Happy Birthday Cake

To say that Mster is excited that tomorrow is my birthday party is the understatement of the week. She is ECSTATIC! When she's not belting out mexican tunes she talking about our "friend A-- make birthday cake". Which is followed by where is the cake? Where is the party? and it goes back to full circle with Mster telling me she's going to be eating bday cake very soon.

Mster's Channeling her Mexican Elvis

Yesterday Mster repeatedly said "thank you. thank you very much." throughout the day instead of just thank you without any prompting. I can't wait till I teach her how to curl her lip. Its going to be awesome.

Today Mster would not stop singing a mexican song. I can't remember the name of it but its a traditional one that has a lot of "eye yie yie yies" in it. Its hilarious.

Its all in your attitude...

Its all in your attitude and right now mine sucks. We are getting new neighbours in a few weeks and so our housing people decided that these people needed a whole new apartment and ordered a team of 6+ people to come evryday for 2 weeks (and counting) from 8AM to 5:30PM. These men will smoke in the apartment which blows into our hallways and even lingers in our front yard and they threw their butts in our backyard until I asked them to stop (to their credit they did pick them up right away after I mentioned it too them too). But today has been my limit. There is drilling. There is banging. There is SOOOO much noise. AND THEY TURNED THE WATER OFF!!!! I hate that they turn the water off and don't even warn me that its going to happen so I come home from grocery shopping ready to get lunch and do water things and I can't do them. Erg!!!!!!

And now onto the regularly scheduled Mster blog programming. On the way home from the grocery store this was the conversation that ensued. I didn't tape it so its obviously not word for word but I've tried to at least capture that annoyance/cuteness of it all.

Mster: my juice is hot. hot. hot. no warm. warm juice. hot car seat. warm juice. hot, no warm. warm juice. where daddy go. where daddy go. my have sour cream. sour cream. my have mommy's pretty* mama. my have mama's pretty.
Me: no, you can't have my pretty
Mster: MY HAVE MAMA's PRETTY!!!
Me: no, I need it.
Mster: no MY have mama's pretty (whining)
Me: Mster, you have your own pretty. you don't need mine.
Mster: My have purple pretty.
Me: actually its a prink pretty.
Mster: no WHITE pretty.
Me: okay
Mster: no PINK pretty.
Me: okay
Mster: where daddy go. where green light. watch out car coming. watch out. watch out. watch out. where golf go. where golf go. FOUR. four, people four. where golfing go? four golf. my go to park? park mama, park.
Me: no Mster. We are going home to put away the groceries, have lunch and take a nap.
Mster: my have sourcream?

*pretty = hair elastics

Treat time

I've been telling Mster all day that we're going to Panda's and Warm Fuzzy's house. I feel that she does better when she knows what's going on and since we're going to put her to bed there I want her to be comfortable.

We were talking about it again when she woke up from her nap when all of a sudden she got VERY excited and told me that there would be treats (not previously mentioned) and that she was going to have one at their house.

I say this with no pressure to Panda and Warm Fuzzy to actually have treats. Mster also informed me that she would be sleeping in a yellow crib and not a green crib and I will not be running out this afternoon to fulfill her colour request. :)

Who knew Stuffed Animals were such Voyers?

Today Mster insisted that 4 of her stuffed animals watched as she went to the bathroom. She brought them in, lined them up against the wall and smiled. Then she poked them all in the eyes and checked their bums. For the record all of them had poop in their bum except the green bear. Good job green bear!

Stop and smell the roses

For many they need to take some time out of their busy life (or from sitting in front of the tv) to smell the roses, well, smelling the roses isn't allowed in our house. Roses have thorns that hurt little girls when they grab the stems to bring the roses closer to their face. So, instead Mster stops to look at ants. We can not go for a walk anywhere without Mster fascinated all the thousands of ants on the ground. She tries to pick them up. She smooshes them with sticks. She just points and yells for anybody to hear that "we have ants".

Its started already...

Everytime we get in the car Mster and I have a "discussion" over who is going to drive. First she tells me she's going to drive. When I tell her I'm driving, she states that she is going to drive. Perhaps she feels if its sounds factual than it will be real. Her last ditch effort is always a whining asking to drive.

Only 14 years to go...

Oh My...Part 2

Today Mster woke up and immediately asked for her heels. Then she found a "purse"* and she was all ready to go. We were off to the grocery store and she asked to wear a dress too. So she had on a dress, heels, and a purse while shopping. I wondered if people at the store thought I had dressed her myself.

While I was getting ready (read, taking a shower) I thought Mster was tucked away snuggly in front of the TV watching Sesame Street. I mean we did have a big farewell which included an explanation of where Mommy was going and big hugs and kisses. But, no sooner had the water turned on when I heard Mster at the door talking to me and knocking. The knocking grew much louder and I couldn't figure out what she was using to make the noise. I finally opened the door to find the culprit.

Mster had taken off her shoe and was pounding it on the door. One would think that when I opened it I would see some major catastrophe which caused the need for incessant pounding but all Mster said to me was "Mama, my shoe fell off".

So finally shopping was done and groceries were being put away. I was a little worried that Mster would find some of the special treats that I had picked up for Cster and I so I was trying to put them away fast. I don't know why I needed to worry. I asked Mster what she wanted for lunch, turned around and saw her in this predicament.

In case you can't tell my cropping job, she's eating broccoli. She found the package, opened it up, sat at her table and began munching away.

*her purse is a Easter Egg basket. I had to convince her that the only way she could take the purse shopping was if she emptied out the eggs. It was definately a hot struggle until I told her she could carry the keys and her drink in the purse instead. Oh the delight and glee of an almost 2 year old.

Oh My

In case you haven't noticed from the last few posts (minus the bragging one, of course) Mster is starting to become quite the independent lady. Today I told her she had to get dressed because we were going to go to the post office. This is what she decided she HAD to wear.





















I had picked out the shirt with another pair of pants. BUT Mster insisted on wearing the matching pants and then insisted on wearing her fancy shoes. Notice the high heels. She wore the shoes all morning.

Bragging Time!

Look what I did...

The power of imitation

Sometimes when Cster and I ask Mster to do something, she ignores us. Whenever this happens to us, we ask Mster to look at us and when she does we repeat what we are saying in a more firm tone.

This morning Mster has started demanding our attention by repeatedly saying "look me" and then telling us something.

Er...UhOh.

Sorry Mster, you can't reach everything

Mster just realized at lunch today that she can't reach everything that she wants to. She hurt her knee and asked me to kiss it better "under the knee". I did it (getting the wrong knee at first). Mster then decided to kiss it better herself (under the knee) but just sat there confused that she couldn't reach it. You don't want to laugh but it was pretty funny. That in addition to already being ready for a nap caused quite an internal commotion.

After months of begging and pleading Mster finally has a pool. When I went originally to get her one they were all sold out and her request has been daily ever since. Our neighbour informed me yesterday that the store had ordered more and gotten them in. (very informative that a 3 year old knows the stocking situation of a major department store) So, today I took a chance and went and I'm sure Mster is now dreaming sweet dreams of splashing and swimming in her orange beast. Everybody's welcome to ditch work and school and whatever else is important to them to take a dip*.


*Unless you are under 3 feet, "take a dip" means put your feet in. :)

What kind of mother am I?

So today I took Mster to a park. It was scorching hot. The playground was dark green and any attempt by the kids to play on it resulted in screams of "its too hot". But I was waiting for some friends so decided to stick it out till they came. Mster found a water fountain that spurted water and immediately fell in love and drenched herself. All I could do was sit there and wish I was 2 years old too. Soon other kids caught on to the water oasis and attempted to join Mster. Their parents told them to stop so they wouldn't get wet. There was no way I was going to make her stop. It was hot. It was safe and so what if she got a little wet? I saw a bunch of parents looking at her like she was crazy. I responded by turning to look at the parents as if they were crazy. What kind of mother am I? Luckily my friends came shortly after and both mom's encouraged their kids to play in the water instead of the playground too. And then, eventually, the area was swarming with kids whose parents had initially said no.

Sven has been confirmed to be appropriately gender named. All "boy parts" (the technical term the doctor used) were accounted for.

No Thank You Mama

Yesterday at dinner I told Mster she had to finish her tomatoes. She responded: No thank you Mama.

Spit Kisses

I spent a better part of this morning running away from Mster's who thought "spit kisses*" were the funniest thing in the world.

*spit kisses = Mster blowing bubbles with spit and trying to kiss you on the lips

A Big Frown

A bird pooped on me at the zoo today. I hate birds at the zoo.

Just taking the train to work

This morning Mster got on her little car and "drove" it to the kitchen where she announced she was driving to the train to go to work.

A note to Sven...

I am not pleased at your attempt to conquer my waistline. I realize you were dubbed "Sven the Conqueror" but do not feel you have to begin your attacks so early in your life.

And on another note, Calm Down. Whats the rush? You've got all your life to kick and jump and move every which way. Why torture me now with all those crazy dance moves?

Tidbits of the week...

1. I told Mster to tell Cster it was bedtime. She ran into the room and Cster asked her what time it was. She looked at her "watch" and announced "10 minutes".

