody for not bringing my camera because Mster immediately found a floppy hat and Dora umbrella and proceeded to wear both and walk around the store in similar fashion to the parasol filled mural we saw at our previous location. I almost died laughing. Finally "birthday cake" items were purchased and we bid a tearful farewell to the hat and umbrella and made it home.

I will NOT panic...the Update

After hours and hours and 2 different crews consisting of what I counted as 8 men going in and out of the bathroom about every 10 minutes they finished leaving the bathroom in a somewhat better state than when they arrived but definately a better state than the pictures of the previous post.

Better in the sense that they painted the entire bathroom and not just the corner where the hole was. Considering we had mold growing up by the ceiling that was a pretty positive improvement.

Not better is that I use the word entire rather loosely in that no tape was used in the painting so instead of using paintbrushes to do the finer edges they just stopped the rollers early.

Not better is that its the same ugly offwhite colour that is our entire house.

Not better in that we had to throw out a lot of stuff that was in the bathroom like toothbrushes and other toiletries.

Better that they did attempt to clean up.

Not better that we still had to scrub plaster peices and dust after they left.

But they left and its done and I promise to return to regular scheduled Mster cute stuff in future posts.

I will NOT panic!!!

About 30 minutes after Mster went down for a nap I heard a knock at the door. 2 construction guys stood there. One of them I recognized as part of the plumbing workers that had to come for the mold incident. Apparently the apartment upstairs that they are building has a tub that doesn't drain properly and the only way to fix it is to cut a hole in my ceiling to get access. I'm not panicking. Really.

We've reached THAT time...

There comes a time in every parents life where things really start to change. That is the time when you have to really watch what you are saying. Here are 3 examples:

1. When you leave your house to go to a movie and come home to find your daughter awake and a bit scared that you're not there and Cster tells her you went to see Big Bird at the movies (the big tv) and for the next 3 nights she will not go to sleep for fear that you will leave her to go see Big Bird.

2. When Cster tells you to "shut up" and Mster immediately repeats it while looking right at you. (He was joking! We all know he's a great person)

3. When Cster is on the phone with family and tells them that we've found out things are good with Sven and that he has 10 fingers and 10 toes and I jump in (thinking I'm funny) and say "and a P-n-s*" and Mster repeats it over and over and over again.

We've entered a new era in our household. I'm not quite sure we're ready for it.

* I do not want my site to come up on a search engine because I used that appropriate word for male genit--ia :)

In case you needed to know...

This morning Mster gave me a list of all the places she's used the bathroom.

Happy Birthday Cake

To say that Mster is excited that tomorrow is my birthday party is the understatement of the week. She is ECSTATIC! When she's not belting out mexican tunes she talking about our "friend A-- make birthday cake". Which is followed by where is the cake? Where is the party? and it goes back to full circle with Mster telling me she's going to be eating bday cake very soon.

Mster's Channeling her Mexican Elvis

Yesterday Mster repeatedly said "thank you. thank you very much." throughout the day instead of just thank you without any prompting. I can't wait till I teach her how to curl her lip. Its going to be awesome.

Today Mster would not stop singing a mexican song. I can't remember the name of it but its a traditional one that has a lot of "eye yie yie yies" in it. Its hilarious.

Its all in your attitude...

Its all in your attitude and right now mine sucks. We are getting new neighbours in a few weeks and so our housing people decided that these people needed a whole new apartment and ordered a team of 6+ people to come evryday for 2 weeks (and counting) from 8AM to 5:30PM. These men will smoke in the apartment which blows into our hallways and even lingers in our front yard and they threw their butts in our backyard until I asked them to stop (to their credit they did pick them up right away after I mentioned it too them too). But today has been my limit. There is drilling. There is banging. There is SOOOO much noise. AND THEY TURNED THE WATER OFF!!!! I hate that they turn the water off and don't even warn me that its going to happen so I come home from grocery shopping ready to get lunch and do water things and I can't do them. Erg!!!!!!

And now onto the regularly scheduled Mster blog programming. On the way home from the grocery store this was the conversation that ensued. I didn't tape it so its obviously not word for word but I've tried to at least capture that annoyance/cuteness of it all.

