Lster is doomed

Mster is really into being Cinderella. When she is 'in character' you must refer to her as 'Cinderella'. Today she wanted to dance with Prince Charming who I thought was Lster but later found out it was me. I asked Mster who Lster was and she said "the Godmother".

I guess sex isn't an issue when playing pretend.

Although she has informed me that all the boys at her birthday will eat a 'Boots' cake because they are boys and all the girls will eat a "Dora" cake because they are girls. For the record there will be only one cake. All the boys will have to deal with it. I hope Mster can.

I was offended

In the elevator today in the library a man was wearing a shirt that said something about killing all lawyers would make a better place. It had a source. I think Henry IV - Shakespeare or something like that.

I know that the world has this hatred for lawyers and I've heard all the jokes but I just don't think its right that people can wear stuff like that. I mean its ignorant and judgemental and classing groups of people in a heirarchal manner. This man felt he was better than all the lawyers in the world.

Well one of my friends (who may even read this) prosecutes child abusers in a really poor county with not a lot of hope. Is she scum?

I guess the ironic thing about it all is that all the lawyers out there would probably argue that the shirt was a freedom of speech and a right and he should be able to wear it if he wants. I mean I'm not saying we should censure t-shirts but I jsut wish people wouldn't be so stupid.

Oops...silly mommy!

Mster: Look at the Cinderella I drew.
Me: I like it. That 's a great Cinderella.
Mster: No, that's a spider.

Bad or Good

Mster: Do you need to pee badly?
Me: Yes
Mster: You should pee goodly mommy.

Bone Hoses and Green Horses

Mster: What colour is the hose in my body?
Me: Uh...I don't know...What colour is the hose in your body?
Mster: pink...and purple...with Dora and Boots on it.
Me: Really?
Mster: Yep
Me: What does the hose do?
Mster: It waters my bones.
Me: Do you have any other hoses?
Mster: Nope, just that one.


Mster: What colour of horse do you like Mommy?
Me: I like brown horses.
Mster: What colour of horse do you like Lster?
Me: What did he say?
Mster: He said 'green'.
Me: Wow...have you ever seen a green horse? I don;t think I've seen one before.
Mster: Yes, when I was in California. Not when I was in Calgary. I was only a wee tiny baby and I didn't see a green horse there.

I think my brain is missing,,.or did she put it back

Today was a slightly rough day both physically and mentally. At one point I fell backwards onto the floor and decided to never get off my back again. Shortly thereafter my hair was pulled numerous times by 2 kids who thought my act of despair was a welcome invitation to crawl all over me. After a couple of elbowings and few kicks I finally got up to a seated position and told Mster that I was not well. She then proceeded to poke me with her finger into numerous locations asking "does that hurt". I finally admitted it was my stomach and my head to which the real story lies...

Mster quickly found her plastic play fork and announced that she would find my missing brain.

Mster: Is your brain lost?
Me: No
Mster: Is your brain lost yet?
Me: No
Mster: Is your brain lost yet?
Me: I guess so...I'm feeling my mind going.
Mster: I'm going to find it for you.

At this point she raised her plastic utensil to my forehead...

Me: WAIT...you are only allowed to preten put my brain back. You are not allowed to actually touch my head with that fork.

Mster to my amazement did it. She worked fast and quick. I didn't feel a thing and moments later proclaimed me fixed. I'm ready to send her off to mutant school.

Some people might be a little worried that their 2 year old is performing surgery on them with plastic forks but I for one don't have a problem. I hope the AMA doesn't have a problem with Mster's medical feat or with the fact that she performed it repeatedly over a 15 minute period.

Oh Mster

Mster has figured out that others don't look like her.

Mster: "Why does Dora have darker hair than me?"

Mster: (to the Tongan sister missionaries in our car) "Your skin is different than mine."

I have not done anything to talk about differences with her...she just came to that conclusion this week I guess.

And a classic line to go down in Mster history books.

Me: "What are you doing?"
MSter: "Um...I just want you to stay right there so you won't say no."

I got compared to Britney.

I got compared to Britney in my lack of posts lately.

Thanks Aunty Mav.

Mav: You aren't posting any pictures or anything these days.
Me: My stupid battery charger got packed and your mom's cam doesn't have video
Mav: That's like Brittany Spears telling her biggest fan that she hasn't come out with a good record in a long time. I know that no videos are being produced, I check everyday. Spears, you have no news for me. I RUN the fan club.
Me: I just got compared to Brit.
Mav: Brit in an unproductive period.
Me: That might just make the blog.

Don't call DFS

Mster: (Running up the stairs in front of her Grandpa) Don't worry Grandpa...I'm going so fast so my mommy doesn't beat me.

Lster is crawling.

