Telling it like it is

Yesterday Mster and I picked up Cster from the church where he had been at scout camp. Here is the conversation which took place in the car afterwards.

Cster: What's Daddy going to do when he gets home?
Mster: Take a shower.
Cster: That's right. Daddy is stinky.
Mster: Daddy smell poopy.



On a non Mster note - Cster and I were watching tv last night when a commercial for a man who could train us and help us get a license for a concealed weapon came on the air. This was his slogan: Concealed weapons mean less crime.

Happy Birthday to You!!

or as Mster would say it...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAKE MSTER*!!!

(pictures of cake to come soon)

*do you think she knows her blog name?

Birthday Cake Party

Yes its another post about Birthday Cake. Yes I feel it should be capitalized. For the amount of time I spend everyday discussing this topic with Mster you should all be grateful all the posts aren't about Birthday Cake. We've been trying to come up with a good birthday cake idea since we are having an entire 1 hour open house party centered entirely around cake and ice cream. I can't come up with anything. I ask Mster what she wants on her cake and she says "birthday cake" and I ask her what she wants on her birthday cake and she looks at me like I've asked her to write a dissertation on Marxism. Erg.

And because I feel we need a little reminiscing. Here is the cake from last year:

Fun Game

Here's a fun game Mster made up this morning.

Mster stands in the corner facing the wall.
I say "Where's Mster?"
She replies "There she is"
I hold out my arms
Mster runs over and gives me a big hug and a kiss
repeat.

This must be done in exactly this order. Arms can not go out before she says "there she is". don't even try it.

Beaches?

As anyone seen the beach, Mster is looking for it?

The truth will set you free

I love this stage that Mster is in where she tells us everything. I have to admit it does get annoying when I have to hear a detailed play by play on absolutely everything that she does but its also nice to know that she wants to share. I also appreciate that she is not selective about what she shares, good or bad.

Here are some good ones of late:

1) I'm spitting
2) I'm down (after repeatedly being told she couldn't get down from the table)
3) I'm touching the barbecue
4) I have daddy's phone
5) I'm touching the computer

I know there will be a time when I am not so lucky in her revealing her misbehaviour.

On another note Mster has found her nipples. After every bath she looks in the mirror points to her chest with her two little fingers and yells "LOOK my have 2 nipples". I know she's doing it for a response and I have to admit I give her what she wants everytime. Who couldn't laugh at that?

Quirks of our Morning

We had to do some errands today and I just found some things quite odd or quirky. 1st was the post office that had a certified letter waiting for me (or so I thought). I've never been to my actual designated post office before and had no clue where it was. I'd like to say directions and maps are one thing I'm not too bad at so when the internet went down this morning I pulled out my trusty map and attempted to locate the address. Hmm...maybe mapquest has numbed my abilities but there were 3 streets with the same name in 3 different quadrants with no way of figuring out which was the right one (and Mster dancing on the spread out map on the floor, albeit a cute distraction, still a distraction). I finally succombed to calling the post office to ask for directions and got no answer. No automated person telling me to press 1 for English, nothing. What was an internet free girl to do? If you guessed go try the internet to see if it was up again, you're right. Mapquest did not fail me this time and we were off.

At the post office I was slightly amused by the HUGE mural on the wall. You see this post office is in a lower income neighbourhood. There were windows blocking me from jumping over the counter and attacking my post office employee (not something I've seen at any of the other post offices I've gone to). And yet, the mural depicted a very not lower class suburb of our metro area in the 1800's. Parasoled ladies being helped into horse drawn carriages by top hatted men on beautifully manicured lawns. Not one non-white person in the mural. Very interesting difference to the actual neighbourhood that was not filled with horse drawn carriages, well manicured lawns, but instead filled with boarded up houses and businesses and streets and sidewalks filled with gravel.

After leaving the post office empty handed (if you don't count Mster's sticky hands) as apparently the post office doesn't have my certified letter (although I am quite confident that the lady behind the metal and glass filled windows who wrote a small post it note to remind herself to go look again for hte letter and give it to my postman will indeed do so and I'll get my letter shortly) we headed to the Birthday Cake Store known to the rest of the world as Dollars R Us. Mster is still VERY excited by anything birthday related and calls everything birthday related birthday cake. There is: Happy Birthday Cake Birthday cake hats Birthday cake balloons Birthday cake cards Birthday cake party I think you get the idea. On the way Mster got a bit impatient and started repeating over and over again "Birthday Cake store, where are you, oh birthday cake store". I could not muffle a laugh when she enthusiastically pointed out her window and yelled "there you are birthday cake store". It was the most ghetto liquor store I have ever seen.

We finally made it to Dollar Store Mania and I promised Mster she could walk around the store herself and not ride in a cart. At this point I would like to apologize to everybody for not bringing my camera because Mster immediately found a floppy hat and Dora umbrella and proceeded to wear both and walk around the store in similar fashion to the parasol filled mural we saw at our previous location. I almost died laughing. Finally "birthday cake" items were purchased and we bid a tearful farewell to the hat and umbrella and made it home.

I will NOT panic...the Update

After hours and hours and 2 different crews consisting of what I counted as 8 men going in and out of the bathroom about every 10 minutes they finished leaving the bathroom in a somewhat better state than when they arrived but definately a better state than the pictures of the previous post.

Better in the sense that they painted the entire bathroom and not just the corner where the hole was. Considering we had mold growing up by the ceiling that was a pretty positive improvement.

Not better is that I use the word entire rather loosely in that no tape was used in the painting so instead of using paintbrushes to do the finer edges they just stopped the rollers early.

Not better is that its the same ugly offwhite colour that is our entire house.

Not better in that we had to throw out a lot of stuff that was in the bathroom like toothbrushes and other toiletries.

Better that they did attempt to clean up.

Not better that we still had to scrub plaster peices and dust after they left.

But they left and its done and I promise to return to regular scheduled Mster cute stuff in future posts.

I will NOT panic!!!

About 30 minutes after Mster went down for a nap I heard a knock at the door. 2 construction guys stood there. One of them I recognized as part of the plumbing workers that had to come for the mold incident. Apparently the apartment upstairs that they are building has a tub that doesn't drain properly and the only way to fix it is to cut a hole in my ceiling to get access. I'm not panicking. Really.

We've reached THAT time...

There comes a time in every parents life where things really start to change. That is the time when you have to really watch what you are saying. Here are 3 examples:

1. When you leave your house to go to a movie and come home to find your daughter awake and a bit scared that you're not there and Cster tells her you went to see Big Bird at the movies (the big tv) and for the next 3 nights she will not go to sleep for fear that you will leave her to go see Big Bird.

2. When Cster tells you to "shut up" and Mster immediately repeats it while looking right at you. (He was joking! We all know he's a great person)

3. When Cster is on the phone with family and tells them that we've found out things are good with Sven and that he has 10 fingers and 10 toes and I jump in (thinking I'm funny) and say "and a P-n-s*" and Mster repeats it over and over and over again.

We've entered a new era in our household. I'm not quite sure we're ready for it.

* I do not want my site to come up on a search engine because I used that appropriate word for male genit--ia :)

In case you needed to know...

This morning Mster gave me a list of all the places she's used the bathroom.