Mster: my juice is hot. hot. hot. no warm. warm juice. hot car seat. warm juice. hot, no warm. warm juice. where daddy go. where daddy go. my have sour cream. sour cream. my have mommy's pretty* mama. my have mama's pretty.
Me: no, you can't have my pretty
Mster: MY HAVE MAMA's PRETTY!!!
Me: no, I need it.
Mster: no MY have mama's pretty (whining)
Me: Mster, you have your own pretty. you don't need mine.
Mster: My have purple pretty.
Me: actually its a prink pretty.
Mster: no WHITE pretty.
Me: okay
Mster: no PINK pretty.
Me: okay
Mster: where daddy go. where green light. watch out car coming. watch out. watch out. watch out. where golf go. where golf go. FOUR. four, people four. where golfing go? four golf. my go to park? park mama, park.
Me: no Mster. We are going home to put away the groceries, have lunch and take a nap.
Mster: my have sourcream?

*pretty = hair elastics

Treat time

I've been telling Mster all day that we're going to Panda's and Warm Fuzzy's house. I feel that she does better when she knows what's going on and since we're going to put her to bed there I want her to be comfortable.

We were talking about it again when she woke up from her nap when all of a sudden she got VERY excited and told me that there would be treats (not previously mentioned) and that she was going to have one at their house.

I say this with no pressure to Panda and Warm Fuzzy to actually have treats. Mster also informed me that she would be sleeping in a yellow crib and not a green crib and I will not be running out this afternoon to fulfill her colour request. :)

Who knew Stuffed Animals were such Voyers?

Today Mster insisted that 4 of her stuffed animals watched as she went to the bathroom. She brought them in, lined them up against the wall and smiled. Then she poked them all in the eyes and checked their bums. For the record all of them had poop in their bum except the green bear. Good job green bear!

Stop and smell the roses

For many they need to take some time out of their busy life (or from sitting in front of the tv) to smell the roses, well, smelling the roses isn't allowed in our house. Roses have thorns that hurt little girls when they grab the stems to bring the roses closer to their face. So, instead Mster stops to look at ants. We can not go for a walk anywhere without Mster fascinated all the thousands of ants on the ground. She tries to pick them up. She smooshes them with sticks. She just points and yells for anybody to hear that "we have ants".

Its started already...

Everytime we get in the car Mster and I have a "discussion" over who is going to drive. First she tells me she's going to drive. When I tell her I'm driving, she states that she is going to drive. Perhaps she feels if its sounds factual than it will be real. Her last ditch effort is always a whining asking to drive.

Only 14 years to go...

Oh My...Part 2

Today Mster woke up and immediately asked for her heels. Then she found a "purse"* and she was all ready to go. We were off to the grocery store and she asked to wear a dress too. So she had on a dress, heels, and a purse while shopping. I wondered if people at the store thought I had dressed her myself.

While I was getting ready (read, taking a shower) I thought Mster was tucked away snuggly in front of the TV watching Sesame Street. I mean we did have a big farewell which included an explanation of where Mommy was going and big hugs and kisses. But, no sooner had the water turned on when I heard Mster at the door talking to me and knocking. The knocking grew much louder and I couldn't figure out what she was using to make the noise. I finally opened the door to find the culprit.

Mster had taken off her shoe and was pounding it on the door. One would think that when I opened it I would see some major catastrophe which caused the need for incessant pounding but all Mster said to me was "Mama, my shoe fell off".

So finally shopping was done and groceries were being put away. I was a little worried that Mster would find some of the special treats that I had picked up for Cster and I so I was trying to put them away fast. I don't know why I needed to worry. I asked Mster what she wanted for lunch, turned around and saw her in this predicament.

In case you can't tell my cropping job, she's eating broccoli. She found the package, opened it up, sat at her table and began munching away.

*her purse is a Easter Egg basket. I had to convince her that the only way she could take the purse shopping was if she emptied out the eggs. It was definately a hot struggle until I told her she could carry the keys and her drink in the purse instead. Oh the delight and glee of an almost 2 year old.

Oh My

In case you haven't noticed from the last few posts (minus the bragging one, of course) Mster is starting to become quite the independent lady. Today I told her she had to get dressed because we were going to go to the post office. This is what she decided she HAD to wear.





