2. Guess who sang the loudest at church today out of key and with mumbling words like la ah ya da la la yaya da?

3. Whatever you do, do not tell Mster we are going to water the plants unless you are prepared to go exactly at that moment. Her Grandma told her she could help her water the plants on the phone tonight and Mster was at the door looking for "tamma's sandals" and putting on her boots. Oh the tears and dissappointment at not understanding the concept of "in 6 days".

4. No matter how much she begs, do not let Mster eat cereal other than at breakfasttime and no matter how much she tries to convince you that she has/had cereal for lunch and dinner too, she didn't.

Happy Mothers Day

"Happy Mommy Day!"

The best words a mom can hear today.

See

Cster: Mster, Are you allowed to touch Daddy's computer?
Mster: No...see.
Cster: that's right. You can only look at Daddy's computer.
Mster: (leans in as close as she possibly can)
Cster: remember Mster you can only see Daddy's computer.
Mster: (hitting her chin on the computer)
Cster: Stop Mster. You can't touch Daddy's computer. Are you allowed to touch Daddy's computer?
Mster: No.
Mster: Daddy touch?
Cster: Yes, Daddy can touch his computer.
Mster: (grabs Cster's finger and starts banging it on the computer)

Determination

1st thing is that my garden rocks. Everything is growing. Life is good. Mster is super excited about our garden and all our indoor experiments too. Every morning I wake up and she informs me that we must go "water plant". It might be raining outside but those plants need watering. It may have just rained for 36 hours straight but why are we not outside right at this very moment to "water plant".

2nd thing is Mster's obsession with performing tasks. There are certain "jobs" that I have let Mster do once that she now claims to be hers and if I perform these tasks I must face her rath*. The latest is the laundry. I let her put the soap in once and now she demands soap everytime. Dont' even bother explaining that you don't need soap to just put clothes into the dryer. We are doing laundry and adding soap is a part of laundry and Mster is going to put soap in the washing machine.

Silly silly girl.

*Her rath being a very pitiful face covered in her hands as she hurls herself at the couch and wimpers.

Daily Pondering

1. Why is it that sometimes Mster is very good at telling me when she wants to use the potty and using it successfully and other times she refuses to admit that she has to go poop when she is pooping as she tells me she's not.

Me: Are you going poop?
Mster: No
Me: Do you need to use the potty?
Mster: No
Me: You just went poop. Now we need to go to your room and change your diaper?
Mster: Tay (then walking to her bedroom and standing in front of the change table)

Huh?

2. Not a daily pondering but an amusing anecdote. Mster thinks she has a baby brother in her belly. (for the record we don't know the sex). She points to her stomach and tells me she's got a baby brother inside. I hate to disappoint her but I tell her everytime that I am the one carrying the babies in our house.

Oh Lady Pie Where art thou?

At thanksgiving Cster gave Mster an inordinate amount of pie and she wouldn't stop talking about pie for weeks after. It drove me nuts.

The Saturday before Easter we had a potluck dinner and one of our guests brought pie. Mster still asks me everyday for pie and everyday I tell her that I don't have any pie. (this time she's added a reminder to me that we eat pie with our mouth, very helpful) She always responds by our having no pie by asking where the "lady pie" is. I might just curl up in a ball and die from the amount of times I have to tell her that the lady took the pie home and will not come back and bring her more pie.

Top 10 Sitcoms

We are debating the top ten sitcoms in our house.

Anybody want to weigh in? Must be an American sitcom on network TV.

Cster's
1. Seinfeld
2. Simpsons
3. MASH
4. My Name is Earl
5. Cheers
6. Friends
7. Gilligan's Island
8. I Love Lucy
9. Happy Days
10. Scrubs

Mine
I'm still thinking.

Bathtime Fun!

The other day Mster was taking a bath. I was washing the back of her leg when she let out a very loud fart.

Me: Mster, what do you say? (to which she normally replies 'scoob me')
Mster: (looking behind her) Where poop?

A whole sentence!

This morning while I was in the shower Mster told Cster that she wanted "my daddy read blue train book". For those with counting issues thats a 6 word sentence. Hopefully after the numerous requests as to Fish Frog's whereabouts, he will believe she can actually speak now.

This morning, after putting the Mster to bed 1 1/2 hours late, she woke up 40 minutes early. Hmm.... She also got very distraught by the chairs still in our living room from our Easter Potluck the night before. "People chairs".

Interesting Tidbit

From the SSN database :

There were 887 people who registered their kid Kennedy in 2000's.
There were 881 people who registered their kid Oswaldo in 2000's.

Trader Joe's

Today Mster and I went to Traders Joe's. I love that store. We needed to stock up on this puffy popcorn that we keep eating of our neighbours. The store has mini carts for the kids to push and so I thought Mster might enjoy pushing her own cart. However, Mster is like a drunken sailor when given her own shopping cart (even when it is small) and she rammed into every aisle possible. The problem was that I made such a big deal about how she was going to get her own cart that she wouldn't let me touch hers (it was hers). Finally we made it to the snack section and while I was trying to figure out which popcorn my neighbour buys she filled up her little cart with 5 bags of trips and was moving on to the next aisle. Guess she decided to do her own shopping.

One...Two...Four!!!

Mster has started to count. She can and has counted to 10 two times but since then has outright refused to do it again.

Right now her favourite number is 4. She likes to throw it in at random and then giggle. This morning while reading a favourite counting book she threw out all counting rules and just yelled "forty, forty, forty, hahahaha" over and over followed by congratulatory clapping (on her part, not mine).

Dirt Lady...Where are you?

Its official...I'm planting a garden.

Mster and I went to the store yesterday and bought oodles of seeds and dirt and other planting wonders. We were helped by a lovely lady. Mster calls her the dirt lady and has taken quite a fascination with her. We went to the same store twice yesterday and had to go again today but only got helped by dirt lady the first time. Yet everytime we are in the store, near the store or randomnly around the house she requests to know where she is.

Where dirt lady?

or

Oh no, where dirt lady?

This girl is persistant. She is persistant. If she wants something she will not stop till she gets it. No amount of destraction works unless it its of the sugar variety and then she's persistant about getting that. Her persistance could be about something as simple as going into the laundry basket but she will not except any substitutes until she is in. The moment she's in she will entertain new thought and probably immediately request to get out of the basket but until she's in don't even bother.

Can you repeat that please?

Mster can do 2 and 3 syllable words but some words just get shortened no matter how many times I try and tell her the correct pronunciation.

buttons - butt
buckles - buck

also:

tomato - meemo
oatmeal - eh-be-dep

What did you say?

Today Mster decided to walk almost the whole way home from the library either holding her pant legs up to her knees or kissing the ground.

As of late Mster mixes up her F's and her S's. Some S words begin with an F. This becomes a little worrisome when she points out her sock to me.

Where to begin?

I'm just going to list the most recent stuff that happened because this week has been crazy for funny Mster stories.


1. Last Sunday, Mster goes into the aisle at church during the musical number and proceeds to dance.

2. After the musical number Mster gives a rousing round of applause followed by some hollers. For those who have never attended an LDS service, its a reverent event. No applause.

3. Sitting in the pew. Csters scout is sitting with us. We tell him not to let Mster out of the pew. So, he puts his legs to block the exit. Mster wriggles her way under his legs, gets herself into the aisle. She then punches both arms in the air simultaneously and yells "I did it!!"

4. After church we are standing in the hall. Mster sees all the people (halls are busy) and proceeds to wave frantically while yelling "bye people".

5. I tell Mster "I love you" while putting her down for a nap...she responds with "mmm hmmm". Like of course you do mom. but then turns the tables and says "I love you" back. aahh.

6. This morning I sneezed and Mster said "Bless you".

7. See Note 5: Mster has a bib that says I heart U on it. I told her it says I love you. Whever she sees it she now yells "I love me."

8. If you laugh at her she'll say "I funny"

9. Overheard numerous occasions"
Mster picks up the phone (or alternative)
Mster: Hi poop
Me: Who are you talking to?
Mster: poop
this goes for a lot of things. She has talked to all her uncles and friends. Somehow poop made the list

10. Taking a bath this morning Mster kept talking about poop so I took her out and put her on her potty and told her to push. She did and was successful. She got off, turned around, had a good look yelled "I did it!!" Punching her arms in the air.

Are you there readers? Its me, Squishy?

After careful consideration I've decided to retry the blog. This time I've got different goals.

It seems that Mster is stinking hilarious these days and I really need to record all the funny antics of our day. So, I'm going to use the blog to remember how funny she was and to pull up embarrassing stories when she brings home boys. I'm sure Sven will have his own sense of humour too and so he'll get some posts also.

Here is the warning:

1. Mster is dealing with things like potty training. If you don't like stories about poop, stay away. A lot of the humour happens in our bathroom.

2. I am expecting a little one and I am going to try and not let the blog be my rant on how much pregnancy is not for me. But I may have bad days and I may rant. On those days feel free to bring us dinner and play with Mster.

and with that...I'm back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its time for a hiatus

I hate season finales. It seems like forever till I'll see my favourite characters. I always want to protest the season finale by not watching it and therefore not missing the fact that its gone but it never works. I watch the last show and am left for months eagerly waiting in anticipation when my evening entertainment will return.