I got High School Musical for my bday and Settlers of Catan. I rock.

The bestest bday present ever!!!

Me: (to Mster) Thanks for making birthday crowns with me today
Mster: Your welcome
Mster: (hugging me) I love you.

Random Ramblings

At church...
Mster: (while prancing an animal cracker on top of Lster's head) The animal is pooping on you.

Getting ready to go for the pool...
Cster: I'll only go to the pool if you want me to. Do you want me to go?
Mster: Definately (remember she's 2)

Etc...
Mster: Can I give Lster some milk from my nipples?

Introducing...

I'd like to formally introduce everybody to Lsters first tooth and to our new dog "Woohoo*". One of them is pretend.

*I'm not sure of the spelling. Is it just one name like Madonna, or Cher or is it Woo Hoo as in Mrs. Hoo, first name Woo.

You can't really see this but this was where I had to get my official "don't park in front of our house or else" signs.

I almost died laughing when I read the police stations slogan.

For those that can't see it says:

St Louis Police Department - the "Real Police"

Congratulations Doo Doo...I think

A few weeks ago Mster informed me that Doo Doo had a baby in her tummy. I told Cster and he brought it up at dinner time.

Cster: So I hear Doo Doo has a baby in her tummy.
Mster: Uh Huh
Cster: When is it coming out?
Mster: In about a half of an hour. She's going to the hospital.
Cster: Wow. How is she going to get to the hospital?
Me: Maybe Bah Bah could take her.
Mster: No. She's going to take herself.

There have been no other mentions of Doo Doo's baby. So I'm not sure how it all went. Doo Doo has come with us to some outdoor activities so its nice to know she's up and able to do some stuff.

Just when you think she gets the world

Me: Mster, Grandma said that she asked 2 girls at church if she could take them and us to the park when we move there.
Mster: (very excited) What are their names?
Me: I don't know. I'm sorry.
Mster: I know their names.
Me: Really, What are they?
Mster: Amy and the Kindergarden girl
Me: Huh
Mster: Do you know the Kindergarden girls name?
Me: No, Do you?
Mster: yes
Me: What is it?
Mster: the kindergarden girl (exasperated as if we've already gone through this already)
Me: Well, where does she live (trying to get a little more info to see who she's thinking of)
Mster: in the Hundred Acre Woods with the 3 bears.

Cute vs. Annoying

Cute: Mster telling me she wants a "smackeral of something"* yesterday morning
Annoying: Mster telling me she wants a "smackeral of something" 20 times yesterday morning and afternoon.

*"Smackeral of something" is from a Winnie the Pooh book that refers to having a snack...for those thinking why don't you just give her something, snacktime has cutoffs or else dinner/lunch won't be eaten. We aren't a free for all eating in this house.

Aspirations

Today as we left a friends house we saw a man mowing a lawn.

Later on during the drive home:

Mster: When I grow up I'm going to be a man so that I can lawnmower.
Me: Mster, Ladies can mow lawns too. Ladies can do anything they want to do.
Mster: (silence)

To Bah Bah, Doo Doo and Baby Jack

To Bah Bah, Doo Doo and Baby Jack*:
I can't see you yet you seem to be an important part of the Burrito life. I'm just writing to let you know it would be of great help if you could help out around here.

Bah Bah, you're in elementary school, you should be able to play with Mster a little bit. Don't always be conveniently gone when Mster wants you to play.

Doo Doo, you may love pre-school, but it doesn't' mean you have to be there all day. Come home and amuse Mster while I get some dishes done.

Baby Jack, you are Mster's baby. You are not my baby. For that reason I refuse to change you, carry you, feed you or any other task Mster tells me you want me to do. Mster's a big girl. She can help you. I will however reprimand you when you take Lster's toys. That is unacceptable behaviour, even for a baby I can't see.

Sincerely, Squishy

*Names have NOT been changed for anonymity. I don't think their are any imaginary friend stalkers out there and if there are, by all means, take them.

Who's Nina?

Mster made a new friend today.

With temperatures well in the 70's we were in no way going to miss out on some outside playtime. Outdoors we met a neighbour with a 5 year old girl also playing outside. The 2 girls became fast friends. The only issue was that Mster refused to call her by her real name. She would only refer to her as "Nina". I told her over and over again her name. I used her name in numerous sentences. Mster conversed with "Nina" that entire time and "Nina" understood what she was saying. And yet the poor girl was Nina.

Even as we were heading into our house you could hear the yells of the two of them.

"Bye Mster"

"Bye Nina"

Potty Humour

Mster sitting on the toilet...

Mster: What noise is coming?
Me: Uh...I don't know.
Mster: Its yucky and you can't eat it.
Me: (thinking) oh no
Mster: PEE!!! (followed by her body producing appropriate sound effects)