I had picked out the shirt with another pair of pants. BUT Mster insisted on wearing the matching pants and then insisted on wearing her fancy shoes. Notice the high heels. She wore the shoes all morning.

Bragging Time!

Look what I did...

The power of imitation

Sometimes when Cster and I ask Mster to do something, she ignores us. Whenever this happens to us, we ask Mster to look at us and when she does we repeat what we are saying in a more firm tone.

This morning Mster has started demanding our attention by repeatedly saying "look me" and then telling us something.

Er...UhOh.

Sorry Mster, you can't reach everything

Mster just realized at lunch today that she can't reach everything that she wants to. She hurt her knee and asked me to kiss it better "under the knee". I did it (getting the wrong knee at first). Mster then decided to kiss it better herself (under the knee) but just sat there confused that she couldn't reach it. You don't want to laugh but it was pretty funny. That in addition to already being ready for a nap caused quite an internal commotion.

After months of begging and pleading Mster finally has a pool. When I went originally to get her one they were all sold out and her request has been daily ever since. Our neighbour informed me yesterday that the store had ordered more and gotten them in. (very informative that a 3 year old knows the stocking situation of a major department store) So, today I took a chance and went and I'm sure Mster is now dreaming sweet dreams of splashing and swimming in her orange beast. Everybody's welcome to ditch work and school and whatever else is important to them to take a dip*.


*Unless you are under 3 feet, "take a dip" means put your feet in. :)

What kind of mother am I?

So today I took Mster to a park. It was scorching hot. The playground was dark green and any attempt by the kids to play on it resulted in screams of "its too hot". But I was waiting for some friends so decided to stick it out till they came. Mster found a water fountain that spurted water and immediately fell in love and drenched herself. All I could do was sit there and wish I was 2 years old too. Soon other kids caught on to the water oasis and attempted to join Mster. Their parents told them to stop so they wouldn't get wet. There was no way I was going to make her stop. It was hot. It was safe and so what if she got a little wet? I saw a bunch of parents looking at her like she was crazy. I responded by turning to look at the parents as if they were crazy. What kind of mother am I? Luckily my friends came shortly after and both mom's encouraged their kids to play in the water instead of the playground too. And then, eventually, the area was swarming with kids whose parents had initially said no.

Sven has been confirmed to be appropriately gender named. All "boy parts" (the technical term the doctor used) were accounted for.

No Thank You Mama

Yesterday at dinner I told Mster she had to finish her tomatoes. She responded: No thank you Mama.

Spit Kisses

I spent a better part of this morning running away from Mster's who thought "spit kisses*" were the funniest thing in the world.

*spit kisses = Mster blowing bubbles with spit and trying to kiss you on the lips

A Big Frown

A bird pooped on me at the zoo today. I hate birds at the zoo.

Just taking the train to work

This morning Mster got on her little car and "drove" it to the kitchen where she announced she was driving to the train to go to work.

A note to Sven...

I am not pleased at your attempt to conquer my waistline. I realize you were dubbed "Sven the Conqueror" but do not feel you have to begin your attacks so early in your life.

And on another note, Calm Down. Whats the rush? You've got all your life to kick and jump and move every which way. Why torture me now with all those crazy dance moves?

Tidbits of the week...

1. I told Mster to tell Cster it was bedtime. She ran into the room and Cster asked her what time it was. She looked at her "watch" and announced "10 minutes".

2. Guess who sang the loudest at church today out of key and with mumbling words like la ah ya da la la yaya da?

3. Whatever you do, do not tell Mster we are going to water the plants unless you are prepared to go exactly at that moment. Her Grandma told her she could help her water the plants on the phone tonight and Mster was at the door looking for "tamma's sandals" and putting on her boots. Oh the tears and dissappointment at not understanding the concept of "in 6 days".

4. No matter how much she begs, do not let Mster eat cereal other than at breakfasttime and no matter how much she tries to convince you that she has/had cereal for lunch and dinner too, she didn't.

Happy Mothers Day

"Happy Mommy Day!"

The best words a mom can hear today.