It has time for the Burrito to have a season finale. I've thought a lot about it. I started this blog with an idea of where it would head and I don't feel like its heading in that direction. And so I'm going to take a break and fill my time with other things that fulfill me and use the time to find more things I might like to do.

I'll still read your blogs. I'm not going anti-blog.

Thanks to all.

Squishy

So much to say...

First off I'd like to direct you this link. I hope it works. It made me giggle.

We're back from the Great North. It was quite an adventure. You try travelling alone with a toddler, a backpack and a big car seat and tell me about your adventure. AAAHHH!!! I think my arms might just fall right out of their sockets. Oops there goes one now. Thankfully I must have looked pitiful enough and I got help almost every step of the way except in Dulles. Dumb D.C.er's, you think you're too important to help out a weary mom. I especially enjoyed discovering that the airplane from Dulles to Cster was being borded from the outside. That was fun! (note sarcasm)

I did enjoy helping out a little old woman in the Montreal airport as we went through customs/immigration. She asked me to help her fill out the customs form. So here was I, her, Mster, all my stuff trying to read the form in short and slow words for her to understand.

Me: Do you have any weapons?
Kazakistan lady (KL): Huh?
Me: Do you have any guns or knifes?
KL: Huh?
Me: Do you understand me?
KL: No
Me: Do you know the word kill, dead, or murder?
KL: No
Me: hmmm
Me: Do you knowt he word meat?
KL: yes
Me: Using hand gestures as if I'm cutting meat, then holding up my hand, saying "knife".
KL: OH!!! No!!!! no knife!!!

This went on for 15 minutes. Nobody helped us. The immigration people watched us and laughed. Other passengers watched us and laughed. Mster just sat there thinking we were crazy.

I'd like to point out that 80% of the people around me in Montreal spoke french. This tells me that all these years when I've told people that Montreal is more english and Quebec City is more french. I've been wrong.

We stayed on St. Catherine's street/rue. We went to The Bay. Its a department store in Canada. In Calgary the store is 2 floors of boring regular department store stuff including families and older people buying stuff. Nobody in their 20's really shops there. In this Bay everybody was a teenager or young adult and there was a dj spinning on the main floor. Huh?

Those are some stories I can think of now. Perhaps I will have more later.

I Love Home!

I have a greencard. I have a greencard. I have a greencard. yeah.yeah.yeah.yeah.

Hello...Is anybody out there?

I realized that I haven't posted a lot lately and my post today is to announce my departure to the Great North.

Mster and I leave tomorrow. I'm interviewing with the immigration folks on Wednesday and should be back in the Midwest on Sunday.

Hopefully I'll get a chance to post while I'm there. We'll have the internet and a computer so who knows. I'll definately be keeping notes and take my camera to document our Montreal adventure.

I don't like Vomit!

Its true. Its disgusting and it means your not feeling well and it smells.

Mster threw up 3 times yesterday and I felt so sorry for the girl. Yuck. I have to admit I'm feeling a little sorry for myself too. I think you should be able give yourself a pity party every once in awhile and tonight is mine. She's tired. She's sick. She's not feeling well and I'm the only one that can soother her but there is only me.

I'm feeling extra spiritual today

So Mster has found a new fun activity. Praying. Cster and I started having prayers with her before her meals and we pray at church and now in our household we pray spontaniously too. She folds her arms, tells us she wants a prayer. It cracks me up.

Hat Special in Aisle 9

Okay maybe the flossing post was a bit too much info but hopefully this will redeem myself.

Yesterday Mster and I took a trip to the store to find storage bins for my 25lb bag of bread flour I bought for 5$. We got to the aisle I assumed was correct only to find a bunch of garbage can lids strewn all over the floor*. These were the kind that are round and have push lids that spin right around if you get some good momentum. Mster was estatic. "Hats" she yelped and immediately put one on her head. The lid completely covered her head and so she started running up and down the aisle blind as can be yelling "hat**" over and over.

I couldn't stop laughing until someone I knew just happened to walk down that aisle at just that time. With a sheepish look I had to explain that yes I let my daughter wear garbage lids and run around like crazy. I mean who wouldn't.



* please note these were garbage cans for sale. I did not let my daugther wear used garbage can lids on her head. (let alone public used garbage can lids)
**she definately said "hat" and not "hot"

I hate flossing

I was never a regular flosser. I was the one at the dentist office who had to sit through the "this is how you floss" speach from the assistant every time I had a visit.

My bad record changed in the spring of 2002. I roomed with a flosser who convinced me and converted me to flossing. Wow she was a flosser and she supported me through all the pain of those first few days/weeks. But within a short period of time my gums stopped screaming in pain but squeeled with delight at the sight of the white minty string. I could dig till my heart was content and felt nothing. It was awesome.

I continued on for months and then sadly slipped back into my brush only days. Its now 2006 and I am ready to floss. I started earlier this week and oh my goodness the pain. It was all I could do to remember my dear friend who relished in the floss pain. Mster took my floss for a couple of days and I finally found it today so I will be returning to the nightly ritual.

Wish me luck and if you hear a blood curtling scream just roll over and go back to bed. I'll survive.

Wow, was it ever a hot day today!

If you hung around me and Mster today you would soon believe it too.

For the record, I don't think it went about freezing today and the morning started with freezing rain, then freezing snow all with a bunch of crazy wind action. It was darn cold. Mster and I had to get some groceries and so off we went to brace the elements. Not a moment out of the house Mster announced "hot". I corrected her and told her "no honey, its cold". To which she replied, "hot". This went on for a few minutes.

Here are some other "hot" conversations we had today. (Sometimes it was hot, sometimes not, sometimes cold)

Mster: hot
Me: No Mster its cold
Mster: hot

Mster: hot
Me: Is it hot?
Mster: No
Mster: hot

Mster: hot
Me: Do you mean cold?
Mster: hot

Me: Brrr...its cold
Mster: hot
Mster: hot
Mster: hot

There was no winning this competition and so admist the freezing precipipation we were greatful to be so "hot".

Interactive Wednesday - The Results

Surprizingly no one got any answers right and some of you got the right answer to the wrong question.

So here's the truth...

1. What is Mster completely fearful of?

The Shower...she throws the biggest fit possible that ends in this crazy panic scream/cry. This is rather odd considering she loves baths, she loves getting water dumped on her head, she likes the rain, she likes playing in fountains, she loves water fountains but turn on the shower and its mass pandimonium.

2. What does Mster have a love/hate relationship with?

This is the vacuum. She loves it but it has its place. For instance, the vacuum must be announced (kudos Warm Fuzzy for that call), it can not just be turned on. Also, the vacuum can only vacuum our front room carpet and no other peice of carpet or else she protests like crazy. I can't even vacuum the small door mat at the front door without a "hey, I'm not sure that I like what you are doing?"

3. What does Mster love to death and will go crazy with excitement at the mere name of it?

The space heater. Her love of the space heater is a little ridiculous. She runs to it when its time for bed. She has now moved to waiting for me to get her when she wakes up on the side of the crib closest to the space heater instead of the door. (To which she then repeatedly reminds me that there is a space heater in her room with shouts of "eatr, eatr, eatr") The towel on the crib from the biting/pepper incident doesn't cover all the way to where the space heater is so I'm not sure if I will need to adjust. So far no gnawing has occurred. She even got very upset when I tried to use the same plug that the heater uses to plug in the vacuum. "Eater! Eatr! Eatr!" I tried to tell her that the heater didn't mind if the vacuum used the plug but it fell on deaf ears.

4. How many more sentences can I end in a preposition?

The possibilities are endless.

Interactive Wednesday - A little behind and a little late

Its been a funfilled day outside with Mster and all of her nap time was spent feverishly trying to finish a baby sweater for a shower tomorrow night that I started last night. (they usually take 5 days, not straight days but 5 days of normal tv watching).

But here it is...

1. What is Mster completely fearful of?
2. What does Mster have a love/hate relationship with?
3. What does Mster love to death and will go crazy with excitement at the mere name of it?
4. How many more sentences can I end in a preposition?

Hint: All objects are machine like although one does not need electricity. So no stuffed animals or clothes or anything like that.

I'll give the answer tomorrow night.

The Happiest Mom Ever

Mster woke up today at 7:30AM. I am the happiest mom ever.

Mster wants to sleep.

I decided that there were too many 5:30AM wake up calls from Mster that were putting me in foul moods the entire day. I decided that I would keep her on the same time zone as our travels instead of readjusting her. Tonight she would go to bed at 7pm instead of 6pm. All was going well. I gave her dinner at 5:30pm instead of 5:00pm. We were playing and having fun. We went to her room to change her diaper and when she saw her bed she immiediately tried to climb in and begged to go to bed. I told her we had to wait awhile and she cried and cried and cried and begged some more. I finally thought "this is stupid, let your daughter go to bed" and so I put her to bed at 6:20pm.

Crazy girl. What kid begs to go to bed?

Back in the good ol' US of A.