See

Cster: Mster, Are you allowed to touch Daddy's computer?
Mster: No...see.
Cster: that's right. You can only look at Daddy's computer.
Mster: (leans in as close as she possibly can)
Cster: remember Mster you can only see Daddy's computer.
Mster: (hitting her chin on the computer)
Cster: Stop Mster. You can't touch Daddy's computer. Are you allowed to touch Daddy's computer?
Mster: No.
Mster: Daddy touch?
Cster: Yes, Daddy can touch his computer.
Mster: (grabs Cster's finger and starts banging it on the computer)

Determination

1st thing is that my garden rocks. Everything is growing. Life is good. Mster is super excited about our garden and all our indoor experiments too. Every morning I wake up and she informs me that we must go "water plant". It might be raining outside but those plants need watering. It may have just rained for 36 hours straight but why are we not outside right at this very moment to "water plant".

2nd thing is Mster's obsession with performing tasks. There are certain "jobs" that I have let Mster do once that she now claims to be hers and if I perform these tasks I must face her rath*. The latest is the laundry. I let her put the soap in once and now she demands soap everytime. Dont' even bother explaining that you don't need soap to just put clothes into the dryer. We are doing laundry and adding soap is a part of laundry and Mster is going to put soap in the washing machine.

Silly silly girl.

*Her rath being a very pitiful face covered in her hands as she hurls herself at the couch and wimpers.

Daily Pondering

1. Why is it that sometimes Mster is very good at telling me when she wants to use the potty and using it successfully and other times she refuses to admit that she has to go poop when she is pooping as she tells me she's not.

Me: Are you going poop?
Mster: No
Me: Do you need to use the potty?
Mster: No
Me: You just went poop. Now we need to go to your room and change your diaper?
Mster: Tay (then walking to her bedroom and standing in front of the change table)

Huh?

2. Not a daily pondering but an amusing anecdote. Mster thinks she has a baby brother in her belly. (for the record we don't know the sex). She points to her stomach and tells me she's got a baby brother inside. I hate to disappoint her but I tell her everytime that I am the one carrying the babies in our house.

Oh Lady Pie Where art thou?

At thanksgiving Cster gave Mster an inordinate amount of pie and she wouldn't stop talking about pie for weeks after. It drove me nuts.

The Saturday before Easter we had a potluck dinner and one of our guests brought pie. Mster still asks me everyday for pie and everyday I tell her that I don't have any pie. (this time she's added a reminder to me that we eat pie with our mouth, very helpful) She always responds by our having no pie by asking where the "lady pie" is. I might just curl up in a ball and die from the amount of times I have to tell her that the lady took the pie home and will not come back and bring her more pie.

Top 10 Sitcoms

We are debating the top ten sitcoms in our house.

Anybody want to weigh in? Must be an American sitcom on network TV.

Cster's
1. Seinfeld
2. Simpsons
3. MASH
4. My Name is Earl
5. Cheers
6. Friends
7. Gilligan's Island
8. I Love Lucy
9. Happy Days
10. Scrubs

Mine
I'm still thinking.

Bathtime Fun!

The other day Mster was taking a bath. I was washing the back of her leg when she let out a very loud fart.

Me: Mster, what do you say? (to which she normally replies 'scoob me')
Mster: (looking behind her) Where poop?

A whole sentence!

This morning while I was in the shower Mster told Cster that she wanted "my daddy read blue train book". For those with counting issues thats a 6 word sentence. Hopefully after the numerous requests as to Fish Frog's whereabouts, he will believe she can actually speak now.

This morning, after putting the Mster to bed 1 1/2 hours late, she woke up 40 minutes early. Hmm.... She also got very distraught by the chairs still in our living room from our Easter Potluck the night before. "People chairs".

Interesting Tidbit

From the SSN database :

There were 887 people who registered their kid Kennedy in 2000's.
There were 881 people who registered their kid Oswaldo in 2000's.

Trader Joe's

Today Mster and I went to Traders Joe's. I love that store. We needed to stock up on this puffy popcorn that we keep eating of our neighbours. The store has mini carts for the kids to push and so I thought Mster might enjoy pushing her own cart. However, Mster is like a drunken sailor when given her own shopping cart (even when it is small) and she rammed into every aisle possible. The problem was that I made such a big deal about how she was going to get her own cart that she wouldn't let me touch hers (it was hers). Finally we made it to the snack section and while I was trying to figure out which popcorn my neighbour buys she filled up her little cart with 5 bags of trips and was moving on to the next aisle. Guess she decided to do her own shopping.