Yep, that's right. We've arrived safely and sound back in the US of A. Would you believe me if I said I felt a difference the moment we got off the airplane.

Our flight was an hour late and we were 2 hours early for our flight which left 3 hours of entertaining Mster at the airport. And the way customs/immigration goes once you get through security you are stuck hanging out at your gate with absolutely nothing to do. Here was everything we could find:

-1 fast food restaurant
-1 juice bar
-1 starbucks (they really are everywhere)
-1 newspaper stand
-1 toy stand (not so great with a 17 month old who has constant sticky hand syndrome and feels -the need to touch every stuffed animal possible. She can't even pick one that I may consider paying the abismal airport price for. No she must tuch all of them and then immediately discard it for the next animal that catches her eye)
-2 toy areas (read 2 1-metre/yard squared area with a one of those boards that has stuff chidren can play with. It lasts 10 minutes a pop)
-infinite amount of drinks that people put on the floor while they are reading/listening to their ipod/chatting with their travel companion
- 2 waterfountains those water goes about 1 cm/1/4 inch about the spout so I would not let mster drink from it much to her dismay everytime we went past them.

Our saving grace for both their and back was the Business class seats that we scored from my mom's points. Yeah Points. While I was a little disappointed by the lack of warm towelettes I greatly enjoyed the free flow of beverages in real glasses(even before we took off), the warm nuts in a bowl, the meal (yes the meal), the fruit and cheese platter, the warm cookie, the free starbucks coffee (even though I don't drink coffee I can regift can't I? Oops...Mom pretend you didn't read that.
), the ginormous seats that definately aided when trying to entertain Mster. The speedy check in and security clearence. Oh how I love Business Class.

We did finally arrive. We are now hanging at the in-laws and will soon be enjoying our 12 hour car ride to the place we like to call home. Its been 3 weeks, I hope its still there.

Erg!!!

I HATE PACKING!!!

There is nothing more to be said.

Wow Post #3 - Its all about Hockey!

I really like to separate ideas in posts so today there are 3. We are visiting Canada. I grew up in Canada and heard all the stereotypes and rolled my eyes and thought everybody else was crazy but I'm starting to doubt my rolling of the eyes. Since we've been here we have watched a lot of hockey. Its on all the time. Every night you can get at least 2 games. 2 groups of friends talked about going to games over the break. I can't remember the last time anybody I know went to a game in the USA. PS - Yeah Team Canada for winning the first round of World Juniors. (they beat the USA in their last game. I'm sad that I'm actually into this series and will have to resort to catching scores of the finals on the internet as there is no way that my rabbit ears at home are going to pick up any hockey signal in the near future. :(

Crap Out!

This is not my story but I witnessed it so I hope its okay to share. It makes me giggle everytime I think of it.While visiting the in-laws my milster and mster and I went to a friends house who has a darling 3 year old. Mster and her "played". (read: co-existed while we tried to get them to play with different toys). Then the 3 year olds mom told a story of earlier today.It seems that her darling girl is into imagination. So that day she packed a suitcase for her dolly and off they went to the "hotel" to go for a swim. Unfortunately her dolly had a crap out and they had to completely change her and give her a bath before they could go. Of all the wonderful things this great mom is trying to teach her daughter "crap out" is what she picked up. While telling us the story her daughter even looked up and said "my dolly had a crap out today and we had to give her a bath."Its enough for me not to think about this story in public and not giggle uncontrollably so that people think I'm crazy.

Money! Money! Money!

So Mster says money! now. I include the exclamation point on purpose. Its awesome. She got 2 piggy banks for Christmas. Once is an actual pig (well not an actual pig but a porcelain pretend pig with a slot in the top and a hole in its belly) and the other is a furry dog (again, not a real furry dog) that barks when you fill him with change.One night Mster came up to me holding the dog and saying please (oh yeah and we're working on please too). I sadly told her I had no money and that she should go to Grandpa and Grandma for the money. They burst out laughing until they saw Mster toddle over to my mom, puppy in hand, begging for money. I started saying "money" in a wierd voice and she picked it up too.So, now Mster holds the dog, toddles to my parents, and says "money" in a deep throaty voice that means "give me money now or else". Hahahahahaha....it kills me everytime.

Do they have fireman in Canada?

After today I would have to answer a resounding YES!!!

So a few days before Christmas my dad turned on the wrong burner and burnt a decorative stovetop covering. Oops. He quickly went to the store, bought a new set, wrapped them and put them under the tree for my mom. All was well in Canada.

This morning Cster decided to use the stove. Turned it on and left while the kettle boiled. (A watched pot doesn't boil you know) My mom walked in a few minutes later and started yelling. Oops. Smoke billowed everywhere and this time we got flames. Real flames. My parents have an alarm system that calls you if an alarm goes off. They called and my mom said "we put it out, no problem". Not 5 minutes later a firetruck pulled up and two firemen jumped off the truck in full gear. "Nothing to see here folks". He did his investigation and didn't even roll his eyes once or make fun of us. While the firemen were coming in my uncle pulls up too. Apparently when they couldn't get a hold of us the alarm company called every emergency contact on my parents list. My aunt, my uncle, my dad at work. Oh the drama.

Alas we are fine. A little cold from having to air out the house all morning but fine.

And no more decorative stove top covers again. Ever.

Confessions...

I once shared an entire box of turtles with a friend. Mmmm...I love turtles.

Tis the Season...

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!

I'm one of those crazy people that think we need more Christmas in our lives. We should do as much as possible. I LOVE IT ALL!!!! (That being said I am posting instead of wrapping Christmas presents...oops)

Our Christmas season has been so great so far. We took the much dreaded 12 hour drive to the In-Laws and Mster was fabulous. She got 5 stars. I sat in the back with her for the whole trip which helped dramatically. Much singing. Much reading. Much tickling. Much of everything and then repeat but we arrived and all was well. Well, all was well except our stupid cold and Msters crazy sleep patterns but no need to get into that. The in-laws are great. We are saddened to not partake of their traditions this year. No pots and pots of clam chowder followed by cranberry blows on Christmas Eve. No opening presents in our pajamas.

We arrived at my parents yesterday and the trip was AWESOME!!! My mother got us business class seats (yeah points) and I don't think I can ever go back to coach. The airport was a ZOO and yet we just walked up to the ticket counter and got our boarding pass. The security was a mile long and we just walked up to our "special" security area and boom we were ready to head to our gate. We boarded and realized that 2 business class seats are equal to 10 regular seats. Aaah!!! It was great. Much beverages were consumed along with warm nuts in a bowl, an edible meal (including a warm chocolate chip cookie). Heaven!! The flight attendant even came over while we were changing Mster to take away her diaper. (Now hopefully all of you know me well enough to know that I am not a snob nor do I expect those in the service industry to do demeaning stuff such as take away a nasty poopy diaper but I have to admit it was nice not to have to figure out what to do with it afterwards. And for those that are currently disgusted that I would even think to change Mster in business class and not in the bathroom I would encourage you to take another look at the size of the bathroom next time you fly.)

We arrived save and sound. Canada is great, albeit lacking in snow. Cster has yet to wear a jacket. Crazy Cster. In fact, Cster has yet to wear a shirt with long sleeves on it (and we've been outside on numerous occasions). Mster loves the lights and loves blow up outdoor Christmas decorations. Today has been a day full of "NO" (snow) and "NOMA" (snoman) and "pdee" (pretty, as in pretty tree, or pretty lights) and "more" (as in more slides, more blow up snowman, more running, more tickling)

Happy holidays to all!

AaaChoo!!

mmmm....Nyquil.

A rose by any other name...

This past week Mster has decided its time to start calling me Mama. Its awesome. Now its not used all the time but its used. At first we had a little confusion and Cdawg was also Mama but I think she's got us differentiated now. Yeah Mster!!!

It was very sweet today to pick her up from a friends house. The door opened and the look on Msters face when she saw it was me was so precious. Then the little Mamas that came from her mouth could have melted my heart.

Can anyone translate this?

Wada...wada...waga...walalalala repeated over and over again on the way to pick up Cster from school.

Has it really been 4 days?

It was brought to my attention that I haven't posted in awhile. So here goes:

1. I wasn't going to post anything about this for fear that the perpetrator would one day read my blog and I would feel bad but the story needs to be said. A little over a week ago I babysat for a sick baby. (not the 4 year old) His mama was desperate and had to go to work so I reluctantly said yes. She swore that her kid wasn't sick. It was obvious only 5 minutes after she left that yes, her kid was sick and I spend the next 4 hours wiping his snot ridden face. I felt for the little guy. I wouldn't want to just sit there and have to wait for somebody to wipe the snot dripping from my nose. A few days later Mster started showing signs of sickness and it was also soon apparent that she was ill also. Then friday I woke up and realized that I had contracted the dang thing too. Erg!!! I hate being sick and I was just sick. Why are the sick people out to get me?

2. In my sick induced daze that was yesterday I received a lovely package in the mail from Immigration. It seems that it is time for another interview. This time I get to go to Montreal. My brain could not handle this yesterday. I was flipping out. Somehow I was responsible for getting myself to Montreal on Jan. 25 at 9:30 AM. Erg!! Yeah for my mama who is going to rearrange her schedule and meet me there to help with Mster. Yeah for mini-vacations.

3. I didn't realize it was possible but the Cster broke his toothbrush approximately 30 minutes after I came home from the store on friday. The head broke off. Stop brushing so vigourously Cster.

4. I've gotten lots of questions regarding this cold. Seems people are a little interested in its possibilities. Here are some comments/questions I've heard today:

a) So you have a cold?
yes
Is it just a cold?
yes
Is it just a cold that you have?
yes
b) After announcing that I wanted to throw up.
Oh?!?!?
c) Is it the same thing Mster has/had?
yes

So for all you nosy people out there (and I say that with the utmost regards :) ) I have a cold, period. I may have experienced significant sickness for 9 months about 16 months ago but this is a cold. Period.

5. In my drug induced state on friday night while lying in bed I talked myself into thinking that the duet betwee Ernie and Peabo Bryson on Sesame Street that morning was one of the best songs I'd ever heard. I still kind of believe myself. I'm still sort of drugged up.

And now I bid you adieu to escape to my bed o'blankets and pillows. Aaah.....

Show Me the Poo!

Today I babysat a 4 year old girl, I'll call her G--. Mster needed a diaper change and so I started to tell Mster that we needed to go to her room. Here is the conversation that ensued.

G--: does she have a stinky diaper?

Burrito: Yes, she does.

G--: What's it full of?

Burrito: What?

G--: What's it full of?

Burrito: Poo.

G--: No, its Poop.

Burrito: Okay, poop.

G--: SHOW ME THE POOP!!!!

Burrito: Huh?!?

G--: SHOW ME THE POOP!!!

Burrito: If you really want to see we're going to her room to change the diaper now.

Exodus to the bedroom. Mster is on the change table and I'm in the midst of changing her.

G--: (climbed on the first shelf of the change table) SHOW ME THE POOP!! SHOW ME THE POOP!! SHOW ME THE POOP!!

Burrito: Here it is.

And that's the end of that story. I was so disappointed in its anti-climatical ending. She got down off the change table and went back to playing with toys. But when she was talking earlier it had the exuberance of Cuba Gooding Jr. in Jerry McGuire.

SHOW ME THE MONEY!!

Stuck...Stuck...Stuck!

Mster's big thing to say right now is "stuck". She gets herself into situations where she can't move and then looks at me and says "stuck". I always answer "are you stuck?" To which she answers, "uh, duh, mom, that's why I just said stuck". Well that's what I envision her saying but really she just repeats stuck. I mean lets be honest she can't even say mommy yet.

So right now I'm stuck. I have given all of my gift ideas for Cster away. And now I'm stuck for an idea for him. I finally got a great idea from my neighbour and I went out the next day to purchase it only to have Mster dig it out for all to see. So, now I'm back to square one. Help!!! oh and he reads this so anything you say will have to be in code. I guess a better idea would be to just have the Cster not read the comments.

CSTER YOU CAN NOT READ THE COMMENTS!!!!!

Now many of you will say, "silly burrito, of course he will read the comments and you will remain at square one forever". But you would be wrong. I have faith in the Cster. I know he loves surprizes and he will not read them.

Stuck...

Holiday Eating Tips

I got this in the mail today and realized that maybe we do need a few tips for mass Christmas food consumption

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

I always eat the carrot sticks. In fact, once at Denny's when I was a wee lass I asked for a side of carrots instead of fries. Bring on the carrots.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

The idea of drinking anything with egg in it sounds repulsing. I hate eggnog purely for the fact that it does have egg in the name. Well, I think I have drank it once (maybe twice) and I'm sure I didn't like it. Maybe it has something to do with my white dairy issue*.

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

I do like gravy. mmm...

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

I do like mashed potatoes too. mmm...I would prefer not to know either way if there was whole milk or skim. (Back to the white dairy issue) because I would rather eat my potatoes in ignorant bliss.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your neating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

I think that you shouldn't stop yourself from eating at all during the holidays. If your hungry before you go to the party, eat. If not, don't. If you're eating so you don't eat as much at the party lets get real, you will still eat lots. mmm...carrot sticks.

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll nee after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

Whatever, carrying around a 10-pound plate of food is exercise.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

Agreed

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

Well, I can think of lots of time I get good desert and can't think of lots of time when I get turkey and mashed potatoes and yummy gravy and stuffing. You can have my dessert, just leave the plate o'turkey in front of me.

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it\'s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

Agreed.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Amen.

* Since I can remember I can not eat white dairy in any sort of creamy or solid form. Its disgusting. This includes but is not limited to: plain yogurt, cottage cheese, sour cream, anything but skim milk, cream cheese. Now as soon as these items are mixed with other food I'm okay. So strawberry yogurt, (cottage cheese is just out), onion dip, etc. I'm fine with. I think it all stems from my idea as a youngin that white dairy reminded me of fat. I thought it was like eating fat directly. Now I just can't eat it and I know that there's no fat in it. (ie fat free plain yogur, sour cream)

Brr...Why is it so Cold?

Dear Maintenance Workers,

Its nice that you come to my house and fix broken things. I do appreciate it. I'm not sure what exactly you are doing with the backyard but you came on friday (after a weeks absence) and dug more of the sidewalk up. Perhaps you noticed while working that it was chilly. I think you did because when I went to take out the garbage in my sandals and no coat you were bundled up really well. This is why I was shocked this morning when I went to take the garbage out again to notice that you left the back door open and the lights on in the basement. Now I have to admit I thought our back door was a bit chillier than I remembered it getting last year but I just chalked it up to a bad memory and put a pillow to block the cold air. i can understand forgetting to turn off a light, who hasn't? But, why wouldn't you close the back door? I don't even know when you are coming to be able to keep a watch out for when you may or may not close it in the future.

So please, its all I ask you, SHUT THE DARN DOOR when you are done!!!

Squishy

I love the Botanical Gardens!

I do not love the crazy fish that are at the Botanical Gardens. I call them mutant fish. People can feed them from a 25cent vending machine and everybody says "well, its only 25cents and I got in for free so why not?" and so these fish live to be fed. They are MONGO HUGE and there are tons of them. There are also ducks that eat right out of the fishes mouth. CRAZY!!!

photo curtesy of valentine.toddatgmail.com

Its time to elect a new Prime Minister

Canadians are going to the voting booths sometime in January (I can't remember the exact date and I'm too lazy to go back and find out). So here is a great opportunity to learn a little bit about government in Canada.

Federal electorates are called ridings. In the riding where you reside you are responsible for voting for which candidate you want to represent you in parliament. They are called members of parliament (mps) and are usually affiliated with a party. At the end of voting day they count up all the ballots and determine who will lead each riding. The leader of the party with the most ridings becomes the Prime Minister.

Elections occur whenever the current Prime Minister decides they are going to happen but they have to occur at least every 5 years. The last election occurred sometime between August 2004 and June 2005 (again I remember voting but I'm too lazy to go back and check exact dates). In that election the winning party (the Liberals) gained the most ridings but still had a minority in the government making any sort of effectiveness impossible. Amidst scandal and a growing lack of confidence the other parties bullied the Liberals into calling a new election.

There are 4 major parties right now in Canada. The Liberals, the Conservatives, the NDP (National Democratic Party) and the Bloc Quebecois (free Quebec). I find it fascinating that a party whose main goal is to have Quebec separate is a major part of parliament. We have the pothead party and other side ones too and independents but they rarely get in.

So there you go. Elections are a coming. I can't wait to get up to Canada this Christmas and hear all the campaigning while chestnuts roast on our fire (note sarcasm).

Cster found a blog that seems to be giving a running commentary on the Campaigns. Check it out here.

A side note on our elections:
Last election I was registered to vote in my parents riding. I did not want to drive all the way down there so I went to my local riding voting place showed them my drivers license and they registered me right there to vote (with no computers, just a little white haired woman with a ruler, a pen and a highlighter and a big wad of paper with everybodies name on it.) They hadn't me my card and I went and voted. After the process I realized that Cster while not Canadian had a valid drivers license and if we weren't such good law abiding folk he probably could have gotten a voter card too. And if I so desired I probably could have gone to my parents riding and voted there too. Hmmm...

I want a Hippoptamus for Christmas

I just sent out our family Christmas list to the family and plan on writing my dream list on the blog shortly but I thought while you wait you might enjoy this.

And then there were 4...NO!!!!!!!!

So I'm pretty sure I found another tooth today. Holy teethcutting Mster. Where are you finding the time to do everything else you do in a day.

Conversation with Mster yesterday:

Me: Can you get your hat?

Mster: No

Me: Do you want your ball?

Mster: No

Me: Do you want some water?

Mster: No

Me: Let's read a good book.

Mster: No

Me: Its time to change your diaper.

Mster: No

And then the ultimate test to see if I could get her to say it one more time...

Me: Mster, do you want chocolate cake?