One...Two...Four!!!

Mster has started to count. She can and has counted to 10 two times but since then has outright refused to do it again.

Right now her favourite number is 4. She likes to throw it in at random and then giggle. This morning while reading a favourite counting book she threw out all counting rules and just yelled "forty, forty, forty, hahahaha" over and over followed by congratulatory clapping (on her part, not mine).

Dirt Lady...Where are you?

Its official...I'm planting a garden.

Mster and I went to the store yesterday and bought oodles of seeds and dirt and other planting wonders. We were helped by a lovely lady. Mster calls her the dirt lady and has taken quite a fascination with her. We went to the same store twice yesterday and had to go again today but only got helped by dirt lady the first time. Yet everytime we are in the store, near the store or randomnly around the house she requests to know where she is.

Where dirt lady?

or

Oh no, where dirt lady?

This girl is persistant. She is persistant. If she wants something she will not stop till she gets it. No amount of destraction works unless it its of the sugar variety and then she's persistant about getting that. Her persistance could be about something as simple as going into the laundry basket but she will not except any substitutes until she is in. The moment she's in she will entertain new thought and probably immediately request to get out of the basket but until she's in don't even bother.

Can you repeat that please?

Mster can do 2 and 3 syllable words but some words just get shortened no matter how many times I try and tell her the correct pronunciation.

buttons - butt
buckles - buck

also:

tomato - meemo
oatmeal - eh-be-dep

What did you say?

Today Mster decided to walk almost the whole way home from the library either holding her pant legs up to her knees or kissing the ground.

As of late Mster mixes up her F's and her S's. Some S words begin with an F. This becomes a little worrisome when she points out her sock to me.

Where to begin?

I'm just going to list the most recent stuff that happened because this week has been crazy for funny Mster stories.


1. Last Sunday, Mster goes into the aisle at church during the musical number and proceeds to dance.

2. After the musical number Mster gives a rousing round of applause followed by some hollers. For those who have never attended an LDS service, its a reverent event. No applause.

3. Sitting in the pew. Csters scout is sitting with us. We tell him not to let Mster out of the pew. So, he puts his legs to block the exit. Mster wriggles her way under his legs, gets herself into the aisle. She then punches both arms in the air simultaneously and yells "I did it!!"

4. After church we are standing in the hall. Mster sees all the people (halls are busy) and proceeds to wave frantically while yelling "bye people".

5. I tell Mster "I love you" while putting her down for a nap...she responds with "mmm hmmm". Like of course you do mom. but then turns the tables and says "I love you" back. aahh.

6. This morning I sneezed and Mster said "Bless you".

7. See Note 5: Mster has a bib that says I heart U on it. I told her it says I love you. Whever she sees it she now yells "I love me."

8. If you laugh at her she'll say "I funny"

9. Overheard numerous occasions"
Mster picks up the phone (or alternative)
Mster: Hi poop
Me: Who are you talking to?
Mster: poop
this goes for a lot of things. She has talked to all her uncles and friends. Somehow poop made the list

10. Taking a bath this morning Mster kept talking about poop so I took her out and put her on her potty and told her to push. She did and was successful. She got off, turned around, had a good look yelled "I did it!!" Punching her arms in the air.

Are you there readers? Its me, Squishy?

After careful consideration I've decided to retry the blog. This time I've got different goals.

It seems that Mster is stinking hilarious these days and I really need to record all the funny antics of our day. So, I'm going to use the blog to remember how funny she was and to pull up embarrassing stories when she brings home boys. I'm sure Sven will have his own sense of humour too and so he'll get some posts also.

Here is the warning:

1. Mster is dealing with things like potty training. If you don't like stories about poop, stay away. A lot of the humour happens in our bathroom.

2. I am expecting a little one and I am going to try and not let the blog be my rant on how much pregnancy is not for me. But I may have bad days and I may rant. On those days feel free to bring us dinner and play with Mster.

and with that...I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!