Mster: No


She does impress the Cster and I with her amazing going to bed abilities. As soon as I say the magical words "Mster its time for bed/nap." she jumps up from whatever she's doing (sometimes gives a little cheer), runs to Cster and gives him a kiss than proceeds to her bedroom where she reminds of all the things I may forget that are involved in bedtime. ie: blanket, soother (binky), heater, etc.

She also cracked me up yesterday when she picked up some old food on the floor. I said "Mster that's garbage give it to me" and she said "No" walked to the garbage can in the kitchen, took the lid off, put the garbage in, put the lid back on and then proceeded to try and lift the garbage can to the deep freezer. (I often do this after I put garbage in the bin from Mster since she likes to play with it).

Its very interesting to see the little neurons working away and remembering our repetitive patterns.

Interactive Wednesday - Mmm. Mmm. Good!

Tell us a recipe.

Now I realize this may be a little to domestic for you but I could use some change up in our kitchen so bring it on. The rules are prep. time can't be more than 30 minutes long (the shorter the better). That is the only rule.

My first recipe is:

Chocolate Chip Cookies (the best ever)

1. 3/4 cup granulated sugar
2. 3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar
3. 1 cup butter, margarine, or like, softened
4. 1 tsp vanilla
5. 1 large egg
6. 2 1/4 cup flour
7. 1 tsp b. soda
8. 1/2 tsp salt
9. 1 bag (12 oz) semisweet chocolate chips

1. Heat oven to 375 (F not C)
2. Beat 1-5 in bowl.
3. Stir in 6-8
4. Add 9
5. Drop dough onto ungreased cookie sheet (about 1 1/2 inch balls)
6. Bake 8-10 minutes*
7. Cool 1 to 2 minutes, remove from cookie sheet to racks

*here is Squishy's secret to all that is great with cookies, NEVER cook cookies for the entire amount. DO NOT bake them for 10 minutes or they will NOT be the best ever. Cook your first sheet for 8 minutes and take them out. Even if they don't look done, they are. The next sheet should be no more than 8 minutes but maybe even 7 1/2 minutes. This is the way to get them soft. I promise.

1...2...3!!

Mster has cut 3 teeth in the past week. I don't need sleep really. I like getting up for my day at 3AM. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.

Parallel Parking

To: the lady whose husband knew I was going to parallel park in front of them yet they didn't move their car backwards at all and then got out and watched me park to make sure I didn't hit your car.

You are very rude.

Fist clenching Squishy

MOABC 2005 (aka Smart People Talking)

As a followup to my cry for help on Thanksgiving Eve here is a summary of our Mother of All Brain Conferences 2005.

Intro - Explanation of Name - relating to Eve, DNA and mitochondria.

1. Dster - Compases
An excellent presentation for numorous reasons mainly that we all got our very own compass. Let the record show that Cster chose the only pink one leaving me stuck with a black/navy blue compas. Much fun was had by all learning how to make perfect circles.

2. Maverlous - Stem Cell Research...its Not Your Brother's Kidney
An exploration of the stem cell debate with a gripping ending...YOU DECIDE! A question answered with the terms floaters and swimmers.

3. Mr. Kent - Computers and what IS going on in there
We all became different computer components and after 15 minutes of miscommunication we made a space. Not surprizingly we stopped after the space and thanked the computer geeks of the world for making a faster computer than us. (Of course we did not use the term geek so as not to offend)

4. Master (so as not to confuse with the Mster) - DNA Sequencing
Another power point presentation and more DNA discussion.

5. Moi - the Squishy Burrito - I just found a pancake in my pocket
I wrote the title a month earlier when surprize surprize I really did just find a pancake in my pocket. I discussed what a job description for a parent would look like. I was not impressed with my performance but was much glad when it was over.

6. Cster - Law...what is it good for..absolutely nothing.
Why talk about law when you can talk about the big bad government? How much power do they have anyway?

7. Milster - My life as the Mother of all Brains
Every child really is different and they each teach us different things. Apparently the Cster likes praise, 2 others like love, 1 proved that beyond a trial is a great blessing and 1 showed that God truly is looking out for us.

8. Filster - Top Secret
I was told a long time ago what the Filster was working on but that I couldn't tell a soul. Nobody ever told me it was okay so I'm not sure I can devulge his secrets. But its cool. Canada, you won't know what hit you.

9. Tster - The wonderful world of A/V
So I was wrong and he had 190 slides. It was awesome. Who would have guessed 190 slides would be so entertaining.

Oh the Memories...

The inlaws are home. The house is quiet. The leftovers have been eaten. Sadly the house is losing its trace of the great Thanksgiving 2005 of our family so here are some memorable moments for posterity.

1. Cster feeding 3 pieces of pumpkin pie to the Mster while I was taking a nap.

2. Mster vomiting pumpkin pie on my jacket (whilst I was wearing it).

3. The 24 gallon container they used to make stuffing.

4. The stuffing that was the first to get all eaten.

5. The 22 lb turkey that is already gone.

6. The attempt to incorporate my family's tradition of toothpicking link sausages to the turkey in the final hour.

7. The porcupine turkey that came out of the oven as the sausages were put on perpendicular. (on purpose)

8. Cster's indecent comment to only me about our turkey's need for some happy blue pills.

9. MOABC 2005 (more to come)

10. The Turkey Bowl and Cster's derriere that finally stopped oozing this morning. Road burn sucks.

11. Mster's need to follow the young Dster around the house constantly yelling Dihdih.

12. The Mster's quick acceptance of 7 new people in our home.

13. Apples to Apples hehehe

14. Mster's odd choice of which Thanksgiving feast item to enjoy.
Yeah - Stuffing (so that's wear it all went), shrimp cocktail sauce, cranberry salad, pumpkin pie (see number 2), leftover turkey
Nay - Mashed potatoes, whipping cream

15. 5 pies

16. The need to outvocabularize each other at the dinner table. (Is it syllabuses or syllabi?)

Wax On..Wax Off!!!

Good Bye Mr. Myagi.

I have less than 24 hours and I'm flipping out!!

My in-laws are smart. Period. No need to explain. They just are. One of them who shall not be nameless (maverick, maverlous) thought it would be a great idea for everyone to present 10 minutes on what they are doing and learning about after our Thanksgiving feast. Believe me its a great idea. They are all doing super interesting and smart things. The only problem is that I am included in the 10 minute presentation each. AAHHH!!! And I haven't even started to put anything together. One of them has 119 slides. My milster is also in a bit of a panic and we thought we could combine our time and do a 20 minute dance medley. But I know she's humouring me and in the end she'll come out with something fabulous. She also stated that she figures that hers and mine will be the comic relief of the conference so now not only am I supposed to come up with something, its supposed to be funny. AAAHHHH!!!!!!

HELP!!!! Any ideas? Please, Pretty Please.

9:00pm Baby!

Every morning the only thing that gets me out of bed (other than the yells and hollers of the Mster) is the promise that I make to myself that today I will take a nap while the Mster naps and tonight I will go to bed at 9pm. this happens almost everyday. At least one or the other options but usually both. Usually everyday neither happens and yet the next morning I still get myself up with this false hope.

Well. Today is different. I've got 10 minutes left and by golly (yes, by golly) I am going to do it.

I Got Free Stuff in the Mail!!!

Everyday I patiently await the mail. I get so excited to open the door, look to the left and see if Mr. Mailman has dropped wonderful goodies at my door. A few days ago I looked out my window sadly to see nothing. (This actually happens a few times a week so no need to rally the troops against the post office) I went back to my daily duties of book reading, tickling and singing. Later in the day Mster and I got ready to leave. We opened the door and much to our amazement and glee Mr. Mailman had delivered a wonderful surprize that didn't even fit in our mailbox. Daring One, YOU ROCK!!! I wish I could take a picture (the batteries are kaput) but its a one of a kind (at least that's what I'm telling myself) JUMBO tape dispenser. I know its JUMBO because the package tells me so. There will be no need to hunt for the tape this festive season. This tape dispenser will be impossible to lose. Its awesome and I do plan on taking pictures of me using it in the future.

I also enjoyed Mster "tickling" me whilst I tried to put on her pajamas in her crib. She was lying down in the crib, hand out the railing swiping at my leg while giggling uncontrollably. It actually took me a second to realize what she was doing. But then I played along. "Oh Mster your tickling me. Stop. Stop. Its so ticklish. Your making me laugh". To which she giggled more and swiped more.

I caught Mster stealthily hiding her dinner sometimes right before my very eyes. Guerrilla warfare is definately not her strong point. Here's how it works (well doesn't work):

1) take piece of food you don't want to eat.
2) maneuver your arm so you can get it under your high chair.
3) drop it.
4) look the other way.
5) repeat steps 1-4

Funny thing is there is a ton of food right under her high chair but she can't see it. Funnier is when she does it while looking at me.

Happy Birthday Matt.

I am a Terrible Mother and Other Musings of My Day

1) I tucked Mster in for her nap, left to do groceries and returned only to find Cster asleep in the rocker with a very bundled Mster sleeping in his lap. I later found out that Mster woke up 45 min after I left shivering to death. I had not turned the heat in her room. I am a terrible mother. Public Flogging in 15 minutes.

2) Mster and I listened to Popcorn Popping a recorded 21 times today (by Mster's boisterous request). You can listen to it here if you want to partake of the fun.

3) Cster wore his winter coat for the first time this season. Cold has become us.

4) We have NO heat. :( Workers are still "slaving" away in our basement and the heat can not be turned on. We are living off of space heaters (refer to note 1).

5) Mster is petrified of space heaters unless they are in her room. If we try and hook one up in any other room she freaks out and starts crying.

6) I did all the Thanksgiving shopping (well, almost all) this afternoon. Check out the load.

7) Because I was cold I decided to wear my warmest clean socks which happened to be white. My outfit however was only condusive to black shoes so today I committed a fashion faux pas.

Luckily I looked like this for most of the day.

8) Today I delivered homemade soup to my surgery recovering friend and she gave me oodles of Canadian chocolate. She rocks!!!

9) Mster likes to play with this toy at 6:30AM in the morning. It involves hammering a ball and watching it go through a maze of loud rows. She's gotten very good and fast at it. Thank you Fishfrog.


10) only 24 hours till I travel in our magic car to Hogwarts.

11) Today in the car Cster announced how he had worked hard on me and how happy he was with my progress. I now like Linkin Park and will listen to his hip hop station but then he said that sometimes he feels like he has so much more work to do. Coincidentally I was belting out a Leann Rimes hit at the time.

12) Somehow Mster had no problem when I dropped her off to play at a friends house so that I could prepare for the MOABC 2005 yet I can't go to the bathroom or take a shower without constant knocking and crying. Hmm...

That is all.

Landlord, you Crack me Up!

Here is the latest list of items finished in my house since 3 men in suits came to visit me.

1) 1 dug up sidewalk (our sidewalk looks like a bomb exploded)

2) all the drains cleared (supposedly)

3) a new waterheater for the neighbours

4) loss of water, return of water

5) caulking on the bathtub. caulking washed away on the bathtub

6) a big hole in the cement basement, pipes fixed, new cement in the basement

7) a fruit fly investation

8) Crazy tree in the front yard taken down

9) Coffee cup is gone

and last but not least the reason for all this "extra" work.

9) A ROOM TORN DOWN (I can not confirm this as I heard a ton of banging about an hour ago but I haven't had a chance to go down and make sure its really down.

Interactive Wednesday - Suspended

I'm sorry Interactive Wednesday but you are suspended. You didn't do anything wrong. You are a wonderful addition to my wednesdays and please know its not you, its me. I'm just kind of busy now and I have another cold and my idea for today involves getting out of this chair and going into the kitchen and my poor body just can't do it today. And so you will be suspended until the wednesday after thanksgiving where we will review the situation before re-initiating your comeback.

I am ever so sorry to Fishfrog who changed Tax Wedneday to Tax Tuesday just for me. I promise it was not in vain.

What is Wrong with My Blog?

Does anyone know why my template all of a sudden decide to shift my right column down a mile?

Does anyone know how to fix it?

Napoleon Dynamite Size Dilemma

For all you Pedro fans Daring One has a clutter and moral problem. Check it out here.

I am Victorious!

Today was a NO yogurt day. I am Victorious!

I did however realize that in addition to teaching the Mster how to say spit that she was taught the actions as well. We now have a 15 month old that can spit on command. What mother wouldn't be proud?

I lost again!

It looked like I was going to come out victorious but alas I lost my battle with Mster and yogurt today. It seems that Mster is obsessed with plain full fat yogurt. She must have it once a day. Preferably at dinner. Today I was armed and ready. I had leftover lasagna that I knew she loved. I had oranges. I had grapes. The lasagna went over well. The oranges even better. But it was while I was presenting the grapes that I believe Mster caught onto my attack plan. (namely to fill her up before she realized she hadn't had yogurt) She refused the grapes and anything else and I was forced to get out the tub of white dairy and fill up her measuring cup so she could happily slurp away.

A few days ago the Cster took Mster outside to play whilst I was putting away groceries. In the 10 minutes I left them alone Cster had taught Mster 2 new words.

Sti- stick
Spi- spit (followed by peels of laughter)

So now our 15month old daughter can say spit and not mommy. Ugh!!!!

My subconscious is SOOO Smart!

A few weeks ago while reading a friends blog I noticed she was in a book club. Always trying to find an interesting read and not yet initiating my Interactive Wednesday...I just read a great book I decided to check it out at the library.

Much to my amazing suprize it was a story about 2 Dutch women who were a part of the underground rescuers during Nazi Germany. I love learning about Nazi Germany. I'm fascinated by it. I'm obsessed with understanding the whole concept of annihilation and what would posess a race to do so. I had however not read anything about rescuers. (Actually thats not true I read the Diary of Anne Frank in 6th grade) I was hooked. I loved reading about rescuers and I found 2 other books of which I am on the second one.

Then, today, I took Mster to the library to return some books only to find it was closed. Its Veterans Day! This was great. Veterans day is the same day as Rememberance day in Canada. Ever since high school I have always watched at least one WWII movie with Nazi's on Remembrance day eve. I had totally forgotten the day was coming. But alas my subconscious is SOOOO smart and while we have no WWII movies here and I did not watch one last night I did read my book and I do plan on reading more of it tonight. I love traditions.

Happy Veterans Day! Happy Remembrance Day!

Way to go MSN Search!

I would like to take this moment to officially thank MSN Search for supporting my blog.

If you type any of the following search queries my blog comes up:

1) Squishy

2) Where is Thumkin (I guess it pays to misspell) :)

3) Larakeet

What shall I do?

Maybe I'll write a fantastic post today or maybe I won't.

I've Opened Pandora's Box!

So far our home has been graced by 2 contractors and 4 property management maintenance personel on 2 different occasions.

1st Occasion: The Plumber
This suprized me because they never told me they were going to get a plumber. I think this also suprized the plumber when he eventually came knocking on the door asking what in the world was leaking and why was he there. (he had already been downstairs for 15 minutes) I told him the problem (nothing to do with plumbing, I thought) but suggested while he was there that he check out the pipes as we do have pools of water sporadically in our basement. He found some interesting stuff and property management people came.

So we may, or may not, get the following done: (in addition to the mold issue)

a) a new water heater
b) a new shower door
c) new faucets

2nd visit: A concrete contractor
Apparently the Environmental people did come and determined that our sidewalk needed to be fixed. The sidewalk guy talked to me for 1/2 hour (if anybody would like to know sidewalk guys life history, I know it) and toured the basement (I should start charging money) and found a bunch of other stuff. Crazy.

So tomorrow morning sidewalk guy and his workers are going to bring their jackhammers and sledgehammers and probably other hammers and tear up the entire sidewalk and put in a new one.

Let the construction begin...

Interactive Wednesday - Look Ma, No Hands!

I'm glad the last few interactive wednesdays have been such a huge hit. The first installment of Corner Gas was viewed chez moi (we missed you Fuzzy) and the DVD has already landed in the paws of Maverick. All is well in Saskatchewan.

Interactive Wednesday is going to be another show and tell this week. Well more of a tell if you must be so exact. There are so many things that I don't know about you. And so today lets share a little. Now don't panic. Your identities need not be revealed. And remember you write the comments so you have full say on what we hear.

I thought we could share a little about our accomplishments. Those things that make us proud of our past but then I started laughing and laughing. Who wants to hear about those things. We want the gruesome, funny details of your life. So do you have a talent? A stupid human trick by chance. Have you done anything rather odd?

Here's mine:

1) I can say the alphabet backwards in under 5 seconds. I am usually clocked at 3 seconds.

2) I did concert security for the Back Street Boys, NSync, Matchbox 20 and a big outdoor concert. For those that know me this is quite humourous considering the fact that I don't necessarily give off the "cross me and you die" aura. My entire orientation and training involved getting an id badge and being handed a black shirt with SECURITY written in white. I'm sure all my clients felt extremely safe. My favourite moment was watching the lead singer drive around in a golf cart while concert officials/admin tried to chase him down because he was supposed to be on stage. My least favourite part was when the Back Street Boys mean big bodyguard yelled at me backstage.

You Go Girl!

While driving home today I looked at Mster only to see her digging. She was working it all the way up to her first little baby knuckle.

Reading Time at the Library

Today I took the Mster to the library for a baby (0-2yrs old) reading time. I've gone before. Usually it is a bunch of moms with their 1 or 2 children sitting on the floor listening to the librarian read stories. There is also music and clapping and lots of random walking about. Usually I would say 15 kids at the max.

But, today was a little different. Another group came in. They were either preschool or daycare group with 40 kids. 40KIDS!!! It was very crowded. But here is where the situation got interesting. I started to observe the difference between these 2 groups. The daycare kids sat there quietly. Some with blank stares just hanging out. Some obviously enjoying the entertainment but still sitting. Almost all of the other babies (with their moms there) were much more active. They stood up. They wandered. They clapped when they weren't told to clap. They danced when the music came on. (The daycare kids did get up and clap when the music came on bu their leaders quickly told them to sit down, which they all did magically).

So, why the difference? And which is better? The kids were obviously well behaved. My mster rushed the librarian and had a complete conversation with her including pointing feverishly at the book. None of these kids rushed the librarian.

hmmm....

Goodbye Diapers!

Today Mster and I got rid of all her old diapers. (not dirty, but old diapers) We had a big farewell party with Mster waving madly to her old chums and repeatedly telling them bye.

Don't go thinking we're into potty training already. Its not that big a day. Today Mster moved up to size 4 diapers and we were bidding a grand farewell to the size 3. You see for the past few weeks we've been noticing a lot of plumbing* going on around the house and I knew it wasn't my diapering abilities this time and finally just realized they were too small for her.

So off we went to purchase bigger diapers. (a big conspiracy is that the bigger the diaper you get the less diapers you get in the container) and now Mster is decent.

*plumbing: from the Cster's dictionary, "to plumb". To show one's butt crack while bending over.

Mster's Dictionary 1.1 (and a small bit on "the Man")

Mster's Dictionary:

Bahble: bubble
bahday: banana
baw: ball
doodee: cookie, I honestly don't know how she knows this. I would never give my 15 month old cookies. :)
Dahdee: Elmo

and...

I really thought I might be overposting on "the Man". I figured people were probably at the point that if I wrote one more ranting post without actually taking anybody's advice they would revolt and boycott. But alas, I recieved a request for an update and by golly just a few short hours ago an update was experienced to be written about.

First off, thanks to all those who gave suggestions. Really I'm a wimp at heart and the thought of calling a tv news people consumer report scared the guts right out of me. I mean I don't want my tv debut to be me, unbrushed hair, holding a baby, crying about my basement. My tv debut shoudl be me singing a Christmas special with famous musicians*. A thanks also goes out to Annonymous, who although will not reveal himself/herself (which drives me absolutely crazy with a little syndrome I like to call "I NEED TO KNOW!!!", gave a great suggestion of government health people. And I looked into it I really did but it looked like I would be involving myself in other "the Man"s and I was frightened.

So I decided over the weekend to write a letter to the company and copy it to the University since we are in offcampus housing. I called up the U and asked who I needed to send it to and was told to just talk to him instead. It was el presidente of the company. Not el presidente of the U (although that would have been an interesting phone call). After talking to el presidente I was told that he was disturbed and would call me back by the end of the day. Yeah, said I. (I know I'm a sucker) 15 minutes later there were 3 men in suits in my basement. Another 15 minutes later and I was shaking hands with el presidente himself, the head maintenance guy, and the maintenance supervisor of my area. They told me all the things they were going to do and then gave me their info so that I could call them directly for followups if I needed to. Hallelujah!
Production/destruction commences early next week.

*oh wait, I already did that. Winter of 87'88 baby. Me, my 4th grade choir, and Air Supply singing Christmas Carols in Olympic Plaza for the whole nation.

If I Was Your Tour Guide in Banff!

We would arrive in Banff and immediately hike Suphur Mountain. It is not too long (maybe 2 hours), we'd have lunch and then we would take the Gondola down. (If you ride up its 20$CAN, if you ride down its free.) On the ride down or during the hike I would tell you about the sulphur hot pools that you can go in. You will tell me that you forgot your bathing suit and I will reassure you that you can rent them there. You will look at me like I am on Mars and we will never discuss renting bathing suits again, ever.

Then we would have lunch. I always say we'll have lunch at the top but its always windy. So we never do. Instead we will spend a total of 10 minutes on the top, realise how darn windy it really is and rush for the gondola. Then we will either eat lunch at some picnic table or go to Lake Minnewanka. I will tell you the story about the Elk that came charging towards us one time while I was there and the crazy tourists who did not take their kids and run but instead grabbed them and threw them closer to the Elk to get a good picture

After Lake Minnewanka I will assess your needs. Are you a shopper or an explorer? If you are a shopper we will go here:

You will be able to purchase anything your heart desires at only 200% the cost of buying it anywhere else. You will however get to see "the Candy Store" and "Lush".

If you are into exploring I would take you here:

The picture may be small but its the Banff Springs Hotel. Here we will try and get as far was we can into the hotel without getting caught. Its pretty fun. I will tell you about the haunted rooms and how I ate my first, and only, escargot there during a french field trip.

After our adventures in shopping or trespassing we would get in the car and head to Lake Louise. I love Lake Louise. The lake is green and amazing. I will dazzle you with my trivia knowledge that "the Shining" was filmed there.

Lake Louise doesn't take very long. So I would then surprise you and say while Lake Louise is awesome there is a lesser known touristy lake that is even better. We would take the short drive to Moraine Lake.

Then I would dazzle you with more of my trivia knowledge and tell you that it is actually Moraine Lake that is on the 20$ Canadian bill.

After Moraine Lake we would make the trip back to Calgary revelling in the Rocky Mountain beauty. I love it!!!!

Sidenote: I stole all these pictures off the web. They are not mine and you can't use them with my permission because I have none (permission, that is).

CanCon

It turns out that only about 12% of my readership is coming from Canada. I feel that this number could definately be boosted. And so I have decided that I'm going to try initiating a little CanCon on my blog.

What is CanCon?
For those who want an official answer you can go here. But the gist of it is that I need to put 33% (or is it 30%?) of my blog full of Canadian content. This will make Candians more likely to read my blog because I will have more things that they can relate to. I don't know how it works but the Canadian government says it will and who am I to argue.

How will CanCon be implemented on my blog?
Very carefully. (well not really) Everyonce in a while I will randomly pick a Canadian topic/person/location/etc. and discuss.

How will CanCon be measured on my blog so that it is at least 33% (or 30%)?
It won't.

Good Night, eh!

Is that Purple or Indigo?

I just wanted to say that I definately think I detected an indigo aura around Mster this morning? Eerie...

The Webster and Mster Dictionary

Websters Dictionary:

Probscic
Pronunciation: pr&-'bä-s&s, -'bäs-k&sFunction: nounInflected Form(s): plural -bos·cis·es also pro·bos·ci·des /-'bä-s&-"dEz/Etymology: Latin, from Greek proboskis, from pro- + boskein to feed

1 a : the trunk of an elephant; also : any long flexible snout b : the human nose especially when prominent2 : any of various elongated or extensible tubular processes (as the sucking organ of a butterfly) of the oral region of an invertebrate

Mster's Dictionary:

Tees: toes
Bahday: banana, bagel
DaaaaaaDeeeeeee: daddy
Duhdeee: ducky
B'Dahdee: bye daddy
Bye: bye
Hi: hi
Why: I want that. I want to give you this.
No: I am done eating and you have less than a second to acknowledge me before I start throwing food on the floor.
Uh Oh: I fell. You fell. I almost fell. You almost fell. I dropped something. You dropped somthing. You pushed a little hard on the brakes.

Where is Tall Man?

Not to be confused with "the Man".

A few days ago I was sitting in a circle with a bunch of other moms and their tots. It was sing-a-long time. After a great rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star the leader suggested Where is Thumkin. Here's how it went:

"Where is Thumbkin? "Where is Thumbkin?" (hands are behind your back)
"Here I am." (Right hand comes forward revealing the thumb)
"Here I am." (Left hand comes forward revealing the thumb)
"How are you today sir?" (right thumb speaking and moving in an up and down motion)
"Very well I thank you." (left thumb speaking and moving in an up and down motion)
"Run and hide" (Right hand goes behind back)
"Run and hide" (Left hand goes behind back)

This sounds harmless doesn't it? Well the song goes on with pointer. And then the song moves on to Tall Man.

When its Tall Man's turn you have a bunch of mom's with children in their laps giving each other the finger. Some mom's hold up two fingers to try and eleviate the awkwardness. Some mom's proudly raise Tall Man and, I think, sing just a little louder and other mom's just glance back and forth to their neighbours cowering as they wish this verse was over.

Aah good times at play group...

Interactive Wednesday - I just read a GREAT book!

Well I really just reread a book that I LOVED!!! I think that everybody should read it and so Interactive Wednesday is finding out what other books people loved and feel that others should read too.

Give the name of the book.
The Author.
A short synopsis.
Why you like it.

Here's mine: (I know a lot of you have already read it but I really want everybody who hasn't read it to hear about it):

Life of Pi
by Yann Martel
A young indian boy finds himself floating on the Pacific on a raft with a Bengal Tiger, a Zebra, an Orangutan and another animal I can't remember.
First, of Martel is Canadian. Yeah!!! Second, the book made me think like no other. In fact a year later I am still thinking about it. That's what a good book does.

I look forward to getting a new library list from everybody.

Propaganda and Torture

I spent many minutes today explaining to the Mster why putting our fingers in other people's noses is not fun. It was usually interupted with her putting her finger in my nose. The Cster witnessed it all.

Shortly thereafter the Cster decided it would be hilarious to pin me down and encourage the Mster to poke in my nose with her finger. She loved it. I did not.

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!

I realized what a lucky girl I am today. I get applause almost daily. Other than some entertainers how many people can say that?

Almost every day Mster gives me an enthusiastic clap for different tasks that I accomplish. Today it was wisking the egg in preparation of pancakes. Yesterday it was my amazing dancing moves. I tell you this girl knows talent.